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Godzilla vs. Biollante

(1989)

Yes, this is the first monster-on-monster fight for the newly revamped Godzilla for the 80's - 90's! It all begins after the city smashing events of GODZILLA 1985, as one of Godzilla's scales is peeled off some debris. The cells from the scale are then swiped by some Arab corporate agent! "5 years later", and after a lab explosion claims the life of a scientist's daughter and supposedly "destroys" the G Cells, a class of psychic kids and their psychic teacher keep having the same dream: the big G is coming back! It turns out that those 5 years ago, it was the Japanese government that destroyed the lab, taking the G Cells for their own, in hopes of developing a nuclear radiation devouring bacteria. To clean up radioactive spills and other accidents? Hell no! To kill Godzilla! Also, the doctor whose daughter was killed in the accident 5 years earlier joins the bacteria project. He snags some of his own G Cells, which he combines with a rose he believe houses the soul of his daughter, creating Biollante: a gigantic mutant rose, which takes root in a lake. The name comes from some giant, mythological plant spirit or something, but Godzilla doesn't really give a shit about Mythology, as he soon shows up to steal back his spotlight! He strolls out of his volcano prison one afternoon, making his big return, as once again, the Japanese military is, you guessed it, ABSOLUTELY USELESS! No matter how much toy model hardware they put in his way, he's still just gonna stomp 'em into spare parts! Not even the Super X2 (a souped-up version of the anti-Godzilla craft from GODZILLA 1985) and all it's blinking lights, shiny doohickeys, or stupid theme music is enough to stop the radioactive super beast! And their only hope, the anti-nuclear bacteria, has been swiped by that Arab James Bond guy again! Finally, the "new Godzilla"s tour-de-force leads him to his first one-on-one monster brawl of the new series: a gorgeously done night fight with the herbal horror of Biollante! This scene was truly bitchin'! I love a good night battle! It's pretty one sided though, as G soon torches the bitch easily, then swims off to recharge his battery at a nuclear plant... until the army throws a young psychic girl in his way! This slows him for all of 2 minutes. But, after a casual stroll through (or should I say "over") Osaka and a rematch with the repaired Super X2 (would that make it Super X2 1/2?), the good guys finally plant the recovered anti-nuke bacteria into him. Only problem now is to raise the G man's body heat so the bacteria can incubate! You'd think they would've thought of this before hand, but hey, they were probably too busy hating America and making defective video games... Well, using artificial lightning, they finally get the bacteria to take hold, as Godzilla gets a major case of the dreaded Osaka Flu ("Simpsons" fans take note). To make matters worse for the big guy, Biollante (who's apparently been licking his wounds in the atmosphere) returns, looking FAR more bad-ass and crocodile-like! After being lanced, constricted, acid showered, and nearly eaten, G finally takes the fall and Biollante again dissipates into the atmosphere (I don't think I'd want a plant monster living in my atmosphere... it'd probably rain Miracle-Gro or something... ewwww, monster piss!) and the doc is shot by the Arab spy. But, justice is swift, as the Arab is evaporated by one of the artificial lightning mines. Wahoo! However, we're not quite done yet, because Godzilla's immune system has beaten the bacteria! But, he just wanders back to the ocean to take a nap... hope Ebirah wasn't squatting in his undersea lair while he was stuck in that volcano. I didn't really like this ending. I mean, Godzilla heals himself from a near fatal ass beating, and he's not angry and hungry for revenge, but simply tired... Also, the main problem of this movie was the lack of good monster-on-monster action. Don't get me wrong, the might fights had great atmosphere, but there just wasn't enough fighting! Plus, the music was way too JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. Finally, Biollante's tentacles gave me bad flashbacks of RETURN OF THE ALIEN'S DEADLY SPAWN! But, other than these problems, this is definitely a good way to get Godzilla back to the "Godzilla vs. ________" roots of his 60's - 70's counterpart! Also kids, take note from this movie: you should always eat your vegetables. Cuz they'd eat you if given half the chance!

Sequels: GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH, GODZILLA AND MOTHRA: BATTLE FOR THE EARTH, GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II, GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA, GODZILLA VS. DESTROYAH

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: GAMERA: ATTACK OF THE LEGION or GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER