** submitted by MOnkeys04@aol.com **

• One of my favorites: conversation between me and rheumie who had just been
  to the world's leading expert on lyme's seminar!
  "There is no lyme in Vermont." says he.
  "Well, uhm, ah, my friend got bitten in her garden in Burlington," says me.
  "Well, I can guarantee you it wasn't Burlington, Vermont." says he.
  "Well yes, and she pulled the tick off of herself and ended up with some
  serious complications from lyme" says me.
  "Well there are a lot of cute little anecdotal stories like that, aren't there?"
  
  
• Same guy: "I see you have no evidence of lyme" ( after checking off all
  but three of the Burrascano symptoms). "You have no symptoms of lyme. Your knee
  has not swollen." ( and then he reminds my husband and me that he has just been
  to the seminar by the world's leading expert on lyme)
  
  
• " You are having small seizures but the machines are very sensitive so it doesn't matter".
  
  
• "Your blood counts are off so it must be a computer error".
  
  
• "Your spinal elisa taken while you were on antibiotics is negative, therefore you don't
  have lyme despite your other positive blood tests, it is not in the spinal fluid so it is not lyme".
  
• "Everyone gets headaches, they are not significant".
  
  
• "You have blood in your urine ... it is no cause for alarm. Everyone has blood in their urine."
  
  
• "You should get out more".
  
  
• You are healthy as a horse, you just think that you don't feel well".
  
  
• "You just think that you are happy. Most depressed people mask depression with happiness."
  
  
• "THESE THINGS THAT PEOPLE DESCRIBE SOMETIMES TAKE TWO YEARS TO
  PRESENT...
  WE WILL KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE IN TWO YEARS. TESTING IS A WASTE OF TIME
  WHEN WE DON"T KNOW WHAT IT IS".
  
  
• "As I am describing numbness in my face ... he tells me that I am not numb".
  
  
• "You need to crawl out the door, but there is nothing wrong with you".
  
  
• Neuro exam = normal (even though you couldn't sit or stand for the exam much less
  walk across the room on tiptoes).
  
  
• "Did you have a bullseye rash...? (yes)
  "Well what kind of rash was it....?
  ( a bullseye) "Well, if it was not a bullseye, then why would you think that you have lyme?"
  
  
• "You need to stop trying to find out what is wrong with you."
  
  
• "You are not a doctor, you don't know how you feel."

  ---

  **submitted by rcloutier1@home.com **

• ID doctor #1 who was toted by Baltimore Magazine as the best lyme doctor
  in Maryland.
  Gives me 1 week of Doxy and says after a week, "If you'd had lyme,
  you'd be getting better by now."
  

• Doctor says "Did you see the tick that bit you?" after saying they can be as big as a
  sentence period. I pointed to my extremely hairy legs and say, "Doc, I could have an
  anaconda on my leg and not know about it."
  
  
• I'm herxing bigtime with chills, sitting in his office waiting room
  in a t-shirt, sweater and leather jacket shivering. He asks me to sit in the back
  room so that his other patients didn't see me sick. When it's finally my turn to
  be examined, he says without even taking my temp or touching me,
  "You can't have a fever... You'd be shaking more, like this." as he moves his
  shoulders up and down rapidly.
  
  
• His claims: the testing is 95 percent accurate, eye pain is not a symptom of lyme,
  lyme cannot cause vomiting or nausea, 95 percent of lyme patients get a
  bulls-eye rash, and... that he's a doctor.
  
  
• Internist:
  Writes in his notes, "Patient has mult-systemic problems... Must have OCD
  (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)."
  
  
• Accupuncturist:
  "Oh yeah, I've cured a lot of people from their lyme disease... and from
  cancer too."
  How? By killing them with a two foot needle through the chest??
  
  
• Neuro-opthamologist #1:
  "You didn't have a spinal tap? Maybe you just need new glasses then.
  My assistant will give you a presciption."
  
  
• Neuro-opthamologist #3:
  "Lyme is so rare to effect the eyes and so is a virus, so you must have a virus,
  there's nothing we can do for it, it'll go away and you don't need to see me again."
  If A is rare and B is rare, even if you have A all over your body, then you MUST have B.
  Logic??
  
  
  Another great quote:
  "Lyme disease is so rare it really IRRITATES me when doctors think they can specialize
  in that."
  He also says after moving a penlight up and down and side-to-side without even looking
  in my eyes yet, "You don't have optic neuritis."
  
  
• Retinal Specialist:
  Despite 20 non-ocular lyme symptoms, "Your positive western blot only means you've
  been EXPOSED to lyme disease." Another great quote, "You do not have lyme
  disease because I don't see any inflammation in your eye and you don't have uveitis."
  And this is right after he claimed he didn't think lyme could affect the uvea (uveitis).
  Therefore, by that logic, nobody can have lyme disease since it's easily diagnosed
  by evidence of uveitis, which of course, can't be caused by lyme anyway (by his assessment).
  
  
• Opthamologist # 3,4,5,6:
  "Your visual symptoms are normal, you're just noticing them for the first time."
  When he asked me what I was concerned about, to which I responded, "Going blind."
  He said, "Well, that would concern SOME people. And if you don't mind, I have a
  patient waiting for me with a corneal ulcer who might go blind because I'm talking to you."
  When he said on another occasion that my eyeglasses prescription had changed and I
  asked him what should prescription that should be, he said, "You don't NEED new glasses.
  You can live without glasses (I'm very nearsighted), it's just a matter of if you want to see
  clearly or not." Maybe for the general public this guy doesn't NEED his medical license.
  
  
• Urologist #1:
  "What POSSIBLE testicular pain could have conceivably sent you to go to the Emergency
  Room?"
  I REALLY wanted to show him.
  
  
• Urologist #2:
  Over the phone before even seeing him says, "You don't have Epididymidis. You have
  Prostatitis. Stop your current antibiotic and take this other one."
  When I asked him how could he know without even examining me, he responds
  "What, are you deaf?? You have prostatitis."
  
  
• Urologist #3:
  Looking at my handout of lyme symptoms..."These symptoms of lyme disease, ANYONE
  could have all of these (I had 20), even at the same time. It doesn't mean they have
  lyme disease." When I asked him why my testicles hurt and hands go numb, he
  said, "Well, your nerves are confused."
  
  
• Urologist #4:
  Now this guy, I'd love to sue. He diagnosed me with testicular cancer. I asked him if we
  should take an ultrasound of the lump on my testicle to check if it were a cyst or not.
  He said "no, the tip of my finger is more accurate than any ultrasound." Well, it turned
  out to be cysts and my testicle swelled up to four inches by three inches. My lyme symptoms
  DOUBLED as a result of the surgery.
  That's when I started to have eye trouble from my lyme. When I told him that I had lost all
  sensation of needing to urinate, he said "Maybe it's your LYME DISEASE" making
  quote marks in the air with his fingers. "Just make sure you go to the bathroom every two
  hours." He said my testicular pain (prior to the surgery) was just psychological -
  good thing he did as the psychiatrist I went to was the first to believe lyme, saying the
  Urologist was the real one who was nuts, but not in so many words.
  As for the unnecessary surgery, I'm still picking out plastic stitches from my scar 3 months later! - Stitches he claimed were the bio-degradable kind.
  I think urologists act like the subject of their profession.
  
