Chapter 14 Shea found Kari sitting in her car.  She opened the passenger side door and joined her.  "Are you always going to run away?", she asked very bluntly.  "I’m not running away.", Kari snapped.  "Well then what would you call that?", Shea asked.  "I just don’t think that’s the place to be fighting.", Kari started, "Or that I have any right to be fighting.  She’s completely right.  If I was her I’d want to kick my ass too.  She traveled all the way across the country to see him.  She loves him, Shea.  I had no right to do what I did.  I was selfish.  I needed someone and he was there.  That’s it."  "Do you really believe that?  That’s all it was?", Shea asked knowing the truth.  "Yeah.", Kari responded half heartedly.  "So, if it had been Matt or Jason that had come up to your room, you would have slept with them instead?", Shea asked.  Kari remained silent a she pondered what her friend had said.  She knew that Shea was right.  There was more to it than she wanted to admit, ‘I guess so."  "I don’t believe you, Kari.  And neither do you.", Shea quipped, ‘So when you decide to take a chance and listen to YOUR heart for once, there’s a great guy right inside that building waiting for you.  I’m sure she’s a sweet girl and maybe she doesn’t deserve to be hurt this way, but the fact remains that he loves you.  He honestly loves you."  "How can he love me?  He doesn’t know me.  He loves the girl that I use to be.", Kari said turning to stare out the window.  Shea smiled, "I’m sure you haven’t changed that much.  You’re still the same person that you were when I met you.  And if you’re willing to pass up what may be your one chance at true love, well than you’re not the person that I thought you were."  And with that, Shea exited the car and went back inside the building.  Kari sat in shock.  There was so much that she needed to sort out.  Everything had happened so fast that her head was spinning.  Not even realizing what she was doing, she started the car and drove away.  She was so lost in thought that it was a wonder that she didn’t have a wreck.  It was almost as if her car was on auto pilot as it began the journey back.  Kari snapped out of her daze as she found herself turning onto a gravel road that she knew all too well.  She pulled her car up to the edge of the cliff and shut it off.  She got out and sat down letting her legs dangle over the side of the cliff.  The sight was breath taking.  The moonlight mesmerized her as it danced across the waves.  The clear night sky allowed the stars to shine brightly.  This place always relaxed her.  It reminded her of her ‘thinking place’ back in Cameron.  No matter where Kari was,  what town or country she was in, she always made sure that she found a place like that to go to when she needed to get away.  It was so much easier to think without the hustle and bustle surrounding her.  And boy did she have a lot to think about.  She had been sitting there for what seemed to her to be only a few minutes.  But in all actuality, she had been sitting there for a couple of hours.  She didn’t notice the headlights as a car pulled up to park beside hers.  She didn’t notice anyone was there until she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see Jason having a seat beside her.  He draped his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.  " I really have to quit telling people where my secret spots are.", she said slightly laughing.  "Doesn’t matter.  I’d find you anyway.  Remember, we share a brain.", he said causing them both to laugh.  "You okay?", he asked.  "I just don’t know what to do.", she stated.  "Well, how do you feel about him?", he asked genuinely.  "That’s just it.  I don’t know.  I mean, he’s Jeff.  I keep remembering this little boy that I called ‘Squirt’.  The same little boy that I helped take care of.  The same little boy that I felt was my family.  And then all of a sudden I see him again and he’s all grown up.  And I find out that he’s madly in love with me.  And then I read all this stuff that he wrote and it’s like I’ve met a completely different person.  He feels so much.  It’s almost as if his words wrapped themselves around my heart and won’t let go.  Maybe I’m just lonely and I want so much to be loved that I’m creating all of this myself.", she revealed, "And besides, there’s Kristin.  I know what it feels like.  I’ve been right where she is and I know how much it hurts.  I don’t want to be the cause of that pain.  I just wish I knew what to do."  "Do you want my honest opinion?", he asked.  "Do I have a choice?", she rebutted with a grin.  "Of course not.", he began with a smile, "Kari, we only live one life.  I know that you are a kind and good person, that you don’t want to hurt anyone.  But if you always look out for everyone else’s feelings, then you’ll never find that love that you’re so desperately searching for.  I honestly think that this is your real shot at happiness.  If you decide to spare her feelings, then you hurt yourself and Jeff.  If you decide to go with your feelings, then Kristin gets hurt.  No one can make this decision for you.  But just know that my money is on Jeff - all the way to the bank."  Kari smiled as she said, "you’re right."  Jason pretended to be shocked as he said, "Stop the presses!  Kari Knight actually said that I was right.  I don’t think that’s ever happened before."  "And it won’t happen again.", she said proudly.  They both laughed.  "So……what do I do now?", she asked.  "I’d say you and Jeff need to sit down and talk.", he suggested.  "Okay, I’ll call him when I get home.", she said.  "Or you could talk to him now.  He’s sitting right back there in the car.", he said with a look of pleasure on his face as he watched the color drain from hers.  "What?!?  Why didn’t you tell me.", she demanded as she felt her stomach rising into her throat.  "Well, I had to decide whether I had done a good thing or a bad thing before I told you.", he said as he stood up, "and I guess once again, I have done a good thing."  He kissed her on the top of the head, "I’ll see you at home later."  She looked up at him, "Thanks, Hon - as usual."  He smiled and walked back towards the car.  She heard his door shut as another one opened.  He started the car and drove away.  Jeff replaced Jason in the spot next to Kari.  It felt to her like there were five thousand butterflies fluttering in her stomach.          Last Chapter ..*.. 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