Since you left 9 moths ago…ah 9 months – but I’ll get to that later. As I said since you went back to civilisation, work has been up, sleep has been down, and we’ve bugged out 6 times. I myself have nearly had a heart attack many a time. On four very different occasions; I was confronted by North Koreans, Chinese, Guerrillas, and a certain gorgeous Major! The last one I enjoy though. Many close calls in OR, a grenade – no – a Chinese grenade minus the pin which sounds frightening enough, but to add serious insult to it, the person who was holding everyone’s lives in their hands – me – hadn’t had a drink in 5 days and totally suffering from the repercussions.
Yet another close call involved a disturbed patient minor wounds, but very strong, Charles’ patient. BJ was having trouble with his patient so Charles goes to assist, as Potter was in the middle of his and I was just finishing mine. Baker was assisting Charles and was having trouble containing the frightened man. I tell Margaret (whose assisting me) to help her until the corpsman comes. She walks over and in her cool calm (and sexy) voice, tries to control him. So to say thankyou, he grabs the first thing he could find and stabs her with it. Of course it had to be a scalpel. She gives out a cold-blooded scream, which would send chills up your spine…it still does to me just thinking about it, and this all happened 7 months ago. I cry out her name and catch her just as she collapses. I get her on my table; everyone’s frantic but having to continue with their own patients. We get her shirt cut to see that she’s been hit deep in her right side. Knowing that she no longer has an appendix, I guessed her spleen was rupturing. They get her under and Kellye and I get to work. My diagnosis was spot on. 5 minutes into the operation, her pressure starts dropping – which didn’t help my already frantic, terrified state of mind. We get her stabilised and finish without any more difficulties. As soon as she was closed, I ran outside to empty everything I’ve ever eaten.
I’m still sorry about the similar situation I had with you. This was different though, you knew you were (and still are) a close friend, she didn’t know how much of a friend she was to me.
Back to the story, there were around 20-wounded left Potter said they’d handle it. BJ knew how I felt and Charles was (and still does) feeling morbidly guilty about it, after all it was his patient they had no gripes about it. I went and sat by her bed for the next 5 hours holding her hand. When she finally did wake, the deluge was over and everyone was in bed asleep – including me – asleep, but not in bed.
The whole ordeal had made me sick to the point of total exhaustion and fatigue. I felt her move in my hand and I jolted awake.
What you must understand here Radar is that I had thought of our very own Major in more than a platonic friendship for about a year now. I was and still am very much in love with her to the point of addiction. I had never felt this way about any woman before, and it scared me. The longest relationship I ever had last just over a year. There were only 3 other women I ever felt anything for. Kyong Soon, Inga and of course Carlye. I only ever loved 2 women, but I was only in love with one. Carlye believed I was married to my work and she would always take a backseat to it – I guess I was. Kyong Soon knew nothing could come of it - she had people to look after and unlike me, didn’t have a safe home to go to, She was stuck in Korea. Inga I think goes by the old saying first impressions. I couldn’t handle the possibility of a woman being smarter than me, especially in medicine. She also realised that nothing could come of it. She had her own life in Sweden and I had mine in Maine.
They say Radar that people improve on their past mistakes. I agree in most cases they do. Medically we are advancing faster than ever before. Politically…well we’re fighting the third war this century so that’s one area that doesn’t agree with the theory. It will advance – maybe not for the best, but it will. Love. Love is the one thing that I’m not sure about. Although I have learnt in my mistakes with Kyong Soon, Inga and mostly with Inga, I still feel love. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing – no never. On the other hand, I have only ever been in love once – and god willing only ever once. So I guess I do learn from my mistakes.
I guess by now you’re wondering why I’m telling you all this? When I first met you almost three years ago I thought, “what the hell is this kid doing in the middle of a war? He’s barely out of school, and never been outside his home state”. Radar this may sound dumb if not stupid, but I’m glad you came. I got given the chance to pass on my knowledge to you. I never got the little brother I always wanted. I feel closer to you than I do most of my family. This place also helped you I think. It gave you a chance to find out about the real world and about life. I know you have a close family, and I know your older brother was killed in WW2. But I hope I was much a brother to you as he is still. I’ve watched you grow in awe. From a naive 18 year old just out of school and, from his family for the first time and being thrown into a War. To a man, who coped with the situation better than me at most times, who has learnt to stick up for himself, to try new things and who has even helped in surgery. I think you are an amazing person Radar. I have only the deepest respect for you. It at first surprised me how you coped with all the despair, misery and death around, as I nearly lost the plot many times. You came as a boy, but left as a man. And now you’re getting married. I’m proud of you – Walter.