  
• MRI Technician during testicular MRI which vibrates quite a bit On the speaker,
  "We have to do it again...You moved." I responded, "I didn't move my testicles.
  Your MACHINE moved my testicles!"
  
  
• ER Doctor #2:
  "Well, you had a bug bite? I'll have an ELISA test ordered." He then gave me a
  prescription for a week of Prednisone (steroids). I didn't know any better and took
  them. Lawsuit target number two. This guy still sends me a bill for $66.00.
  Over my lyme body, thanks to him.
  
  
• ER doctor #3:
  "So, you think you have lyme, eh? How long have you missed work?
  Having fun with the time off eh?"
  Yeah, I just love spending 11 hours in an Emergency Room feeling like my eye will explode!
  
  Quote #2: "What's a 'herxeimer'? I must have heard of it in Med School."
  This guy wanted to "expose" my LLMD for treating me. I didn't give him my doc's name,
  but should have given him that first ID doctor's name! Two birds with one stone!
  
  
• My LLMD
  Although I really like my LLMD, I've had some funny things happen.
  During my spinal tap I hear my doctor who is performing the procedure say, "Ooops."
  "Ooops? " What do you mean, "Ooops?"
  When I call for my results of my spinal tap, the secretary puts me on hold and comes back to say,
  "The doctor says you have meningitis and you'll get a call later."

*submitted by omni@hiwaay.net *

• There is only one test for Lyme."
• "You are depressed"
• "You are in denial that you are depressed."
• "You need a boyfriend."
• "You should be depressed"
• "You are hysterical."
  

*submitted by shagoodman@aol.com *

• NC Doc: "You have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome."
  ME: "I'd like to be tested for Lyme Disease."
  NC Doc: "What makes you think you have Lyme Disease?"
  ME: "I came home with a rash after camping trip in New York."
  NC Doc: "They don't have Lyme Disease in NY... here are some articles for
  managing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome..."
  
• ME: I"'d like to be tested for Lyme Disease."
  GA Rheumatologist: "What make you think you have Lyme Disease?"
  ME: I came home with a rash after a camping trip in New York. (Rheum agrees to test)
  ******three days later*****
  Clerical staff: "Doctor wants you to come in and give another urine sample - you have bacteria
  in your urine."
  *****test results****
  GA Rheum: "You do not have Lyme Disease."
  ME: "Isn't there a chance the ELISA test could cause a false negative?"
  GA Rheum: " No. If this test is negative there is NO WAY you have Lyme."

*submitted by :mrichmond8@home.com*

• Doctor says "Ms. ****, you are depressed", I say "I'm depressed because I am sick" I beg for
  an MRI, he gives in.
  Scene fade out.........
  Phone call from Dr. one week later: "Ms. Richmond you must come to the office right away
  your MRI results are in, you have brain lesions".
  "Really", I say, "is this caused by depression?"
  "You have MS."
  I say: "Doctor, if I have MS, why do I feel better when I am on antibiotics?"
  He says, "It's a coincidence"...
  I say: "For 10 years?, isn't that a little long for a coincidence?"

*submitted by: simp7mm@aol.com*

• ID doctor: "I had this woman one time that was so sick - for 5 yrs... couldn't quite
  figure out what was wrong with the poor lady... symptoms and symptoms- later
  I found out what was wrong with her she had endometriosis...."
  ME: " But I am a male I thought we where discussing Lyme Disease."
  ID doctor: "Well, I am suggesting to you that someday we will find out what is really wrong with you."
  ME:-" But I have Lyme."
  ID doctor: "Well Steere Protocols treatments are....."
  *NEED I SAY MORE*
  
  
• Neuro doctor: "You have anxiety, go home take this Ativan"( might should mention here
  that the morning of my appointment the neuro doc had been to a seminar on
  anxiety and how he should look for it in patients that where hard to Dx....)
  At the time of my appointment, my heart rate was between 35-45 bpm , blood
  pressure was low, body temp. was low, headaches, fatigue, near passing out episodes.. you get the picture...
  
  
• Next Neuro Doctor: Agreed to test spinal fluid then didn't...said if it wasn't in the blood it would not show in the spinal fluid.....
  
  
• Yet another doctor: " You're not in an endemic area so it can't be lyme."
  
  
• Heart Doctor: "With a heart rate like that you should live forever."
  Me: "But who would want to the way I feel right now."
  
  
• Another Heart doctor: "You have heart block."
  Me: "what causes heart block?"
  Doctor: "Here, take this medicine for heart block."
  Me: "What about the low heart rate?"
  Doctor: "Here, take this medicine"
  Later found out that the doctor had prescibed steriods for the low heart rate.

*submitted by: pansyrip@aol.com

• It's celluitis."
• "You have too many children."
• "You don't get out enough."
• "You know all women usually get headaches it has to do with the monthly cycle".
• " Are you sure you removed a tick?"
• "Lets test you again" -- this after 2 positive ELISA's and 1 positive WB
  and a 7 inch bullseye rash - " We will send them to Steere's lab" .... yeah right - get away from me...
• "You have been reading too much."
• "Don't believe everything you read."
• "You need an anti-depressant."
• "You know 21 days of antibiotics will kill anything."
• "You are stressed out because you have a teenager."
• "You must be doing to much."
• "I have found that women at your age complain about these things."
• "You need to see a shrink."
• "umm umm."
• "Fatigue" - "What time do you go to bed?"
• And my all time favorite: "Fibromyalgia".

** submitted by: wal@multiweb.nl **

• "Don't read on the Internet. The things on the Internet are usually wrong".
• "I feel sorry for you that your psychological problem is so severe that it has led to such debilitating physiological symptoms".
• Second opinion doc: "I don't know exactly what tests they've done. But you live in ... you say?
  Then they're probably done in... lab, and that's a good lab, so when you say those tests were
  negative, you really don't have Lyme".
• "I can tell you even before the test results, you're not going to like my conclusion".
• "I believe you got Lyme in the past because of the E.M., but 100 mg. of Augmentin over 10 days
  should have cured it, and if it hasn't, then what you have taken recently should have cured it".
• "Lyme never causes fast heartbeat, only slow".
• "Don't worry. Lyme is not dangerous"

**submitted by maximum@delanet.com **

• OK, no one mentioned the biggie: "Post Lyme Syndrome".
  This after (2) week course of IV Rocephin 6 months apart, and no orals in between. Oh, and I didn't get the first IV until 11 months after the bite.
  Every Doc I saw either saw the rash, or was told about tick bite & rash.
  
  
• Neurologist was Dr #11, and that is not counting the entire infectious
  disease team that kept coming to check me out in the hospital.
  Me: If it is PLS, then why do I get better on IV, and worse within 4 weeks of stopping?
  Neuro: 'Get used to this'.
  Me: 'I'm 34 years old & am crawling up the stairs".
  Neuro: "Get used to it".
  
