You find people sleeping in easy chairs to be REALLY irritating
All you can think of, when staying at a motel, is how surprised people will be to receive those little soaps this Christmas
You can say the word “conniption” in normal conversation. Bonus points if you can use “infarction” too. TRIPLE bonus points if you can work Greg’s driving abilities and these two words into one sentence.
You believe that having a dog and 5 cats to be a “good start”
You have a complete collection of medicine dated from the end of World War II
Your phone bill, on a monthly basis, exceeds the gross national product of most third world nations
You are driving, for the 3rd time, to the store on Thanksgiving for one last forgotten item. You forget what it is.
You begin losing your eyebrows. Funny, it all started after Dale showed you how to light charcoal with Paint Thinner.
The term “meat and potatoes” is replaced with “wine and chocolate”
Jackie quits putting your ass on the outside of all of the pictures
You understand the difference between “cheap” and “good” chocolate, but you’ll eat both in a pinch.
You consider popcorn to be a meal. You claim that it said “gourmet on the damn package”, right?
When you look at Cascade Shade’s workroom you don’t think of the following words: “ILLEGAL SWEAT SHOP”
You hear the phrase, "You can tell a norwegian, but you can't tell em much" and you really, truly know what that person was talking about.
You realize that the only thing that can actually travel faster than light is a piece of good gossip.
You regard "Freezer Burn" is an allowable method of pre-cooking meat.
(printed magazine/newspaper)