Jacen: Ow. This hurts.
Vergere: So? Not my problem.
Jacen: Ow. The Embrace of Pain sucks.
Vergere: Oh, you poor thing! Come down, and let mommy give you a hug!
Jacen: *moans in agony*
Vergere: See all those guys? They're all at your mercy. You have the Force.
Jacen: Dude, I just had an epiphany! Maybe it's this crack I'm smoking, but I can sense the Vong in the Force now! Kick ass!
Vergere: Good. Now kill stuff.
Ganner: Jacen?
Jacen: Wow, you're stupid. And you will die.
Ganner: That sucks. What do I do?
Ganner: NONE SHALL PASS!
*Peter Jackson sues*
*Ganner dies*
the end
the super-ultra mega-condensed version of Traitor - courtesy of magehound
Jacen is captured.(Oh, Vergere, you wily rascal! How could you?)
Jacen is tortured.(Hey, I've suddenly livened up and have a whole new doctrine of the Force! And now I laugh at pain! Ha ha ha!)
Jacen breaks free. (Ganner dies.)
Jacen comes home (toting a partridge in a pear tree for Uncle Luke).
End
Cloak of Deception - courtesy of Kwenn
Qui-Gon: I'm gonna track down some pirate guy for no good reason. So yeah, screw you, Yoda. I'm a maverick Jedi!
Palpatine: Intrigue!
Arwen Cohl: I'm a decent bloke caught up in the seedy underworld. Hey, let's kill stuff, but ironically.
The Senate: Suspense!
Vergere and Jorus C'Baoth: Howdy.
Sidious: Droids, kill those dudes.
*Droids kill dudes*
Nute Gunray: I'm not dead! Now I get a pointy hat! Koovy!
Arwen Cohl: I am dead, but I have been redeemed for my past actions.
Qui-Gon: Well, that didn't quite work out. So screw you, Yoda, for imposing your conformist rules on my free spirit!
The Senate: Look, Valorum's been arrested! Obviously, he's too incompetent to lead the Senate. Let's support that guy over there cowering in the shadows.
Palpatine: Awesome.
The End
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