  
• Dr #3: "How is your sex life?"
  Me: "How is yours?"
  Dr #3: "I am serious".
  Me: "So am I. If I were a man, would you ask me that question?"
  Dr #3: (silence)
  
  
• Dr #6: "You don't have Lyme".
  Me: "If not Lyme, what?"
  Dr #6: "Not sure, but you are really sick".
  Me: "Do we do more testing?" (Never tested me for Lyme, but took a gallon of blood,
  and had results in my chart)
  Dr #6: "You have a fever of 101.5, elevated WBC, etc..."
  Me: "So, do we do more testing?"
  Dr #6:" Have you seen a therapist?"
  (Like I can decide on will to run a fever, & elevate my own WBC)
  
  
• Dr #9, this is my savior. He is a Neuro-opthamalogist. I go thru the
  routine of relating the story, only by now, I can no longer drive, etc...
  He takes one look in my left eye (with the airplane landing light they use)
  Dr #9: "Why won't they treat you? You have Lyme disease".
  Me: "Hallelujah!!!"
  

• Anyone else notice how interested these docs are in our sex lives???
  I have a great LLMD, am extremely pleased with my treatment.
  Steps I need to take for pain clinic or nerve block for relief of pain.
  From today, had to see an ID Dr., via my Neurologist.
  ID: "You don't have chronic neuro LD, it doesn't exist."
  Me: "How do you know I don't have it or it doesn't exist? Has a new test
  come out that tests for actual Spirochete, as opposed to antibodies?"
  (I know, I am baiting, but...)
  ID: "No."
  Me: "So, basically, there is no way for you to "test" to prove I don't have it or it doesn't exist."
  ID: "Well, yes."
  Me: "If you can't test to prove I don't have it, how can you say I don't have it, or it doesn't exist.
  How can make that statement?"
  (we are basically having a glaring match at this point)
  ID: "Here's a gown, get undressed and we'll finish with the exam."
  I knew what I was getting into here with this appt., been there, done that.
  I must admit, I got a bit of a thrill watching them become uncomfortable.;-)

** submitted by tcljgr@aol.com **

• After 13 different doctors refusing to give me a MRI, I said to the second neuro:
  "I have the Lheermite Sign".
  He says: "Just because you read about it on the internet, doesn't mean you have it."
  I say: "Your right. The fact that everytime I bend my head forward, about 100 watts
  shoot through my body means I have it".
• "Unnecessary testing and treatment is unethical".
• "Have you visited Long Island or the Southeast?
• "There is no lyme in this area."

** submitted by: doherty@utech.net **

• In 1991, after relating to the infectious disease "expert" my tick bite, my rash,
  my symptoms over the previous nine months, and my very recent positive Lyme disease
  serology test, he said, "Mr Doherty, you couldn't possibly have Lyme disease, there is no Lyme
  disease in the area."
  
  Note: Since that statement, the U.S. Army has declared the area a HIGH risk area for Lyme
  disease.
  U.S. Army Lyme Disease Risk Assessment, Vandenberg Air Force Base, 1995.
  http://www.utech.net/users/10766/005.txt
  
  Lyme Disease in the United States and Canada
  http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/Spa/6772/lyme.html
  
  Lots Of Links On Lyme Disease
  http://www.oocities.org/HotSprings/Oasis/6455/lyme-links.html

** submitted by aramsarahNOarSPAM@cs.com.invalid **

• (Of course, each also said the standard, "There is no Lyme Disease in Santa CRuz.")
  
• DOCTOR X:
  She who CARED - Halts me in the middle of description of various symptoms, looks deeply
  into my eyes, says, "Sarah, I *believe* that you> have Lyme Disease."
  
  "So will you treat me IV then?"
  
  "The only way I would treat you with IV is if you had a positive ELISA, WB *and* PCR DNA."
  
  "Well, I already have a highly positive ELISA and I just got my blood drawn again yesterday.
  So if the WB and the PCR and DNA come back positive, THEN you *will* treat me with IV."
  
  "No."
  
  "NO?" I ask disbelieving.
  
  "No. Because if before it was negative and NOW it's positive after you've been on antibiotics for months, then obviously antibiotics wouldn't be HELPING you."
  
  "But you just said- Ah..." says simple old dumb me. "So, there's NO way you're going to put me on IV then."
  
  Strained smile, "I'm glad you found help for yourself and your daughter. I'm glad this doctor is
  working for you. I'm sorry it couldn't have been me. Goodbye, Sarah."
  In other words, GET THE HECK OUT OF MY OFFICE.
  
  
• DOCTOR Y!!!!!!!!
  Oh, the ID Doc! OH MY GOD!
  So my PCP sends me this note and says, Go see this person. I DID NOT REQUEST THIS.
  So I am trying to be nice & compliant & obedient. SO I GO!
  
  I go into the room.
  FIRST words out of her mouth, after a derisive glance at my file: "So what are you doing here, 'doctor-shopping'?". "I can tell you right now you don't have Lyme." she says,
  "I don't know how you got in to see me like this. There's no reason in the world to think you
  have Lyme. You weren't BITTEN by a tick- you don't have positive serology- you were held up
  at gunpoint a few years ago-"
  
  "But I DO have a witnessed tick bite and a highly positive ELISA." I say.
  
  "You do?" she says.
  
  "Yes." I say.
  
  PAUSE. She ruffles through my file folder, searching for something negative...
  Aha!
  "But you have a NEGATIVE Western Blot." she says firmly.
  
  "SO you REALLY think the blood tests are that good." I say, with actual respect for her
  authority aat this point, wondering if I really am crazy after all. "I mean, you think they're
  really accurate then? I mean, if it's negative, then I don't have it. Period."
  
  "No, no, you COULD have Lyme." she says.
  
  Pause.
  
  "But you DON'T." she says firmly. "Look, I've read your file. You were held up at gunpoint-
  you have ISSUES."
  
  (Me- thinking- ****WHAT the heck is she doing bringing up me being held at gunpoint in a
  robbery that was over 6 years ago I went to therapy and I don't even think about that anymore.***)
  
  "So you get held at gunpoint and NOW you have Lyme." she says.
  EXCUSE ME? This higher logic...
  "SO how did you convince your doctor to have me see you? Just wanted one more try at a Lyme diagnosis? What'd you tell him?"
  "Excuse me." I said, "I did not ASK to see you at all. I got a note in the mail from my PCP
  ASKING ME TO SEE *YOU*. I find your personal comments extremely offensive."
  "Oh." she says.
  Pause. A different tack...
  "All of my Lyme patients are cured with 4 weeks of Doxycycline."
  5 minutes later-
  "Most of my Lyme patients are like you- they want MORE Doxycyline- they go on to have
  Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue or Chronic Depression."
  "So they're NOT cured." I say.
  "They are." she insisted, "They're cured of Lyme."
  Then *I* blew it.
  "It says you think your kid has it, too." she says, "Don't you realize kids copy everything?
  (Goes into long story about her 4 year old son who follows her aged mother around the house pretending to limp when it was JUST PRETEND, see? JUST PRETEND.)
  Do you know what you're doing? Do you know it's emotional abuse?
  Do you know what this could do to her psychologically"
  
  Okay, I wasn't on abx at this time and I felt like I was dying and had only gotten maybe
  3 hours of sleep the night before. So instead of being dignified and leaving, I said,
  "BUT HER KNEES HURT FIRST." and burst into tears.
  
