Welcome to the
Lecture notes page!
1.
4 Step Formula for a Good Talk
2.
7 Habits of Highly Effective Families
3.
The "Marital Dance"
4.
Know Your Religion: Marriage
5.
My Scripture Marking Technique
6.
My Word Processing Practice Lesson
1) Here is an
easy 4 step formula for any good talk:
These steps express audience
attitudes for you to respond to:
1.
"Ho, hum..." Set the theme and grab interest.
2.
"Why tell me
that?" (I like to call this one, "And
I care because?")
3. "For example?" The body of the talk, with other references.
4. "So what?" Explain, in closing, what this means to the listener.
From a leadership session of Stake Conference on becoming better teachers.
2) Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habbits of Highly Effective Families:
1.
Being proactive
2.
Beginning with the end in mind
3. Putting first things first
4. Thinking "Win - Win"
5. Seeking first to understand, then to be understood
6. Synergizing
7. Sharpening the saw
9 improtant "deposits" you can make to another's emotional bank account:
1.
Seeking first to understand Set the theme and grab interest.
2.
Making and keeping promises
3. Kindnesses and courtesies
4. Establishing, clarifying & fulfilling roles & goals
5. Being loyal, even when absent
6. Receiving feedback; giving "I" not "You" messages
7. Patience and persuasion, instead of deals or force
8. Apologizing without requiring forgiveness
9. Learning to forgive
Taken from a talk on cassette.
3) The "Marital Dance"
These patterns are evident in all
relationships. There is a "dance" we
have learned and we try to teach our version to others. We use four "seats" and move back and forth between
them, while others are constantly changing seats too. Sometimes we chase others to their "seat," and sometimes we
entice others to ours.
1.
The "love seat" is where we
enjoying being with others and conflicts are solved.
2.
The "distraction seat" is
where you go alone, or because you want to, or have to. (I like to call it the "saddle" because I picture
it that way.)
3.
The "confrontation seat" or
"hot seat" is where your desire is to hurt or punish.
4.
The "withdrawal seat" is actually
the most destructive. Besides being as
manipulative as the hot seat, we tend to multiply negative thoughts and either
become self destructive, or turn to others who are outside of the relationship.
To help others out of seat # 4, we
should encourage them, rather than reward them, so they will be self motivated
and not feel justified. The ideal is to
switch between the first two seats, even when you are enticed to, or want to, get
out of them. The trick in relationships
with others, is to be able to agree on how much time is spent in the love seat,
and when. Like a plant, we shouldn't
wait until it is wilting and then dump a bucket of water on it. I hope this gives a simple way to think
about things when they are happening because it is easier to change a seat than
change a mood. (From an alumni lecture
at Weber State University.)
4) Know Your Religion:
Marriage
Learning gospel doctrines brings greater change than learning techniques. Here are four doctrines that can be applied to families.
1. First he said that counseling shows that rebellious children are usually a product of either too little structure, or too much. He explained that learning about the war in heaven, and Satan's plan, shows how force is not the right way.
2. Second, he gave three sources saying Sec. 121 (especially verses 41-44) of the Doctrine and Covenants is one of the most important revelations ever given. It begins by listing 7 ways in which power or influence is to be used: persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, and love (genuine) unfeigned, kindness, and pure knowledge (knowing truth, and the human inheritance and potential). Then he explained one of the most misunderstood verses (verse 43) by defining these words: "reproving" means correcting; "betimes" means early; "with sharpness" means to bring into focus, or clarify; "when moved upon by the Holy Ghost" means using one of the above 7 techniques. (My translation: as soon as possible, instruct in the spirit of love.)
3. The third example he suggested was the doctrine of the mote and the beam found in Matthew and Luke. After one works first to remove the beam from their own eye, then they can see clearly the mote in another. This will put into perspective the size of the mote, and it often disappears.
4. The fourth doctrine he referred to was the Proclamation on Families document, and he said to read it over until you are inspired on how to apply it to yourself. (One paragraph describes nine attributes of successful families.)
A study was described where husband and wives, in an argument, were monitored (pulse, breathing, perspiration). Although the men were far more likely to withdraw, they showed the physical symptoms of anger the soonest, suggesting that the withdrawal was a safety valve. The women were slower to anger although they "appeared" the most angry. He divided the couples into three categories: withdrawn and don't communicate; validating and cooperative; and volatile and explosive. Although the middle type seems the best, all of the relationships worked if positive experiences outweighed negative ones, 5 to 1. (The first group had the least of both negative and positive experiences, and the last group had the most of both.)
5) My Scripture
Marking Technique
1. Underline in red the phrases, positive ones, that can be applied today (whole verses only when necessary).
2. In blue, underline just the phrases that follow the plot and can be read consecutively. This helps highlight the storyline when looking back.
3. Number things in the margin that make up lists.
4. Highlight over a word or phrase that is significant to the message.
5. Take down simple notes to keep track of the storyline, as in the chapter headings. (See "Book of Mormon" page below for my example.)
I mark a lot--it's hard to
leave things out. When it's done the
marked parts are a condensed version of the story.
6) My Word Processing Practice Lesson
The first link below is a document with two recipes on it. The second link has the instructions for making this document. The last two links explain Word Processing and computer terms.
Instructions for "2 Recipe" document
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