is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity.
~Henry Van Dyke~
last time I was inside a woman was when I was
inside the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen (Crimes and Misdemeanors, 1989)
girl's legs are her best friends, but the best
of friends must part.
-- Redd Foxx (from Comedy Album - Huffin and Puffin)
you know alcohol kills brain cells...any damn
brain cell that
can't live through a good drunk deserves to die.
You're doing yourself a
favor, getting rid of all them nonhacking, underachieving
ones. I'm working
on improving your efficiency.
--James Webb (A Country Such As This
when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I
Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. Then I say to
myself, "It is better that I drink this beer
and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver."
---by Jack Handy
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to