First things first, there are 3 kinds of people in the world. There's the people who saw Rocky Horror, loved it, and worship it. Secondly, there's the people who saw the first 20 minutes of it, then shut it off because the thought of guys in women's underwear scared them or violated their conservative beliefs. Finally, there's the ones who have never seen, nor even heard of the thing. If you are one of the first, I say welcome! If you are one of the second, I suggest seeing a psychiatrist about your fear/hatred of others. And, if you're one of the third, then beware, cuz ROCKY HORROR is a fucked up cult-like phenomenon that you're gonna need an open mind for! Firstly, the movie opened in 1975, failing miserably at the box office. But, where as other failures like CATS DON'T DANCE just fade off into total obscurity, ROCKY HORROR has earned a very solid fan base, spanning generations! If you're lucky and live in an area of decent population, you should be able to find a theater that shows the movie every Saturday at midnight! But, again, be warned, because the people who go to these things are usually insane cross dressers! Recently celebrating it's 25th anniversary, ROCKY HORROR's following still swells and shows no sign of losing it's antici...... pation.

As for the content of the flick itself, cults activities aside, it stars the devious Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter (a scientist); the mildly arousing Susan Surandon as Janet Weis (a heroine); the human punch line Barry Bostwick as Brad Majors (a hero); one of my second string heroes, Richard O'Brien as Riff Raff (a handyman); and, brace yourself, Meatloaf as Eddie (ex-delivery boy)! Yep, before he was a Bat of Out of Hell 2, he was one of Dr. Frank's fat man lovers! The story follows our newly engaged dork couple of Brad and Janet, as they get stranded with a flat tire in the rain one night, and seek refuge at an old mansion called "the Frankenstein Place". They walk in just in time to see a group of 20-or-so oddly dressed party go-ers along with our new friends Riff Raff, Magenta, and Columbia as they do the now classic "Time Warp" dance! After the show, they bump into their host: the tall, dark, and underdressed Dr. Frank-N-Furter, decked out in women's lingerie and looking really vampire-like. After he sings his little "Sweet Transvestite" solo, he has his helpers strip down Brad and Janet so they won't be so overdressed, then he takes them up to his lab, where he reveals to everyone "what's on the slab". It's his latest experiment: a big buff tanned guy named Rocky. Rocky is meant to be the dicktor, errr, "doctor"s perfect man: a tall blonde beefcake who lives solely to fulfill the doc's fetishes. But, Rocky's a tad hesitant on the whole "gay love slave" idea, when suddenly the doc's ex-boytoy Eddie (Mr. Loaf) breaks out of a freezer and sings HIS solo, "Sweet Patootie" while riding his motorcycle around the lab. He is then killed AGAIN by Dr. F, who takes a pick-axe to him, much to Columbia's chagrin (Dr. F's not Eddie's only ex). The party then breaks up, as everyone retreats to their separate rooms. Both Brad AND Janet get a taste of the not-so-good doctor's forbidden fruit, as elsewhere, Riffy plays out the whole "Igor torments the monster" scene, ending when Rocky breaks from his chains and escapes into the night, to be hunted by dogs. His torment ends however, when he makes his way back into the lab, then into the waiting Janet, who's quite the slut for a being a good little virgin! This is known as the "Touch-a Touch Touch Touch Me" part. But, Rocky, Brad and the others walk in on the hijinx, along with the newly arrived Dr. Everett Scott: Brad and Janet's old professor and the departed Eddie's uncle! The confusion and accusations are halted however, so that everyone may partake of dinner! The blue plate special? Well, after Dr. Scott's solo, we find that they're having Meatloaf! I mean, Eddie! Franky then goes loony and makes a total hot dog of himself, as he turns everyone into nude statues via the Medusa machine. Dr. F and friends then take everyone into his little indoor theater, where he dresses them in drag and makes them flesh again, so they can have a grand finale floor show and grope each other in a swimming pool! Nothing scarier/funnier than Barry Bostwick in drag! The fun is interrupted however, as the fed up and incestual Riff Raff and Magenta decide it's time to get off this Island Earth (haha) and go back to their home planet of Transsexual in the Transylvania galaxy. As for Dr. F, they plan on leaving him on Earth, "in spirit anyway". Yep, Riffy uses his anti-matter gun to zap Rocky and Columbia, killing both before turning the gun on the distraught Rocky to make it a triple play. Then, kicking out our heroes, Riffy and Mag, in their spiffy new golden oven mitt outfits, launch the mansion back to Transsexual, leaving our heroes vastly warped after their odd night of sexual exploration. Granted, there were sometimes when this movie didn't seem to make any sense, but when you look at a weird motherfucker like Richard O'Brien, you have to wonder if maybe it was MEANT to be that way! Tim Curry provides probably the best performance of his career and O'Brien shows off his many talents as he not only plays Riff Raff, but also directors, writes, and scores the music for the whole thing, adapted from the stage play, which he ALSO fathered! The funniest thing though, is the aftermath of the guy who played Rocky: the distraught forgein male model (whose songs were all dubbed in someone else's voice) went into seclusion soon after, disturbed and ashamed that he played a transvestite's bride! Hahahahahaha! If nothing else though, at least I now know my fantasy home" the Frankenstein mansion! Complete with laboratory, "Birth of Man" swimming pool, RKO backdrop, and the final touch: the Zen room! If you ever get the chance to attend this flick at a midnight matinee, do so! You will not leave the same person you had entered as!

DVD X-tras: This is a listing for the big fat 25th Anniversary double disc mother load of a DVD! On our first disc is the movie itself, in all it's glory, restored to picture perfect, uhm, perfection. There are two version: the UK and US versions (don't ask me what the difference is), and on either one you can activate a multitude of different audio tracks! These include a commentary track by Riffy and Mag themselves: Richard O'Brien and Patricia Quinn! There's also a crowd participation track where we get to hear an actually Rocky Horror audience do their standard, now script-like heckling of the movie (though the volume's so off that you can hardly hear the people, making this track useless). In addition, there's a subtitled track in case you wanted to do your own little audience participation (i.e. the toilet paper throwing, lighters, etc.) and a track that lets you flip back and forth at times, from the movie itself to the stage show performed at one of the midnight matinees. Then, if you're feeling particularly drugged up on a Tuesday night, put the Spanish subtitles on and try singing along with "the Time Warp" en Espanol! Also, to cap it off is the awesome animated menu, complete with giant talking lips and severed legs! Score one for Fox DVD!
Disc 2 sports the supplemental stuff, including 2 deleted scenes (neither one is very important or entertaining, so it's best that they cut these out), outtake reels, 2 theatrical trailers, 2 endings that are supposedly different in some way, a stills gallery, sing-along karaoke versions of "Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me" and "Sweet Transvestite" for all you Japanese businessmen wasted on Saki; excerpts from the VH1 specials, including Richard O'Brien giving us a tour of the house used for the Frankenstein manor and the "Pop Up Video" version of the "Sweet Patootie" scene/video; and finally, to wrap it all up, they have the tasty little cult documentary, "Rocky Horror Double Feature Video Show", that covers the movie's cult following, as well as scenes from conventions and reunions! Shit, that's a LOT of crossdressing!

Sequels: well, SHOCK TREATMENT was something like a sequel, even though it sucked transvestite nipples.

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: again, just try to get your ass to a theatrical showing complete with stage show and audience participation! What else ya gonna do on a Saturday night at 12am?