  "Oh, don't CRY." she says.
  "Look, DON"T CRY."
  
  (Me desperately trying to regain composure-)
  
  "You want me to test you again? I'll have blood drawn."
  
  "Wha-at?" I ask.
  
  "Just stop CRYING." she says, "STOP CRYING. I hate it when you people cry."
  
  
• AND BEHIND DOOR NUMBER SEVEN- DOCTOR XXX
  
  My First Rheumatologist... Ah, memories...
  "Classic case of Lyme." says he, hands me a scrip for Doxy and sends me out the door,
  very nice & respectful. EXEUNT MOI
  
  4 WEEKS LATER
  "I don't know why you bothered coming in." he says, I having already been notified by phone
  that my WB was negative. "Western Blot Tests are 98% accurate. Your PRIMARY problem
  is NOT Rheumatological."
  
  (And I cried AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!All the way out the
  door...)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
  
  
• MY LAST QUOTE
  Doctor Z- THE PSYCHIATRIST:
  MY PCP asked me to see one despite the fact that I was seeing a therapist already solely
  to be able to contain my RAGE toward HIM. SO I see Doctor Z- and he IS A CLONE OF
  MY BIG BROTHER.
  
  "God, you look EXACTLY like my brother." says me.
  blah blah blah
  
  "Sometimes people THINK they are in pain, but they AREN'T in pain." he says.
  "Sometimes people THINK they are going through something PHYSICAL, but it's origins are..."
  
  "Emotional?"
  
  "EMOTIONAL." he says.
  
  "So, why would my HUSBAND *BELIEVE* he had seen me bitten by a tick and SEE the
  subsequent rash if it was EMOTIONAL?" I ask.
  
  "That's not the point." says he.
  
  "WHat is the point?"
  
  "Your CHEST PAINS." he intones, "You describe them as lasting generally about 5 to 20
  minutes, with a PEAK of pain- is this correct?"
  
  "Yes." I agree.
  
  "Do you feel a SENSE of DOOM?" he asks.
  
  "Well, I don't know if I would call it 'DOOM'." I say, "But I feel a connection with my mortality-
  I feel a great deal of FEAR."
  
  "So a SENSE OF DOOM?" he says.
  
  "Sure." I say.
  
  "PANIC ATTACKS usually occur in the space of 5 to 20 minutes and have a PEAK of ANXIETY
  and a FEELING OF DOOM." he says.
  
  "In the TIME of 5-20 minutes, not SPACE." I say pedantically.
  
  "PANIC ATTACKS." he says, making sure I am still following his inescapable,
  incredibly insightful logic that had been BUILDING for the last 5-20 MINUTES with a sense
  of DOOM.
  "For example, your CHEST PAINS you've been describing to me last for-"
  blah blah blah.
  
  "Fine." I finally say, "What would it change if I was having panic attacks instead of chest pains,
  being that panic attacks are THEMSELVES a symptom of Lyme Disease?"
  
  "Panic Attacks- A Symptom of Lyme Disease." he repeats.
  
  "Yes." says me.
  
  He REALLY did remind me of my brother...
  
  But, he actually gave my sanity a thumbs-up! Good for him! It was either that that changed
  my PCP's mind and had him officially diagnose me as having Lyme. Either that or-
  * the plastic baggie full of live nymph ticks
  * the pictures of deer grazing on our garden vegetables
  * the pictures of ME in the same exact spot the deer had been thrust excitedly into his face with,
  "See, that's where the deer is in that picture and LOOK, Doctor H, that's ME. In the SAME spot!"
  * countless xeroxed papers on LYme with YELLOW & PINK highlights shoved one by one under
  his office door!
  
  * innovative postcards to him with CLIPPINGS in YELLOW & PINK highlights affixed to them
  with glue.
  * VIDEO of my knees swollen red - and as they are chronically swollen now- my real sad knees
  paraded in front of him, waiflike beneath my husband's plaid boxer shorts...
  * VIDEO of my puffed-out upper eyelids and THE REAL THING as it got worse & worse!!!!!!!
  * Testimonials from my husband & llmd & even my MOTHER.
  * numerous mentions of the many family members I have who are lawyers.
  *etc etc etc
  
  Ah, how sweet these days...
  
• The Finale, where I am Officially Diagnosed by my HMO Physician as Having Chronic Lyme
  Disease with Neurological Deficits & an Official Request for IV Therapy...
  
  
• Okay! Just ONE MORE QUOTE!!
  My Tired, Bone-Weary, Well-Meaning PCP, after admitting that after letting me get
  progressively sicker for almost 2 years, that HE DOES believe I have Lyme now and will
  help me in ANY WAY he CAN, tells me A Story. Why? Gee, I don't know WHAT he meant by it.
  But I will SHARE it with You*)
  * The Physician's Tale...*
  "I had these 2 patients- mother and daughter- they had the Elephant Man Disease." says my PCP, "And I just couldn;'t do anything RIGHT for them- their HMO just wouldn't approve anything and
  they were really unhappy with what I could OFFER them- and what they finally did is- they moved
  out of state to be closer to this doctor who could help them."
  
  "What are you saying?" I ask, maintaining eye contact, refusing to look down.
  
  "Your HMO will NOT approve experiemental procedures." says he.
  
  "There is NOTHING experimental about IV for Neurological Lyme." I say.
  
  "HMOs don't approve requests for it." says he.
  
  "IF THEIR DOCTORS FIGHT FOR IT THEY DO." I said.
  
  "I'll do my best." he said.
  
  Sighed...
  
  And that, my 'fellow lab rats', to steal a line from one of you, is Where I Am Today,
  Waiting To Hear From The Big Blue Shield.*)

**submitted by vierkapar@erols.com **

• "You need to confront some things in your life, go home and think them through....
  and take some Lorazepam to help you along".
  
  
• "You mean to tell me you have Lyme disease, YOU, one of two thousand in the entire
  United States" (can't even began to describe his facial expressions while he was saying it, --
  hope the Gods of the netherworld will look after him one day--)
  
  
• "I say you are stressed" (despite my insistance otherwise).
  
  
• I was given a nasty lecture because he followed my instructions to test for LD,
  "following patients self diagnostic claims always leads to trouble", his ire warranted
  a home phone call to scold me for a borderline Elisa test and a positive WB ...
  and "they are FALSE POSITIVE, OK", "you need to have your blood redrawn,this is one
  of the reasons why I don't listen to patients diagnosing themselves".
  
  
• "I guess I will call this lyme disease". By then I had developed a full fledge
  meningoencephilitis, termites were chewing on my brain....I was ready to throw
  myself off the bridge after 60 days of non-stop "unusual- type migraines.

**submitted by bratdet@aol.com **

• A quote from my thyroid doctor:
  "What do you mean you are not feeling well, and not working full-time?
  "...You LOOK so Vibrant..."

