| The Monday Crazies |
| 08/25/03: Hubris strikes again! I was all proud of myself because last week I processed two files, then, unexpectedly, it looked like both of them were going to fund this month (instead of sit on my desk for a couple weeks waiting for subordinations). I was really excited about adding my little productivity to the team. However, today I learned that one of them is cancelling (out of the gosh darn blue) and the other one didn't sign the final papers (which means it won't fund in August). BOO FOR ME. 100% fallout--is that incredible or what? In other news: on Sunday, after working a few hours, I went shopping. It turned into a shopping spree of sorts--a spree at Target and a free spree at B&N. I'll explain. I went to the former for just a couple things--a cheap file storage thing, inexpensive picture frames for my cool Euro photos. I got those plus a couple other random things, then I decided to check out the clothes. See, I've never really had any luck with stores like Target for clothes shopping, and clothes in general (especially pants) just don't fit me well. I have actually come to loathe clothes shopping because it just depresses me--either my ass and hips are too big, or my waist isn't small enough. Shirts are usually too tight for work or boxy and unflattering. Imagine how pleased I was to find two pairs of nice slacks that fit nicely and were not breath-inhibitive, plus two grown-up shirts, and this awesome burgundy corduroy pea coat. It was like school shopping, which I've never done properly. I figure that spending that amount of money was good for several reasons: it was like all my shopping attempts for the past two or three years were finally 'avenged' so to speak; each item was relatively cheap--all under or right near $20 and the most expensive item (the coat) was only $30. In trying to overcome my extreme frugality, that seems like a pretty damn good deal, don't you think? 09/06/03: The faucet has turned off in the mortgage industry. The light at the end of the tunnel is close; no one's sure if it means we're all clear or we're in danger from that stupid oncoming train (which this time means that no one knows how long we'll all have jobs). The repercussions are apparent everywhere. Appraisals used to take 3-4 weeks to complete because the appraisers were so back-logged with orders...just in the past week a good number of orders were finished in less than seven days. Our office is still really busy catching up, but the boss made it clear that things will change from now on. My little life as an assistant blew up this week; the teams were rearranged a little, and now I have huge pile of files to work on. The week was kind of tough, because of all the changes, but next week I better get it together. Another boring weekend. Last night I played Bunko and it was a lot of fun. I'll go in to work on Sunday afternoon. I have an hour's worth of files to build at home. Some more laundry to do at my mom's house. I might pass out from all this excitement. |
| 09/28/03: This crazy month is almost over. I shall be glad. Last weekend I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity, at their Snoqualmie Ridge site. The task for the day was bringing some houses up to code. Most of the things that needed to be done were in attics and crawl spaces. I worked in both, and worked up quite a sweat. I LOVED it. I loved doing something with my hands, I loved doing something that got tangible results, I loved doing something that really physically mattered. There was a brand-new team of AmeriCorps people there, a couple of whom had already done NCCC. It was fabulous to talk to them, but I was sad to not have time to get all their stories. That's my favorite thing about AmeriCorps, talking to the members, finding out where they come from, what they've done, what their general experience of life has been. People are cool. I am planning to continue volunteering, with Seattle Works and now with Habitat. There is a site in Redmond where I hope to work in October. I just re-read Succulent Wild Woman by Sark. I really enjoy her work, it inspires me. I have been feeling spiritually empty, so it was wonderful to read that. Because of that, I decided to use this afternoon for a mini adventure. I headed out on the freeway, thinking about going to Mount St Helens. Then I saw the exit for Aberdeen and Ocean Beaches, and I haven't ever been there, so I decided to go that way instead. It was so pretty, just driving on the highway, there were evergreen trees everywhere and a big blue sky overhead. I got into Aberdeen, took some turns, drove around, and then I ended up going to Ocean Shores. I parked by a little mall and ate at a diner. The chocolate milk shake was yummy. Then I went to the beachfront. It was populated with clam-diggers and kite-flyers. It was cloudy and windy and loud and wonderful. Being there reminded me of previous good times at Lincoln City and at Cape Cod. I walked down the beach, relaxed on some driftwood, watched a baby seagull scurry across the sand. It really wasn't an objectively exciting trip, but I enjoyed it all the same. Then I got back in the car to drive home, in plenty of time to catch the premiere of Alias. Yesterday Stacey and I finally hosted a get-together at our apartment. We had drinks and games, and Jaime Doll joined us, who most of us hadn't seen since the early college years. It was a good time. The mojitos were the unofficial stars of the evening! Also, happy birthday to the September Fire 4 babies, Ashley, Jep, and Brodie, and best of luck to Lesley, who is off to a big ol' adventure in Tanzania with the Peace Corps. |
| 10/01/03: I hope Friday gets here soon. Once again, I am dealing with a crisis of conflict of interest. I enjoy my job, I love earning money and being independent, but I feel like I'm just biding my time here until I can get a job that fulfills me. Is that bad? Or is that normal? I feel like a sellout, and I'm afraid that I will get stuck in this job for too long and keep putting off things things that are truly important to me. So for my own peace of mind, herewith find my personal pledge of my future: I shall take some kind of trip in December. I shall take a big trip in the spring, unless I have to save that for the Operation Muscle weekend, whenever that may be. I shall continue volunteering, at least once a month. I will concentrate more on my own well-being and personal growth, rather than stressing about work and/or working too much overtime. I will take time to rest, to renew, to recenter myself, if you will. I will. |