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| Sunday, April 28, 2002 I like this background. It reminds me of Winne the Pooh. Who named Winnie the Pooh? I mean, what a weird name. I hate waking up early for church on Sunday. For those of you that are wondering, I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon). My dad, my 8-year-old brother, my sister, and I had to sing in church. I was so tired I almost started singing a different song. Good thing I caught myself, huh? Then I came home before Sunday School and slept. Naps are great. Everyone should have one. Then when the rest of my family got home we ate dinner and then went over to my grandma's house for my aunt's birthday. My cousin has also just returned from his mission in Chicago and now he is going to BYU so we visited with him a lot since we haven't seen him for 2 years. My cousin, who is my age, and I decided that they always eat the cake when we're not in the room so we went into the other room and talked to people on instant messaging. Sure enough, they ate the cake without us and then we could go home. When I got home I decided to go and work on that "What I do for Fun" thing my doctor wanted me to do. I wrote the title and tried to think of the last time I had real, sincere fun and I couldn't remember. And when I did remember, it was so long ago that it just made me feel worse. I broke into tears and wondered why I couldn't just be like everyone else. I mean, when did I volunteer to be different?! I went downstairs to the kitchen to have a bowl of cereal and when my mom asked me what was wrong something in me couldn't tell her. I mean, I tell my mom everything. What's up with that? I ended up writing a letter to my friend. He and I tell eachother almost all our problems. It felt good to get it out, but I just wish I could do that by talking instead of having to write everything. I talked to my counselor last Monday. We talked about a lot, but whenever I try to talk about my problems to people all the words that I had in my head to describe how I'm feeling just leave me. It's so frustrating. Well, I guess I'd better go... Katie |
| Monday, April 29. 2002 Today I went back to school finally. I went to Math and Science. Good sleeping classes. :) Actually I enjoy science. Math is just... blah. But, anyways... I really don't see this helping. I mean, yeah, it's shorter days, but I still get a huge work load and no energy to work on it. I am going to end up just having to play "catch up" again. What is this accomplishing? I fought with a lot of people today. I don't know what it was... me against the world or the world against me. Who knows? Later, Katie |
| Tuesday, April 30, 2002 Today, once again, I had no energy. Surprise, surprise! So I dropped up off some homework at school and went up to the salon with my mom because my little brothers and my grandma were getting their haircut. While I was waiting I went tanning and it felt good. But I think I worry to much. I mean, I worry about everything. While I was tanning I was supposed to be relaxing but instead I worried about the glass cracking and me falling onto the hot bulbs and burning myself. Just really, really dumb stuff. Abseloutely everything I can think up. Today I started thinking about what would REALLY help me do better with school. I talked to a few of my friends and debated with myself for awhile and finally decided that I am going to do home hospital school. That way I can still get the work from school but I don't actually have to be there. I hate to leave my friends and stuff, but I really need to focus on me for awhile. If I don't focus on me I'm never even going to have a chance at getting better. I just don't know how I'm going to tell everybody. This summer I am volunteering for a nearby preschool and I also really REALLY want to work or volunteer or something at some horse stables somewhere. I grew up with horses and it's been FOREVER since I've been on one. I'd really love to feed them and brush them and exercise them and stuff. That would be so much fun! You know, I don't think I've ever had so many people concerned with how much fun I'm having. But I did actually have fun today. Sometimes I climb out of my window and sit on my roof at night because it gives me time to think and to relax without interruption. My mom came out there with me today and we were talking about home hospital school and things and when it started getting late we were coming back in through my window and my mom couldn't get in. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even help her get in. Finally my brother came in and helped her. It was hillarious. Maybe you had to be there. :) Bye, Katie |
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| Wednesday, May 1, 2002 Happy May Day. :) Today I didn't really do much but sleep in, work on homework, watch the Discovery Channel, and help babysit my younger siblings. Does anybody remember those Puppy Surprise/Kitty Surprise things? I even remember the jingle. "Puppy Surprise, Puppy Surprise! How many puppies are there inside? There can be 2 or 3 or 4 or 5!..." I got a Kitty Surprise for Christmas once and she had 3 kittens. :) Them were the days. The things you think about when you have the time. haha. I also began patching up the fights I'd started on Monday. I am enjoying lazy days a lot more than I used to. Hafta go, Katie |
| Sunday, June 9, 2002 Wow I haven't written in a really long time! People have been telling me I need to write again so, here I am. I submitted this site to the Yahoo Directory today, hoping to get this site a little more out there so maybe it'll help somebody. I guess they have to look at it before they'll put it on there so hopefully they approve. :) Well I got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday, May 30. They were all in the bone and I was in bed for awhile but at least I got it over with! I'm having some trouble getting my energy level back up but I guess that's just kind of becoming a fact of lfe. My little brother is still on residential treatment but he is finally beginning to show them the behavior that he showed us on a daily basis at home. We got my home hospital thing figured out... now that the school year is OVER! They are just going to take away grades for me for this past term and let me study over the summer so I know what I need to know for next year. I went and hung out with my friends on the last day of school. It was pretty fun to be around then again although they have a hard time understanding when I need to stop for awhile. Guess ya can't blame them they're only human, right? Yesterday I went to my family reunion. What fun! Ha, more like cruel and unusual punishment. ;) My great aunt died this morning and a week or so ago my 2nd cousin (once removed) died so it's been kind of a hard past couple weeks. But at least now it's summer! Later, Katie |
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