Once again, I welcome Full Moon Studios into my VCR, as Charles Band continues to prove he's got a toy fetish. BLOOD DOLLS has a few notable points, including Phil Fondacaro in his role as Hylus: the EVIL lookin' midget henchman! To whom does he hench though? Well, there's this eccentric rich guy by the name of Mr. Virgil Travis. Mr. Travis loves his oddities, including his personal caged chicks metal band, his henchmen Mr. Mascaro (an evil clown enforcer) and Hylus (the aforementioned pint sized minion), and his new toys: the BLOOD DOLLS! Mr. Travis is getting financially screwed by a group of fellow wealthy people. He doesn't like this. So, after turning some of those responsible for his loss into BLOOD DOLLS, he sets these toys with teeth out to take care of the other bastards fucking with his fortune. The dolls are: Pimp (the name explains it all), Sideshow (a pierced bruiser), and Ms. Fortune (a four-armed kabuki ninja babe). Soon enough, Mr. Travis's three competitors are finished. End of story right? Wrong! The manipulative wife of one of now deceased enemies has captured the dolls, outwitting Virgil and signing her own death warrant at the same time! But, she has a proposition to make. Actually, it's more like a proposal! She wants to become Mrs. Virgil Travis, combine their fortunes, and have a happy little family! Conveniently, Mr. Mascaro is a reverand in addition to being a clown, so he can do the services for them. But, unhappy with his freakish existence (Trav's got a tiny shrunken head that he conceals with a Frankenstein-like mask), after the ceremony is done, Trav seals the exits and fills the house with gas, planning to kill the members of his little "family"! Sadly, Ms. Fortune decides to break the chick band out of their cage, the girls smack Hylus across the room courtesy of their lead guitar, then they escape and take to the road with their animated little pals. After the credits role, Mr. Mascaro is kind enough to show us an alternate ending that Mr. Band had filmed for the movie, in which Trav decides he likes the prospect of married life and doesn't want to kill everyone, so they all live happily ever after. Except for Hylus, who STILL gets *whacked* across the screen via the band's guitarist! Even though the cool looking dolls weren't shown nearly enough (we don't even see then during the second kill!), I still thought this was definitely one of Band's better efforts of recent years. Besides, I think I'm starting to catch Charley's toy fetish! Mmmmmm, my Leech Woman doll's lookin' really hot right about now. Well, while I go give her a new man juice paint job, I leave you with these thought provoking words from the metaphorical Mr. Mascaro: "There's two kinds of people in the world: the kind that piss themselves when you kill 'em, and the kind that don't".

Sequels: None

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: PUPPET MASTER or DEMONIC TOYS