Back to the story. I wake up to see her lying there smiling at me, I smile back. The first thing she said to me was “How the hell did I end up here?” I just laughed and laughed, held her close and said “Don’t you dare ever try to do that to me again”. At this point both of us were laughing with tears of joy and relief. I think we both had a mutual understanding that this was love (or something close to it). I stared into her ice-blue eyes as she stared into mine. “You know what Hawkeye” “Yes” I replied. “I could really use a drink”. I couldn’t help but roar with laughter again. “Come ‘ere” I muttered as I kissed her. She (thankfully) kissed me back. It felt like an eternity. I can understand how this sounds weird to you, but she’s changed a lot after you left. Two days later when I was satisfied that she was out of the woods; I moved her back to her tent. Things were wonderful between us. People knew what we were and I guess also knew what we were doing. We were like newlyweds, so enravelled in one another. Very ‘lovey-dovey’ (as BJ calls it), to the point where I think the entire camp told us to “tone it down and take it somewhere private”. They could handle the playful tackling, tickling, handholding, waist grabbing and giggling, but I think it was the public tonsillectomy in the mess tent that prompted them. It’s not our fault that they can’t handle their lunch. 3 months ago I moved in only because I slept in the Swamp once I think, because she was sick. And also that BJ caught us with well…not too much on. But anyway I don’t want to scar you for life with the details.
2 months ago, I proposed. We had been on a 4-day ‘conference’ in Tokyo. Never left the hotel room, well…on the last night we had been very busy – partying and dancing NOT what you were thinking. Margaret was dead tired; me now favouring early nights fell asleep with her sleeping soundly next to me. Whilst being with me for then 5 months, Margaret lost her sense of the army. Not only is she frequently out of uniform (which kinda pissed her dad off when he visited), but also she isn’t getting up at the crack of dawn everyday anymore. Her wake up time is a little more humane 10 instead of 6.
So it was around 9 in the morning when I woke up feeling rather well and not being able to sleep much more, I went out for a walk. Soon my obsession with thought took over and not for the first time, I was thinking about me and Margaret and what it would be like to be married. I had been thinking about proposing for some months now, and then seemed as best time as ever. So passing a jeweller I bought the ring she’s been wearing for 2 months. I get back to the hotel and she’s (finally) awake. Surprised to see that I was out, she asks where I was. “Just out for a walk” I tell her.
A week after we get back, everyone’s in the mess tent. The gang’s at the table discussing, oh I dunno, better toilet paper? Whilst Margaret and I are discussing leaving and doing something…more fun. I knew that this was the perfect opportunity. She had just finished mentioning something about rubber gloves and an ice cube – which I’ll admit sounded fun (and is, but again – I don’t want to scar you), when I stand up suddenly, quite a shock to her. I’ll write this as a dialogue, easier to understand. (H: Me, M: Margaret, B: BJ)
M: “Don’t like my idea then? What’s wrong Hawk?”
H: “Excuse me, can I have everyone’s attention? There is something I must declare in front of everybody here. As you all know, for the past few months I have been seeing the most wonderful, most beautiful woman in the world”.
(One of the men says)“I knew my gal was cheatin’ on me”. Which everyone ended up laughing.
H: “And there has been an issue I have needed to sort out for many months now and this seems the best time to do it”. I turn to face Margaret. “Margaret, for the past 2 or so years we have toiled together, worked together, laughed together, cried together.”
B: “Slept together?” (laughter)
H: “Well…yeah. (Even more laughter) You have captured my heart and my soul. You are the one who is in my thoughts of every second of everyday.”
B: “How can he possibly work then?” (laughter again)
H: “and will be forever. You’re my life, my world, my heart, my soul, my rock through this hell, which the only upside to it would be that I found you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I you being yours, as I love you being mine. And I love you because you are you.” At this point I kneel down in front of her and pull out the ring-box. “Margaret Houlihan…” I open the box. “Will you marry me?”
