Once again I am forced to deactivate my waning common sense in an attempt to understand why this movie could spawn the mind boggling number of sequels it has. Actually, I think it just came to me as I write this! Everyone who wants to make up a low budget, Direct-to-Video ghost movie, just to say they did, can slap on the Amityville title! This way, they get name recognition, and at least the Amityville followers will waste $3.18 to see the movie! AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE is a good example. Now that I've put out my theory, allow me to review the original, the motivational, the mediorical, AMITYVILLE HORROR. It's based on the book of the same name by Jay Anson, which, in turn, is based on some conspiracy possession killing or something that I don't have time to explore. It all begins one stormy night, December 13th, 1974, at Amityville Long Island. A family is brutally (oh please, gunshots are merciful compared too some of the stuff I've seen or done) murdered by the 20 year old son. He says he did it because some voices in his head told him to. "One Year Later", a newlywed couple and their bastard children from the wife's other marriage move into the house. "One Month Later", the family is still moving in... damn they're slow. George (the hubby) begins to get more and more weird and bitter than usual. Meanwhile, the toilet begins to overflow with black sludge (if it's brown, drink it down! if it's black, send it back). Bad plumbing aside, nuns and priests who go to the house become violently ill just being there! More and more problems arise for the unhappy family, as George is constantly freezing and impotent (well, it does shrink when it's cold, so they kinda go hand in hand... get it?), his wife Kathy wakes up in the night screaming "she was shot in the head!!!", money disappears in large amounts, claustrophobic babysitters get trapped in small closets, the little girl's imaginary pal Jody is "telling stories" and "causing mischief". Meanwhile, the church just sits back and bitches amongst themselves, doing nothing to help the family... not unlike their neutral role in the holocaust. Typical 20th century religion. The evil just continues, as windows smash on vulnerable hands, doors explode off their hinges, flies begin to swarm about, and glowing eyes appear in the night. Finally, a paranormal chick who's had one too many talks with "God" comes to the house, and reveals to us that the house was built as a place for warlocks excommunicated from Salem to continue their Satanic rituals and human sacrifices. In addition, the "mentally unsound" were locked in the basement and left to die, then were buried there. When the family goes exploring in the basement, they find a doorway to Hell behind the wall. Big deal, my uncle has a doorway to Hell in his pantry. The evil isn't restricted entirely to the house, as the only priest who believes in the family is blinded when he tries to pray for their souls. See kids, when you try to help people out, "God" steals your sight. So, either ignore people in need, or just add to the problems! On "the Last Night" of the family's stay, there's a big storm, the place goes into madness mode, and George and family escape with their lives in tact. Pretty relaxed for your average haunting story, lacking the energy and visual stimulation of a POLTERGEIST or a HOUSE. But, it did try to hold onto the creepy side, and when George really gets angry and bitchy, this works. So, maybe if there'd been some fatalities or flying furniture, the movie would've impressed me more. Suspenseful mood only works well if done perfectly, and that's hard to do. Sadly, AMITYVILLE HORROR missed the mark.

Sequels: AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION; AMITYVILLE 3-D; AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES; AMITYVILLE '92: IT'S ABOUT TIME; AMITYVILLE: A NEW GENERATION; AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: THE AMITYVILLE CURSE (actually not a part of the AMITYVILLE series, but similar) or THE POSSESSION OF JOEL DELANEY