[[a very very funny comedian!]]
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I;m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them to. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can old one, and pat it on it's head.
I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curly tooth.
A waffle is a pancake with a syrup trap.
I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought that I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."
I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost it's flavour, I was back to pondering mortality.
Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it though. One day I'm gonna though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.
A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, "Do you have any coke in a glass harmonica? ... Do you have individually wrapped cashews?"
Why are there no during pictures?
Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.