Yep, the wormies are back, this time minus the last film's minimal star power (namely Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire), but with only a slight hit to it's entertainment value. Actually, it's a real shock how good this movie is, considering the bastards at Universal Studios knocked it out as a D-t-V flick! This kinda shit beats down all the other D-t-V crap that's come out in recent years, such as RETRO-PUPPET MASTER, KILLJOY, PRISON OF THE DEAD, and all the NON-Full Moon releases, like OCTOPUS and JACK FROST 2. TREMORS 2 brings back those lovable little subterranean slugs the Graboids (I still hate that name) who are now causing trouble for the owner of a Mexican oil field, as they've been chomping on the guy's employees like big fleshy burritos! So, where do you go when you need Graboids exterminated and Kevin Bacon is too busy making SLEEPERS to help out? Go to the other Graboid slayer: good ol' reliable Earl Basset. Earl, you'll remember, is the first film's hero who got the short end of the stick on the whole Graboid phenom that followed the incident. While Val got the girl and they got all the fame and notariety, Earl got a trailer, a newspaper clipping, and a brokendown "Graboids" arcade machine... wait, Earl got an arcade game and he's complaining?! The role of Earl is reprised by Fred Ward, who lovers of tasteless comedy (such as myself) will remember from his parts in ROAD TRIP, THE NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT, and Tomb favorite CAST A DEADLY SPELL!

So, the Mexican oil baron seeks out Earl, who's still living in PLeasant Valley, the proverbial needle of the haystack that is Nevada, in his run down trailer, unloved and financially devoid, just wastin' his life away. Oh, and he's hacked off his wacky beard and grown his kooky hair out... ok, so they were neither wacky or kooky to begin with, but does that matter? No. Earl reluctantly accepts the job, giving him his big second chance at fame. Oh, and there's also the $50,000 bounty for each work he wastes, which would've sealed the deal for me! Hey, I figure my life is worth about as much as a stack of dog food, and I'm talking beefy dog food with chunks of processed beef flavored byproducts, I'm talking the really cheap-o shit that hobos eat, the kind that's 76% ash. My point is, I'm pathetic and worthless, no one loves me, and I'm only a burden on society, so yeah, I'd put my sorry ass out for Graboid bait if it meant $50,000 a head! Along to fill in the slack left by Val's absence is Grady. Grady is one of those really pathetic college guys who sit around all day online trying to impress chicks with his knowledge of Graboids. Of course, when he mentions the word "Graboid", the women simply "lol" at him and put him on "ignore", forever dooming him to pay $39.62/month for his masturbatory needs... Uhm, like I said, Grady's a sad sad young man and knows a lot about the shit that happened in TREMORS.

So, Earl and Grady (Earl Gray? Is it tea time already?) go out and nail as many of the Grabbers as they can. Before long though, they find their enemies far outnumber them, so Earl calls in an old pal and Graboid slayer, Bert, also reprised by Micheal Gross from TREMORS. Yes everyone, the man who, as Earl says it best, puts, "a whole new shine on the word 'overkill'"! That wacky survivalist in the Falcons hat comes down to Mexico to do what he does best: blow shit up. Bringing military grade boom toys and some heavy duty transportation, Earl hopes to collect on some worm bounty and get his mind off his beloved ex-wife (who's probably pursuing a career in country music) who divorced him because she lost interest in the life of a survivalist. Damn psychiatrists, always turning wives against their husbands. Meanwhile, Earl's new girlfriend Kate, a paleontologist the oil baron brought in to lend some brain power to his hunting party, makes a startling discovery that the Grabs are in fact the oldest multi-cellular organisms known to Earth... which finally puts to rest all the bullshit about them being aliens or governmental bio-weapons gone wrong. Speaking of these ancient beasts, they've not only learned to resist their addiction to lashing out at moving objects, but one captured by our boys (it's $100,000 for a live capture) leads to a startling discovery of pants shitting proportions: the worms are just the beginning.