**submitted by midnight@vcnet.com **

• "I want a disease that I can follow with labs. I can't follow this." (infectious disease)
• "I never bothered to learn about that" (hematologist/ oncologist).
• "You never got bitten by a tick, did you?" (multiple doctors on west coast)

**submitted by yolandadiazNOyoSPAM@jazzfree.com.invalid **

• You haven´t facial palsy, you haven´t Lyme.
  
  
• After 8 years without treatament: "You have taken 45 days' Doxycycline, you are cured,
  you don´t have objective signs, only functional symptoms. You need a psychologist for your
  pain, all is in your mind".
  
  
• Dr. sent serum for ELISA and WB, he shows me the WB´s bands and gives me an ELISA
  borderline result, he says the laboratory didn´t make WB. because the ELISA wasn´t
  positive.( sure I saw these bands in the original laboratory result, isn´t in my mind )
  
  
• A second laboratory gave me a positive WB.
  After a second curse of Ab: "You feel better with more Ab, it´s a placebo effect."

**submitted by kjru@aol.com **

• One of my favorites...
  While trying to explain some symptoms to a nuerologist he interrupts me and says
  "Are you married or do you have a boyfriend?"

**submitted by denimld@aol.com **

• "Go home, do these things to your husband to turn him on (after explaining
  in detail the "art" of oral sex) and you'll feel much better".
  
  
• "You're just depressed...take the Zoloft and you'll feel better." This was said after over
  100 tick bites, rash, subsequent illness, numbness, etc. In actuality, I was going through
  menopause in addition to having LD, HGE and RMSF.
  
  
• "Your Lyme test was negative. You do not have Lyme disease." The test he was referring
  to was done just 6 days after the first 8 to 10 tick bites - too soon for anything OTHER than
  a "negative" test, eh? Idiot...he has destroyed my entire life.

** submitted by soundfour@aol.com **

• An Internist, after showing him signs of acrodermatitis on my hands and feet.....
  "Did you just break up with your boyfriend"?

** submitted by jwissmille@aol.com **

• Admitted to the hospital with excruciating back pain--doubled over due to spasm in
  back muscle--can't use fingers to button my daughter's clothes because they are so stiff -
  just recovering from six months of pleurilsy that has scarred my lung and peridontal surgery
  on my gums ( periodontist--"you sure are young to have this kind of gum disease")
  Orrthopedic surgeon and neurologist check me out--can't find anything--they ask me if I
  wanted a little vacation and rest in the hospital.
  Out in the hall they tell the nurses to be sure the hypochondriac in my room doesn't bother
  the nurses too much.
  
  
• Assinine things Leonard "I feel your pain" Sigal has said--not to me - to
  the world.Talk about a BS in medicine !!!!!!
  
  
  The Lame brains of Lyme-
  
  "...Are they very tired, with the same sort of cognitive dysfunction that a resident has after a
  bad night on call?
  ....."
  "... And how do you tell whether the patient with Lyme disease has fibromyalgia-like syndrome.."
  
  
• Dr. Sigal is also a psychic. He can tell how you feel, even when you don't know yourself.
  FROM : The American Journal of Medicine Vol. 98-(suppl 4A)
  
  Question from panel: " I am troubled by the concept of encephalopathy because, as a
  rheumatologist, I see a lot of patients who complain of vague symptoms, including cognitive dysfunction, which seems to go under the general category of fibromyalgia.
  By the time these patients get to a specialist, be it either a neurologist or a rheumatologist,
  a lot of the symptoms theycomplain of could be ascribed to fibromyalgia.
  The question then is: How do you separate one from the other?
  The significance of saying that a patient is encephalopathic is very different from
  saying that a patient suffers from fibromyalgia." [how profound]
  
  
• Leonard H. Sigal, M.D.: " We see a lot of people with a history that is at least compatible
  with Lyme disease who meet the criteria for fibromyalgia:
  They are seropositive, we have reason to believe they have been exposed to
  Borrelia burgdorferi, and they have been treated. The question is, do they have
  central nervous system Lyme disease with subtle encephalopathy, or,in fact, do they have fibromyalgia? Are they very tired, with the same sort of cognitive dysfunction that a resident
  has after a bad night on call?
  
  
• And what we do is exactly what Dr. Halperin was referring to --we objectify.
  You use the techniques available to you to look for evidence that something is going on.
  We have found neuropsychologic testing valuable, because one can look at function and
  say that this parttern of abnormality is what one sees in Lyme disease, as compared with
  people who are depressed or who somatize, or a pattern that looks unremarkable .
  Perceived cognitive dysfunction is different from objectifiable cognitive dysfunction.
  If one can objectify it, one can then say this looks like Lyme disease."
  
  J.J. Halperin: " I would take that one step further, which is to say that if you do a formal mini-mental-status test in the office, you can differentiate 95% of those patients."
  
  Question: " I am not sure I would agree with that on the basis of patients who have fibromyalgia---particularly those who have long-standing fibromyalgia.
  Using the mini--mental-status test as an evaluation of cognitive function is probably inadequate.
  The full batch of neuropsychiatric testing can probably give you some data that help to
  differentiate, but even then some of these data can be confusing . I am not addressing the
  patient who is obviously depressed; I am talking about the patient who has this entity that we
  recognize as fibromyalgia, because clearly the implication is very different.
  The implication in the patient who has encephalopathy is that this patient has active
  CNS infection." [they are making this way too difficult- I'm glad I wasn't born with a big
  "Lyme expert" brain- it's almost like there is so much in their heads that it is all getting
  squished together and what comes out is what we are reading here-junk]
  
  J.J. Halperin:" Absolutely not. That may be how it is perceived, but what I tried to
  demonstrate is that the vast majority of those people do not have it on the basis of CNS
  infection by any other criterion, and that it is the same brain dysfunction that you or I get
  when we have the flu or we have been on call the night before." {Notice how he is using
  himself and his collegues as the gaugers of what tired as opposed to what " Lyme" tired is.
  It is as though we can't possibly know the difference because we haven't had the experience
  of being on call. I guess "staying up with a sick child tired" isn't really tired - tired like a
  resident on call gets tired.
  These guys know how we really feel as opposed to how we think we feel]
  "Only a subset has brain infection." [translation-a subset to be determined by the insurance companies]
  
  Question: " That is an important message to get across. Because at the moment what is
  happening is that these patients are being subjected to repetitive courses of intravenous antibiotics." [translation-they actually might get better and not come back ]
  
  Andrew R. Pachner, M.D.: " Lyme disease can cause fibromyalgia in some patients.
  Patients with fibromyalgia do have a whole host of neurologic symptoms that overlap with encephalopathy. And how do you tell whether the patient with Lyme disease has
  fibromyalgia-like syndrome" [this is a new one for me, I have heard of fibromyalgia but not fibromyalgia-like syndrome] "or whether this is pure and simple Lyme encephalopathy?"
  [these are the people we are waiting for to come up with a cure?]
  "I do not think it is possible to distinguish them at this point, because I have seen patients with
  Lyme disease who have fibromyalgia and who have neuropsychologic problems.
  But the kind of patients Dr. Halperin is talking about are people who do not have severe
  fibromyalgia --people who have Lyme disease and who have encephalopathy as a major
  part of their disease process and for whom the classical findings of fibromyalgia are not present. Patients who have fibromyalgia and encephalopathy are a very confusing group,"
  [not as confusing as the group participating in this yawner of a discussion] " and I agree that the neuropsychology and neurologic dysfunction of fibromyalgia are citical issues and possible sources
  of obfuscation in this disease." [not as big a source of obfuscation as this panel]
  "But in terms of practical things, what do you do? You try to objectify; we do neuropsychologic
  testing on these people."
  
