June 2000 journal entries

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June 27, 2000

Wow! Once again, I have been soo busy the weeks just flew by, and I knew I just had to get a post up before I go for another weigh-in in just 2 days!! As you all know I have really been struggling to stay on top of my weightloss for the last couple months. I had a 2 pound gain a couple weeks ago, the following week I did pretty well and did a moderately good job being "on program" , however, thanks to nature I was retaining some water and ended up with another half pound gain. My total loss has dropped below 80 for a total off of 79 pounds.  I have done really well this week -- I have only gone over by a few points, nothing that I can't make up for in 2 days - but considering that I had a bbq birthday party for hubby that included cake and icecream, a baseball game that included a "monster dog" (10 weight watcher points BEFORE the bun, and "only" 32 grams of fat!!) and a nice dinner out, all in the last 3 days, I feel I have really done a great job. I am looking forward to weighing in this week, I feel that I am getting back on the right track. 

When we look at children, we understand that they pretty much see things in a black and white way. Either it is good or it is bad.  Either it is right or it is wrong.  As children grow and mature they develop that ability to see the gray area.  The knowledge that there are varying degrees of goodness and badness, circumstances that may change right and wrong and create a range of areas in between.  We understand that this is normal for kids to view the world that way and we nurture them and help to mature as they grow.  I realized today that this is no different with us as we learn to live healthier lives.  When I started out, food was either good or bad. I was either "on program" or "off program".  If I ate something "bad" I might as well just pig out the rest of the day, since I was "off program" at that point.  What I am leading to is that we are all at a different point in our journey.  Some of us are "small children" who see things as black and white.  Some of us are able to see the gray areas now.  Some us (like me) can see the gray, but still slip from time to time into that black and white world.   There are an endless amount of things we can learn from each other and support we can offer each other that others who haven't struggled with their weight cannot. Not because they don't want to but because they have not walked in these shoes.  Because it never occured to them that a particular food could be evil, or gone through the process of learning that it isn't "black" just "gray". My message board is still present, however I understand that it has been acting up and not always available. I will leave it in place and try to find another that may not offer as many problems. I am still searching for a free chat room feature that I can use without downloading, but by linking to it. If you know of either please let me know! Have a good day!  Chel

June 9, 2000

Hi there! Sorry that I never got a post up last week! I have been so busy! To update you, I stayed the same on my first weigh in, and on this weigh in I lost 1 pound.  I am pretty much still in the same place I was about 8 weeks ago, which to tell the truth is starting to get a little old, but I keep trying!  I know that I will eventually get there, even if it takes another year!

I would really like to make a journal entry of all of YOUR favorite wieghtloss tips  and motivational or inspirational sayings-- but I have to convince you all to send them to me first! Please send them to me! There are lots of you on the update list - so I hope to hear from you soon!

This next week I will be focusing on forgiveness.  I still need to learn to forgive myself when I mess up and get back on track.  I try to kill myself making up for it, and then I end up saying I can't do this and punishing myself for it by gorging.  No more. I will do the best I can, and when I am less than perfect, I will forgive myself and move forward.  I urge any of you who face this same struggle to do the same!

Until next week please take care and PLEASE send me your tips and motivational sayings!
Also please see my page of links, there are 3 great new web pages listed.  The recipe page has 2 recipes - just follow the link to page 2!

Chel

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