*Boring political stuff brings LEIA ORGANA SOLO to a backwater world overrun by weird bug-people*
LEIA: Ew.
HUTT JEDI: Check me out. I'm a Hutt AND a Jedi. Betcha never saw that befo- *gets killed by Leia*
Evil Bug Guy: Mwahahaha! I shall take over the galaxy with my bug-pow- *gets killed by Leia*
*Somwhere else, LUKE SKYWALKER searches for his lost love, CALLISTA*
LUKE: Callista! Come back to me! You have to! I'm desperate and whiny!
WRITERS: Oh, yeah...Eh, sorry, Luke, we just decided to hook you up with Mara Jade instead. You can go home now.
HAN: I know I was doing something during this story, but I can't remember what. Oh, well. I'm going to get drunk.
READERS: Me, too.
THE END
Shatterpoint - courtesy of OutlawYoda
Mace: I am haunted by the Jango fight, because I could see his shatterpoint. Booya!
Depa: Mace, like, help me, I've gone mad. What's happened to me is much worse. I'm dark-sidey now.
Mace: I am the bad-ass mutha****** in the universe. I will save you.
*Mace arrives on Haruun Kal*
Journal: Journal happy fun time! Read Mace's thoughts on a Jedi Temple recorder!
Guards In Shower Room: Watch us be stupid and not realize we're messing with the bad-ass mutha ****** in the universe. *Both fall down on the ground* D'oh!
*Mace gets led into a trap*
Mace: How original!
*He meets Nick and other people who live in the jungles*
Nick: Fraggin this, fraggin that! Fraggin fraggin fraggin fraggin...
Readers: This place is more alive and dark than the rest of the Star Wars universe, but not really.
Mace: *more mental struggles and thoughts of Depa* I hate this place.
*Mace kicks the crap out of more people but then meets his match, who has his girl*
Vastor: Yo.
*They fight endlessly; Vastor almost kills Mace*
Mace: OMG, I give up, but not really. I'm clever.
Depa: Uh-oh!
Vastor: At first, I bought it, but now I don't. Grrr!
*They get separated...*
*Cue more action...*
*They fight again*
*explosions everywhere, chaos*
Clones: *singing* Here we come to save the day!
Mace: About time! You guys disappeared for most of the story! What took you so long?!
Clones: Um, hello... Trade Federation!
Mace: Ah. *secures justice*
The End
Epilogue:
Mace: *turns on his journal* Again, I must say it: I am one bad mutha. Peace!
Cloak of Deception - courtesy of Lord_Hydronium
NUTE GUNRAY: I'm greedy.
SIDIOUS: I'm evil.
COHL: I'm morally ambiguous.
HAVAC: I'm mysterious.
PALPATINE: I'm a nice guy.
(Lots of POLITICS happen)
JORUS C'BAOTH: I'm a cameo.
RELLA: I'm out of here.
(Lots of INTRIGUE happens)
QUI-GON: I'm smarter than Cohl.
OBI-WAN: I'm confused.
(A tiny bit of ACTION happens)
TRADE FEDERATION DIRECTORATE MEMBER: I'm dead.
VALORUM: I'm screwed.
the end
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