"Hmmmm, an H.G. Wells story about giant rats? May be interesting...". These were of course my first thoughts when I picked this up. I have fond childhood memories of a movie in which giant sewer rats devour a dog or something. Actually, I am a God, so these human vessels are simply my avatars, when one dies, I simply create another to keep tabs on the world. Unfortunately, THIS avatar just sits on his overly plentiful posterior and watches horror movies!! Oh well, the AVATAR has fond childhood memories blah.. blah... blah.... Well, this isn't that movie. Anyway, what this movie DOES have, is some guy named Morgan (his parents' deaths probably made him VERY happy... vengeance is his!) and his football team cronies take a break from the "hustle and bustle" of the city to raise some Hell in some backwoods island (if it's an island, then how can it be in the "backwoods"?... Shut up me! Stop contradicting myself!). Well, Morgan's "Pa" always told him that one day Mother Nature will kick mankind's ass for pissing her off by fuckin' with her shit (well, not in those EXACT words) and boy was he right... if you can sum up the whole of mankind with an old redneck couple, some "city slicker" business people, and a couple of jocks. Anyway, on the remote island there's this shit stain of a farm owned by an old couple. In their backyard is this weird mound from which a white milk-like liquid flows (should've called it CUM OF THE GODS). Well, turns out it's some whacked out growth formula (with no known origin) and the problem arises when the local woodland creatures eat some of the stuff (no, not THE STUFF, but the crud in the mound) and get REALLY big (but not GODZILLA big)! Everything from wasps to roosters (hehe, a giant cock) to rats start attacking people (guess it's a good thing that there's only like 5 inhabitants on this pimple of an island). Well, soon enough the cast is hold up in a farmhouse, surrounded by giant rats. But, thanx to Morgan (who must've read the anarchist's cookbook) and his molotov cocktails and pipe bombs (see what I mean?) the group blows up the nearby damn, flooding the island and drowning the rats. After the water returns to it's brethren (the rest of the ocean), the survivors pile up the rats and what's left of the FOOD OF THE GODS and burn the whole shebang (why is my vocabulary so strewn with bizarre words?!). Of course, you can't just let it end there, you have to have the dramatic and eerie foreshadowing of future horrors to come (also known as sequels). This appears in the form of 2 bottles of the growth juice as it is washed out to sea, then into a stream where some cows drink it up. The cows are milked, and who drinks the milk? Some school kids of course (insert dramatic "DUN DUN DUN!" here)! And yes, there IS a sequel! Despite my insults (and these damn side notes!), I have to give my respects to the special FX crew! Where as I was fearing another NIGHT OF THE LEPUS, these guys actually made a convincing movie! Maybe not perfect, but for the time (the fuckin' disco era) this was a great job on the whole "size ratio" camera work! That alone is pretty much why this isn't such a bad movie after all! WAHOO! Times like this make a young Death and Embalming God feel good (and it makes my avatar once again thankful that he missed the whole 70's thing)!

Sequels: FOOD OF THE GODS II

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: NIGHT OF THE LEPUS or WILLARD (if you're a fan of rats)