  
• Now listen to this--Leonard aka the Lyme expert Sigal: " For a rheumatologist who sees
  patients with fibromayalgia and/or Lyme disease, it is dangerous to assume that the
  neurocognitive abnormalities are necessarily due to fibromyalgia. We have to objectify.
  It could be the fibromyalgia, but you cannot assume it is Lyme disease. Or it could be Lyme
  disease, but you should not assume it is the fibromyalgia, because then you have a potentially treatable entity that goes ignored."
  [ And I thought I had foggy brain! It wouldn't hurt for him to get a mini-mental staus test.]
  
  Question: " Probably the point is that it does not matter all that much in the end."
  [can you believe this?--great minds at work here]
  "What I am driving at here is what the patient needs to know that, as far as can be determined , he does not have active CNS infection and, therefore, does not need any further antibiotic therapy.
  Part of the problem is we tend to hide behind our own ignorance"
  [I see more flagrant flaunting than hiding]
  " and say we are not sure, leaving the patient hanging. I think that at this point it is very reasonable to manage the patient as though the patient has fibromyalgia. And some of these patients do very
  well with a combination of reassurance and perhaps low-dose tricyclic antidepressants given as a bedtime dose to deal with some of the sleep disturbance that goes along with it."
  
  J.J. Halperin: " That is what I do routinely with these patients."
  
  L.H. Sigal: " One of the problems that we as physicians and scientists have is communicatthese gray areas to our patients, because WE DON'T HAVE ABSOLUTE FACTS. We are very good at communicating facts," [ I think he means disguising facts] "but we don't do a good job of communicating areas of indecision and of inaccurate or incomplete knowledge.
  One of the things we can do better in Lyme disease is to allow patients in on some of the confusion and include them in the decision making process--to be in on what we are saying, describe our thought processes," {ROTFLOL}
  " tell patients why we are not really sure and why we are doing what we are doing, and allow patients to help us make that decision. That kind of empowerment allows patients to feel better about what is going on and gives them more confidence in us."
  *Being a "Lyme expert" is hard work but somebody has to do it.*

  ---

*submitted by ???*

• "Lyme disease is something I know a lot about. Lyme is an "either/or" disease.
  You either get joint symptoms, OR heart symptoms, OR neurologic symptoms,
  but not a mix."

  ---

  *submitted by rufie710@rcn.com *
  Here are two from the ID doc in LD ridden Hunterdon County NJ:

• " Lyme disease is no big deal. I don't even check my kids for ticks after they have been
  out in the woods".
• "Oh, I know these 'Lyme specialists'( referring to several well known LLMDs) ,
  They'll treat your Lyme for a fee, they'll probably even wash your car for a fee".
• from a nurse in the same department....and in repsonse to the following question.......
  Q) are you going to the LDF conference?
  A) "No, we only go to the conferences that support our viewpoint" ( or words to that effect)

  ---

• "Go rent some dirty movies."
  
  
• "Go home and make dinner for your husband." (sure lady, just as soon as I can stand up
  for longer than five minutes!!)
  
  
• "There's no Lyme Disease in this County - we don't have lyme here, etc. etc.."
  
  
• "You just want attention. (If I wanted attention, I'd prefer to run naked through an airport)
  
  
• " It's all in your head."
  
  
• " Maybe a full or part-time job would help."
  
  
• " You'll be cured in three months ".
  
  
• " You need to find a hobby."
  
  
• " Don't worry, you'll be just fine"
  
  
• "Come back when your'e in enough pain, and I"ll give you some prozac".
  
  
• "If you were really sick, you'd have 1 or 2 symptoms, not 20!".
  
  
• "I don't know what you have, but it sounds like you live in a haunted house.
  
  
• "Maybe you have the new disease of twentieth century."
  
  
• " Have you considered going to a psychiatrist?"
  
  
• "Well, everyone has something they have to live with. "
  
  
• "You should try imagry." ( Imagine *THIS*!)
  
  
• " You need to exercise".
  
  
• From a doctor after being handed info on LD: "Your problem is that you read too much."
  
  
• " When asked why an "out of the blue, no obvious reason for it" diagnosis of carpel
  tunnel syndrome was diagnosed) "Because I just diagnosed it".
  
  
• Before I was diagnosed with very late-stage Lyme, my symptoms included: tremors,
  involuntary jerking, spatic gait, difficulty speaking and sometimes total loss of the ability to
  speak and write, partial loss of vision, loss of fine motor control, crushing fatigue, and periodic paralysis. I had to use supplemental oxygen to breathe. At that time I saw a neurologist who
  told me, in front of my husband, that I should just quit by job as a university prof and stay home
  and have kids.
  
  
• A neurologist who told me AFTER I was diagnosed with Lyme that she wouldn't tell me about
  the possible side effects of having a spinal tap because I was so "suggestive" I'd probably
  cause the problems to occur. (huh?) So, you guessed it, they botched it and it leaked for
  two weeks before I got up my courage to tell the doctors, because I was afraid of being
  labeled "nuts". The pain was incredible. If I was that "suggestable" you better believe I'd
  "suggest" that the Lyme TO GO AWAY.
  
  
• A well-meaning colleague, who, noticing my inability to walk without the support of two
  canes who asked me, "when will you be able to walk normally again." I wonder if people
  ask cancer patients when THEY will be well again.
  
  
• "There's nothing wrong with you. You'll outlive me".
  
  
• "You should have a breast reduction."
  
  
• " This treatment is not medically necessary. "
  
  
• "You are aware that there are two theories to this lyme thing, right?"
  
  
• From a doc: "Do you know what all these antibiotics will do to you?"
  
  
• From a doc when asked if he heard of a particular doctor who was treating lyme:
  "yea, I know who he is (while rolling his eyeballs)

  ---

*submitted by marylurock@aol.com *

• Doctor: "Your symptoms all match Lyme disease, but there is no Lyme disease in
  Delaware. So it must be something else. Whatever you have is incurable. Come back
  after three months, and I can diagnose it as chronic fatigue syndrome."

two weeks later:

Doctor: "I'll send you to a rheumatologist for the joint pain, a neurologist for the vertigo and
an infectious disease specialist for the fatigue."

Patient: "Don't you think it's all one disease? The symptoms started all at the same time."

Doctor: "No disease has this many symptoms."

two weeks later:

Doctor: "You have to stop coming here. I have patients a lot sicker than you are."

Patient: "I'll bet you do."

• "Is that a cat scratch on your neck? Oh no wonder you don't feel good, you
  are allergic to your cats!" After $600.00 worth of allergy testing, I proved
  them wrong.....

