On a much lighter subject – you getting married – almost can’t believe it. Patti sounds like a really great girl. I hope that us still here in hell can visit you soon – maybe even make it to the wedding – if we’re lucky. I said almost because you’re a good egg Radar. Kind, warm, loving and still have that child-like nature to you. I know Hawkeye is like a brother to you as you are to him, and that you’ve known him longer than me. But I hope that in these 2 years or so that I’ve known you, that you could consider me as a brother. You were always like a brother to me Radar – not a pet as Hawkeye often joked about. You do know he was joking? Of course you do – you’re a smart kid. Well maybe not a kid, but you’re still smart.
The others have probably all written by now about the news around here. Charles is almost human. Potter and Mulcahy are the same, Klinger’s section 8’s have stopped – and he’s a Sergeant now! I’m doing all right, I heard from Peg via phone and so happy to hear from her; and the biggest news of all – Hawkeye and Margaret. No matter how much Hawk and ferret face hated each other; He and Margaret were more of a nemesis. Whooda thought they’d be married…to each other. I knew they’d been seeing each other for – well since just after you left. Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy and myself were the only guests at their wedding 3 weeks ago. They went to Hawaii for their honeymoon for 10 days, which turned into 11 then 12, 13, 14 and soon 18 days later – finally, they return. Both with a glowing tan, huge smiles on their faces and in full civvies. Oh and both with charges. Margaret’s actually a fantastic practical joker. She and Hawkeye got me bad the other day. Just childish pranks. But if you’re in the mood, it’s the funniest thing to happen. Hawkeye moved into Margaret’s tent about 3 months ago, and to fill in the empty space in the Swamp – we set up a bar.
Anyway Charles was in Post Op till 6 and Potter after him. So the devious duo (that’s the name we gave them) sneak in at around 6am (I guess they had planned this for some time because Hawkeye is not known to get up before 11) and sedated me. Then – Go) and sedated me. Then – God Margaret must be strong – they lift my cot – with me in it, over to Sophie’s stable – with nothing but a towel and a pillow. I mean NOTHING. Potter had already had his morning ride and so their joke wouldn’t be interrupted. They had informed the entire camp that a special event would happen at the stables at around 7am. Being as curious as we all are, everyone turned up – except for I think Potter, and one of the nurses. It was at this time that the sedative was starting to wear off. As I began to look at my surroundings I suddenly realised that I wasn’t in the Swamp anymore. I jumped up in surprise only to reveal…Well everything to the entire camp. Grabbing the towel, so began many numerous cheers, catcalls, whistles, laughter and I think one or two requests to ‘take it off’. I then see those 2 responsible – cheering, whistling and laughing, both in robes with their arms around one-another. I was so angry. I wrap what would be called a towel around my waist, calmly walk out of the stable and chase after them. I manage to tackle Hawkeye without losing the towel, whilst he is yelling “Save yourself baby – RUN!!!” Margaret being more athletic than Hawk and me put together, runs to a safe distance whilst I still have Hawkeye tackled to the ground as the cheering and laughter continues.
Why did they do it? Well I guess they weren’t too pleased about the dead rats and a snake in their bed, which at the time was about to be occupied by them both in a very…well interesting circumstance. I didn’t know Margaret was scared of snakes. But they didn’t have to publicly embarrass me in front of the whole camp. I’m still working on the revenge attack. Something involving them and a shower I think. I guess this is only the beginning for them and their numerous amounts of practical jokes.
We’re having a no-talent show next week while Potter’s away. Klinger’s doing a fashion show with the nurses – no he’s not in it, just the announcer. Charles is only judging “I will not join you in this little – show as it is against my better judgment to get up in front of people and make a complete fool out of myself. I will however offer to be judge, just to tell you how ridiculous you all look.” With an offer like that who could refuse? Father Mulcahy’s our music man – he’s been practising for weeks. I’m gonna be in two numbers. One is a magic show with the lovely Kellye as my assistant. The other is a song with Hawkeye & Margaret. She’s actually a fantastic singer. Her and Hawk together makes a great sound too.
Before I wrap this up, I want to say (in case Hawk doesn’t), you may be surprised to receive a letter from Margaret. The army made her a certain way – not for the best either. Although she’s been in it since well before birth it always brought out a hard, strict sometimes-mean person in her. She’s still trying to adapt to people after all these years (if I say how many – she may kill me!). After her divorce – Donald not Hawkeye, nothing can separate those two – she receded into her ‘shell’ (no pun intended) and refused to become close to people. Only through Hawkeye and her friends – us – has she become the beautiful person we all know and love. Margaret’s really sorry about the way she treated you. She’s kinda upset too – she considers you a close friend. Just give it time. She and Hawkeye really love each other; with him around it’s like Major Houlihan never existed!
You keep in touch Radar. I want a letter back telling me what you think about things here. You have brains – use them. Now that’s an order, and the only one to come from me ever. Plenty from your wife though. A little hint – follow them ALWAYS. Enjoy married life – it’s a great thing.
See ya soon
Your buddy
BJ
