The Ziv Chronicles - Part 2
Han (mocking Lex): I'm from the West Coast. I smoke crack and eat organic foods!
1/15/01
The N64 Legend of Zelda: Have you ever met a boy named Han?
1/19/01
Eric H. (after dumping 'interesting' powder down his pants on a dare): It's like a party in my pants and everybody's invited!
1/19/01
Eric H.: I'm minty fresh now, but not in the right place!
1/19/01
Heatha: I don't want to change my nose.
1/21/01
Barry: Oh good. Now that Han has scraped all the snow off of the bumper she'll be able to see.
1/22/01
Deb: One time I took all of my clothes off in my sleep.
Heatha: Me too, only I put them in the toilet.
1/23/01
Heatha (as we sat bored/procrastinating in the cafeteria after dinner): Let's go do something we shouldn't do.
1/30/01
Han: Guys, if I dropped dead right now would you come to my funeral?
Lex: Would it be catered?
2/1/01
Lex (in the cafeteria): Gonna check the guacamole situation. Gonna check the guacamole situation.
Han: Gonna check Lex's crack level. Gonna check Lex's crack level.
2/1/01
Barry: My fingers are not working properly.
2/3/01
Heatha: Did you not taste the pepper I put on your ice cream?
2/3/01
Ira (to Lex who he had just met): Are all Californians crazy?
2/3/01
Lex: I was not expecting the flavor I got in my mouth when I put my mouth on that!
2/5/01
Barry (with his sweat pants sagging due to a prior snowball fight): If I get any more ghetto, I'm gonna trip and fall.
2/5/01
Note on Han's message board from Heatha: Hannie, I came to visit you and show you my pictures but you aren't here and I'm getting high off of this pen. Love you!
2/5/01
Eric N.: New Jersey got two inches of snow.
Barry: That'll almost cover all the garbage on the ground.
2/8/01
Eric H. (in response to watching Ally McBeal get mad at her boyfriend for something he had done in her dream): That is SO typical! A guy getting blamed for something he didn't even do!
2/14/01
Han: AAWWWW, that's SO cute!!! He gave you a dozen red roses!!! Too bad you don't like him.
2/14/01
Lex: I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm just making a thing.
2/16/01
Karina (on her 21st birthday): That SO wasn't just iced tea. You lie! You're like a male player!
2/16/01
Karina: You're blurry, but you're still hot.
3/23/01
Eric H.'s friend: They increased the price of their chicken wings 100%! (from 10¢ each to 20¢ each)
3/23/01
Eric H.: According to my phone, we have nothing to do tomorrow.
3/23/01
Lex: Earlier he was imitating Fran Drescher, I don't think he should be breaking boards now.
3/24/01
Deb (in reference to Karina and 'friend'): Apparently, they went into the bathroom together to exchange business cards.
3/24/01
Karina: I know about pain in the boobs.
3/24/01
Karina: I had my mack groove on.
3/24/01
Karina: He was flirting with 'woof woof' girl.
3/24/01
Karina: She looked like she wasn't wearing a bra. And she was wearing this BRIGHT pink shirt and through it you could see her boobs go boing-a-boing-a-boing-a-boing. And they would move in different tempos depending on the beat of the song that was playing.
3/24/01
Karina: If boobs could percuss.
3/24/01
Han: So balls in space are different than balls on Earth?
Karina: Yes, they expand.
3/24/01
Lex: Somebody needs to go to bed and her name begins with 'H' and ends with 'n' and there are three letters involved.
Han (on "miracle" cough syrup): Is it Hen?
3/24/01
Lex: Oh my God! I looked in my doorway and I saw projectile clucking Han!
3/25/01
Han: Lex, your pants are falling down.
Lex: Yeah, gravity happens.
3/25/01
Han: BEMCo 316 to BEMCo primary. Spank me rotten.
3/31/01
Karina: I didn't have a fish anymore... it jumped out of my bowl and I stepped on it.
4/1/01
Han (while jumping to peer into various first floor windows): Are they hooking up? ... Are they hooking up?
4/1/01
Deb: It's 1am, it's time for us to act stupid!
4/1/01
Han (in a completely serious voice):I put Karina's menstrual needs in the basketball hoop.
4/6/01
Han (refering to the guy-factory): The factory is defective, that's why you need quality control.
4/7/01
Eric H.: Wait, weren't you guys commenting on how cute Moses is?
4/8/01
Han: What the hell is Passover about?
Josh G.: It's like 'yay we're not slaves anymore.'
4/9/01
Lex (on Spring Break): My brain is too OK.
4/22/01
Lex (to Karina who was standing at her computer by the window with the shade up wearing only her underwear): You've got guts girl!
Karina: 'Cause I'm checking my e-mail?
4/23/01
Deb: Chuck E. Cheese is Han's type!
4/30/01
Han: I will NOT be upstaged by Britney Spears!
5/4/01
Becky (upon entering the movie theater): The salt shaker in this place is really ghetto... I have a picture of it actually.
5/4/01
Deb: Sometimes I feel like a brother to him.
5/6/01
Deb: I'm warped because sometimes when things get wet they bend over time.
5/6/01
Han: I'm a little s*!t. That's me in a nutshell.
5/6/01
Deb: Word up grandma!
5/6/01
Lex: He's like the boing chika to her bow woing
5/9/01
Jonah: If I was in prison I'd SO be somebody's bitch.
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