*submitted by ???*

• A nurse asks me, "Whats going on? You still have the Lymes???
• Another one by the same Dr. when I was trying to describe the brain fog... "Are you confused,
  Do you know where you are?"
  I knew where I was alright, in the wrong place!

  ---

* submitted by lymewick@aol.com *

• Was in hosp. (in NYC area) for a PICC line insertion and the M.D. writing my discharge
  orders asked "Do you live in a forest near Connecticut, and why are you on I.V.
  if you had oral medications"??? Scary!!

  ---

  *submitted by : amberp putnam_amberNOpuSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid (??)

• "Have you ever pet a deer?" see, because you have to be close
  enough for the tick to jump on you...
• "I don't believe in lyme disease. What kind of disease will
  give a neg test result when you're actually pos and a pos when
  you're actually neg?" -neurologist
• Laughingly when I couldn't walk from tremors,"I've never seen a
  disease that would make your left leg and right arm shake"
• "Only when you realize that your psyshological affects areyour
  physical, will you get rid of your headaches. Go see a
  psychologist."
  -Primary Care less doc to my complaint of head
  pain and 50% loss of sensation to the whole right side of my
  body.
  

  ---

  * submitted by rfitch103@aol.com

• My favorite, "Maybe you should be tested for AIDS."
  (In Africa they call AIDS the slimming disease. I had gained 30 pounds.)
  

  ---

  *yet more submitted by Sarah*) aramsarahNOarSPAM@cs.com.invalid*

• Okay, I can't resist- the Doctor I have more hostility toward
  than ANY in the whole world: my daughter's HMO pediatrician.
  ALl I need to do to make him look bad is QUOTE him, so here it
  goes:
  
  The worst misfortune we have had is that the Nasty
  Rheumatologist I quoted in my Lame Doctors spiel IS OUR
  Pediatrician's PERSONAL DOCTOR for Arthritis.
  
  !!! This Rheumatologist is the guy who first told me I
  had "a classic case of Lyme" and then treated me like I was
  garbage after I had a negative Western Blot, as they are "98%
  accurate- basically, if you test positive, you have it, if you
  don't, you don't."
  
  SO this EVil Man, Dr. Lester Miller, told our child's
  pediatrician some simple facts about Lyme Disease:
  
  1. Western Blots are 98% accurate (see above).
  
  2. If you have Lyme Disease, you have grossly swollen knees
  with major fluid build-up. Period. If you do not have grossly
  swollen knees, you do not have Lyme Disease- even if you test
  positive- it should be treated then as a false positive.
  
  3. There IS NO Lyme Disease in Santa Cruz.
  
  SO our child's doc starts explaining these "Lyme Facts" to us
  and I say, "Doctor B, I BEG you to look in ANY REFERENCE
  material, in ANY medical book, at these pages I BROUGHT for you
  (holding up folder) and you will find that the facts are VERY
  different than what Dr. Miller told you."
  
  HERE IT COMES- I STILL GET DUMBFOUNDED WHEN I REMINISCE:
  HAPPY QUOTE # 1:
  
  "Dr. Miller is the best doctor in Santa CRuz- if Doctor
  Miller says it, it's gospel to me."
  
  PERIOD.
  
  # 2: "We don't even bother giving antibiotics to kids with ticks
  attached- there IS NO Lyme Disease in Santa Cruz."
  
  # 3: When told of my daughter's DAILY complaints of pain,
  
  "She's obviously COPYING you."
  
  "But MANY of her complaints I DO NOT have- and a few of them,
  like joint pain, she had BEFORE I did!"
  
  "Growing pains, Mrs. Weiss, she has GROWING PAINS."
  
  "I have asked EVERY other MOther I know and not a single
  child has had ANYWHERE near the complaints that Evan has. She
  won't WALK some days. Her knees SWELL and look, right now
  they're RED. Her knees hurt, her toes hurt, her fingers and
  wrist hurt- you're telling me that it is COINCIDENCE that I have
  Lyme Disease and my child has the worst case of GROWING PAINS
  I've ever heard of. She's had these pains FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS
  now- EVERY DAY."
  
  "Mrs. Weiss, you don't have Lyme Disease. You're forgetting-
  I know Dr. Miller. If Doctor Miller says you don't have Lyme
  Disease, you DON'T have Lyme Disease."
  
  "WHAT?"
  
  (smiling paternally) "You've been on the internet, haven't
  you?"
  
  (Me= speechless. As a matter of fact, this was a couple
  months BEFORE we came online.)
  
  "Look at all the attention you're giving her. LOOK at your
  daughter, Mrs. Weiss, SHE IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY."
  
  Me, looking at adorable looking child who will not walk some
  days because "it hurts too much, Mama." AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  # 4: ANother time, to husband, who went in alone thinking that
  if Doc's complete rudeness to me stemmed from misogyny that HE
  would be able to GET THROUGH to him.
  
  Husband: (earnestly- an approximation as I was not there;
  however, this interchange was recounted time and time again over
  the following weeks)
  "And when we put her on AMoxy EVERYTHING about her
  CHANGED. Her eating habits, bowel habits, sleep habits-
  ervything was completely different within a couple weeks. She
  gained 3 & 1/2 pounds the first 3 weeks after not gaining AN
  OUNCE for a whole YEAR."
  
  "Kids change."
  
  Husband: (disbelieving- surely thinking, Well, I can
  understand him treating my wife like an idiot because she
  presents badly sometimes she's a nervous peron BUT ME, wait a
  second, I am man hear me roar- aren't we talking man-to-man Doc
  what's going on here>?) "What?"
  
  "Kids change- they go through phases. You want to think that
  she's sick so you take these normal changes as a sign. Look,
  Mr. Weiss, LOOK at her. She's a perfectly normal, healthy
  child."
  
  Child: looking adorable as always.
  
  Husband: "But she is in PAIN every day. You're telling me
  she;'s NOT in pain? Her knees swell up now- the other morning
  her left knee was so swollen-"
  
  blah blah blah
  My husband was livid. He took her in twice by himself,
  unable to understand how someone could treat HIM like he is
  crazy. He had been mild on that Doc until then, but after the
  second attempt at "getting through to him" my husband quoted him
  for weeks "Kids change!" with disbelieving laughs.
  
  "Sarah, he DIDN"T BELIEVE ME."
  
  "I know."
  
  "How could he tell me I don't know Evan? HOW?"
  
  "I know, I know..." (soothingly...)
  
  "He just stood there with this smug expression on his face
  and he DIDN'T BELIEVE me!"
  
  (Me, thinking Well, GOSH, you weren't this upset over him
  telling ME he didn't believe me!)
  
  "Yes, I know..."
  
  "I said, 'You're telling me Chronic Diarrhea, sleeping 4-5
  hours a night with no naps, gaining no weight in a year, being
  tired all the time and having chronic pain is NORMAL for a
  child?' and HE SAID, 'Absolutely normal, Mr. Weiss.'!!!"
  
  My husband understands my anger better now.
  
  
• POSTSCRIPT:
  
  Our revenge upon our child's pediatrician!
  
  My husbands's REVENGE: One day the child was having A LOT of
  pain and her rash was really bright and her knees were red and
  swollen so we swooped her up and took her in to her
  pediatrician's office.
  