Like winged insects, it turns out that the worms are just the larval stage (like a maggot is the first stage of a fly). After the worms have eaten enough Graboid Chow, they crack open and their next stage crawls out... yes, crawls. The second level beasts (who can no longer be called "Graboids" by my logic... thank you Godz) have legs. They're bigger than a Great Dane (the kings of the animal porn world), have two legs, travel ABOVE ground, and have wicked good hearing. In other words, it's a whole new safari! Oddly enough, they still don't have any eyes, yet they know exactly what and where to hit, such as vehicles and radio towers, cutting off communication outside of the area and leaving the guys empty handed transport wise. The dictionary has a term for this, I believe it's under "seriously fucked". But, the always violent, always sharp as a baseball Bert captures one of these new boogers for a P.O.W., allowing our friends a chance to study it. Bert of all people is the one who discovers that the beasties use infra red heat vision to see their dinner, via little attenae feely-bobs on their heads. A whole family of these new monsters arrive on the scene, chasing our heroes up an oil tower, where, if they don't figure out some kind of plan, they're gonna be stuck in and forced to eat each other ALIVE style. Looks like they won't have to wait long to die though, as the creatures learn to stack like a family of Bulgarian circus performers, allowing them to rise to proper heights to nip at the good guys' heels!

Bert though, always the champion of strategy and plans that put his ass in mortal danger, gets the creatures' attention, suckering them into a trap and barricading them in a nearby warehouse... that is FULL of food. So, now the creepies are just gonna scarf down enough chow to multiply like rabbits on Viagra, packing the warehouse so tight that they'll just bust the doors of their hinges and swarm out over the good guys like an ocean of really big mouths and flesh hungry jaws. Fortunately though, the warehouse is also the stockade for Bert's supply of high explosives. Like the Churchlady would say in her ear drum shredding voice that buries it's steely talons into my very subconcious brain, "how conveeeeeeenient". Bert, beating Grady in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors (just like he used to play with his old pal Val, before he left Bert for a woman and money), carries out a plan of being covered in fire extinguisher jizz, thereby blocking his body heat from the monsters' sensors and allowing him to sneak in, set the explosives, and escape with enough time to hide someplace and watch the fireworks. The plan goes almost without a hitch, but that's expected, since a perfect plan would mean no humor or suspense. All the beasts are reduced to a rain of guts and goo, our heroes live happily ever after, and Grady's left to babble something to himself about a Graboid theme park... hey, that reminds me, since their taco demolishing benefactor was at one point eaten by the new wave Grabbers, everyone's screwed on the financial front! All that struggle and endangerment of life for nothing! Well, not for nothing, as we the audience were left pretty well entertained.

The original TREMORS was great, beccause it harkened back to the giant monster flicks of the old skool daze. It flashed us some of the sweetest monster FX pre-CGI that any other flick had ever put out! The mix of comedy and horror was great, and the acting was delivered perfectly, as everyone knew how to play the role of (VERY) small town hicks battling creatures far beyond their grasp, yet managing to pull out victoriious in the Darwinian conflict. In other words kids, they kicked some fucking giant worm asses and were good humored about it all, just like the ice cream. TREMORS 2 though, it incorporated CGI into the story to cover the legged evolved Grabs. Don't get me wrong, it was excellent CGI work, especially for a D-t-V flick from '96, which is no surprise, since one of the guys involved worked on JURASSIC PARK. The lack of Kevin Bacon allowed Fred Ward to take center stage, which he shows he does very well, but he's more suited to a buddy team. As for Grady, well, he's not the kind of buddy for Earl. He's too young and naive in the ways of the world, and his college kid vibe just throws the chemistry off track. Micheal Gross was deffinately overkill as before, which is great, but again, he needs his "better helf" to get the full effect. Though, concerning his character Bert, you have to love the big Graboid trophy on his fallout shelter wall! Oh man, I need to get one of those for the Tomb. All in all, it's better than most sequels and I can't emphasize enough about the fact that it really kicks ass for a fucking Direct-to-Video pic. However, after about the 70th time hearing the word "Graboid", I get really pissed, because it's such a fucking STUPID name! They didn't say it half as much in the first movie, so why so much damn emphasis on it now?! Oh well, when in doubt, fuck it. Now, to sit back and await the third TREMORS flick, may it be atleast as good as the second, if not the first.

Sequels: TREMORS 3: BACK TO PERFECTION

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: CAST A DEADLY SPELL or SCREAMERS