  OF COURSE, he wasn't there.
  
  HOWEVER, we DID see one of his partners and the receiving
  nurse, both of whom noted these visible signs in her file. AND
  my husband listed her chronic complaints (she IS being treated,
  just not by these docs) and said, "Doctor Burroughs told me that
  these are NORMAL. I asked him and he SAID they were. Are YOU
  going to tell me these (blahblah-listed-complaints)are NORMAL?"
  
  ANyway, Doc T said, "Of course they're not. No, they're NOT the
  least bit normal- and as a matter of fact I note that at the
  time when you brought her in and asked her to be tested that her
  SED rate was very high. I do see the things you've pointed out.
  But I'm not her pediatrician so you need to bring this up with
  him. And even though her knees DO look swollen and red- with
  Lyme Disease there is a build-up of fluid in the joint and it is
  GROSSLY distorted, GROSSLY swollen."
  
  Stops, pauses,
  
  "But there is much about these kind of diseases that are just
  being found out- there is a lot of controversy about them."
  
  US: No kidding.
  
  Husband: (goes into long monologue reporting exactly what Doc B
  said to him blahblah, Doc T looking pretty shocked at his
  colleague blahblah he agrees it is not normal.)
  SO he was okay. Not AWFUL like her Doc - and my husband
  finally stopped quoting her Ped repetitively at home.
  
  Her Ped also said- I can't believe I forgot to quote THIS!!!
  The second time my husband took her in to talk man-to-doc,
  thinking that if he just phrased something right or said The
  Right Thing that her Ped would say, "You're Right- she DOES have
  Lyme Disease!" Her Ped had very eagerly asked for the name of
  her LLMD, who is the same as mine,
  and my husband refused to give him the name because it was
  obvious her Ped wanted his name for nefarious purposes. WELL, my
  husband informed him that our llmd was treating her and under
  HIS care she was doing incredibly well (with an obvious
  inference there about HIS care/lack of) and her pediatrician
  said, in response,
  
  "If I HEAR of you giving IV antibiotics to her, I WILL STOP IT."
  
  
  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The
  threat there being that he would call CPS on
  us. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  Boy, my husband quoted that a lot to me too! How could I have
  forgotten his fervent recitals!
  
  ANYWAY, *MY* REVENGE:
  
  I am writing a book which will probably never be either
  finished or published - about a family who gets Lyme Disease and
  have lots of encounters with foolish, stupid, idiotic, jerk
  doctors- and they all bear similar names to certain ones I have
  met in the last almost-2 years. It is VERY therapeutic!!! I
  even quote HER doctor verbatim because he's such an idiot. At
  this point I'm only done with Chapter Six and Our Family is
  being beset by a series of misfortunes that do not appear to be
  connected but are, of course, in a very John-Saul-esque way.
  The daughter is having serious onset of Lyme and her
  Pediatrician is busy saying things such as, "There is no Lyme
  Disease in Santa CRuz." & "Mother, LOOK at her- she's a
  perfectly healthy child!" How I relish writing these scenes!!!
  Building up toward that delicious climax where his idiocy and
  criminal neglect will be displayed to all the world!!! (in my
  fantasy of getting it published one day anyway*)
  
  "You've been on the internet!"
  
  AHA- YOU HAVE, TOO, you SMUG jerk!)*@!)*)*!)*!

  ---

  *submitted by amberp putnam_amberNOpuSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid*

• My fav: Have you been petting any deer lately? PCP in Dallas

  ---

  *submitted by Lee Lee leema@earthlink.net

• At about my 5th doctor after 8 months or so of non diagnosis...he, a very kindly, friendly
  sort avowed after I related my unsuccessful string of doctors, "You don't seem like THE
  KIND" . Of course I confirmed, "I'm not! I haven't been to a doctor in years
  before this!"
  After a few more anxious visits about my subjective symptoms however, the
  friendly doctor succumbed to the text book advice and said, "maybe you should
  see a psychiatrist". This hurt even more than the doctor who removed my
  gallbladder, as I thought I could really count on him. It was betrayal. I was
  devastated. And oh yes, I wrote letters to about 9 of the docs I encountered in
  the pursuit of a diagnosis after it was established including my betrayer. Not
  one responded.
  
  Lee in CA

  ---

*submitted by "Jake" michael@lookn4.com *

• To a neurologist due to migranes, dizziness, blurred vision. I asked him
  for a spinal tap being so desperate to get help. His quote, "if you had
  neurological lyme you would have facial paralysis." Here is a prescription
  for an antidepressant.
  

• To first Infectious Disease Doctor right off the bat said I don't treat with
  long term antibiotics. Lyme is easily cured. After I didn't get better( six
  weeks of doxy 200 mg) you never had lyme, you have MS.
  

• To another Infectious Disease Doctor, if you had lyme it would be gone by
  now with all the antibiotics you took, you just need some exercise. I said
  I am having dizzy spells and barely walk let alone exercise. Ok I will do a
  Gunderson Lyme test which is very accruate and if that comes back positive I
  will send you to a very good neurologist.
  

• To a family doctor "you never had lyme, just a virus." Band 23 was from
  when you had mono 20 years ago."
  

  ---

* submitted by lou_f@my-deja.com

• I go to a neurologist, tell him about waves of tingling sensations,
  swollen knee, etc. Was thinking about going into the Peace Corps and
  wanted to sort this out before ending up in a place with no medical
  care.
  He does all the hammer to knee, follow my finger with your eyes, really
  low tech testing.
  Then he tells me the only way to check this out further is a bunch of
  highly invasive tests, and was there any point because I probably
  just had too much time on my hands.
  Presumably this is his standard line to hysterical females who take up
  his time and really just want the pleasure of his company without
  actually being sick. I couldn't believe it. So stunned that I just
  left without making any protest. Wrote a letter afterwards to him. No
  reply.

  ---

  submitted by DWaters800 dwaters800@aol.com

• Here are some stupid comments that docs have made to Lyme patients I know:
  

• "You focus on yourself too much. You need a hobby. Have you tried
  knitting?"
  

• "Marriage counseling may make you feel better."

• "Your son is not a cripple. Just don't let him roller-blade too fast."

• To a women who had lost 30 lbs., could not walk, and had no vision in right
  eye. "The tests don't show anything. Get out of bed and go see a psychiatrist."

• The muscle spasms you keep having in your legs and arms mean you are
  working too much. I have a tic in my eye when I am overworked."

• "I can look at you and tell your whole family are couch potatoes."

• To my son: "You don't want to go poo-poo at school, so you are making all
  ofthis up."

• To me: "You are a Lyme fanatic!" (What is that, anyway?)

• "A patient must have a positive lumber puncture before IV abx therapy is
  usedfor Lyme."

• "What is a herxheimer? And how does that apply to Lyme."

• "Lyme does not make you gain weight. Quit using that as an excuse for your
  fatstomach."

• "Your child does not have Lyme. It is a mystery virus that will disappear
  in three weeks." - Told to 3 different Lyme Moms by 3 different ID docs.

• "Make your son run one mile each day and he will get better."

• "Your daughter is converting her internal stress into seizures."
  

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