I could see she was about to burst into tears, as everyone at the table had smiles on their faces. She was speechless and after what seems an eternity, she finally speaks. With a huge smile over her face…
M: “Yes.”
H: “Yes?”
M: “Yes I will marry you.” I jump up and pull her with me and spin her round as cheers and applauding fill the tent.
H: “I love you Margaret.” M: “I love you too Hawkeye.”
And with no objections this time, we kiss, adding to the applause.
H: “And just to seal the deal…” I put the ring on her finger.
M: “Oh Hawkeye it’s beautiful”.
H: “Just like the one who’s wearing it.” She puts her arms around my neck and in the heat of the romantic mood…
M: “You really wanna get lucky tonight don’t cha?” Her sense of humour is somewhat…unique if not perverse. H: “I think I’ve got all the luck I need right here…”(in a quieter tone) “but anything else is gratefully welcomed. Maybe even those gloves and ice” She pulls in for a forcible kiss as people are congratulating us all around.
People are generally happy and cheerful when…Choppers come
H: “Dammit”
M: “Oh Hell”
P: “Well kids, we’ll continue this celebration later. Congratulations to you both.”
H/M: “Thanks Colonel.”
Oh Radar – my better half would like to say something…
M. Hey – again. I don’t know what other perverse things my dear husband has been saying, I’d rather keep our private life just that. Staring over his shoulder just now about what he’s said about me. I’d just like to say ‘My sense of humour is NOT PERVERSE’. Neither is it unique, I learnt most of it from my other half. I think I’ve just boosted his ego 10 fold – his face is all red (HA HA)!!!
H. It is not – don’t listen to her Radar, my ego’s just fine
M. Yeah it is-------------------------- Sorry, about that, I was momentarily interrupted by being tackled by my ex.
H. Real funny Maggie, you can go now.
M. This is MY tent.
H. OUR tent
M. It was MINE first
H. Why are we writing this?
M. So Radar will feel at home. Do you Radar?
H. Margaret he can’t answer you!
M. Stop laughing he can so. It’ll just take a while. Ignoring him Radar – don’t mind us we’re just
H. A bunch of misfits?
M. I was going to say nutcases, but misfits will do. Well seeing that this is Hawk’s letter, I’ll let him get back to it. Come see us sometime. All 3 of us. Anyway love ya kid – Maggie Pierce.
H. Whata woman! She’s all mine (yay!), and you’ve got your own gal, so HANDS OFF!
Back to the story, 1 ½ months go by and a date isn’t set. We both agreed that since we were brought together over here, there should be one wedding here, and one back in the states. It’d take the paperwork that long anyway. We both also wanted a private ceremony here with our closest friends. Everyone else could see the one back home. Tokyo seemed a great idea. We asked BJ, Potter, Charles and Mulcahy to be there. Potter wanted someone to stay and show the temporary replacements around. Charles offered as BJ’s my best friend and Potter’s like a father to us. Margaret’s own father couldn’t be there. Or as she figured, he didn’t want to be there. He doesn’t like my ‘unmilitary influence’ over her, nor does he like me. It was a beach wedding at sunset, Informal of course. The guys in Hawaiian shirts and shorts and Margaret in a gorgeous summer dress. After it was finished, we all went back to the hotel to celebrate. A rather quick celebration, because we were catching a flight to Hawaii the next morning, and the others were going back to camp early too. Everyone headed off to be whilst we, well…I’ll let you find out on your honeymoon! S
peaking of honeymoons we went to Hawaii, booked the honeymoon suite with balcony and full light of the sun. We were due to stay for 10 days. I’ll just say that in that time we left the hotel room…maybe three times. In those three times we spent with my father, who managed a flight and stay for 3 days. After 2 1/5 years it was so great to see him. We hugged for several minutes and he then turned to Margaret and did the same. He really likes her (hey who doesn’t), and I’m glad he approves, and she really likes him too. He leaves day six. By the 10th day, Margaret was a little unhappy that we hadn’t done any sight seeing or shopping (or partying – but I was more interested in that.)
So we ended up staying 4 days longer for sightseeing, shopping AND partying. We then both agreed that whilst in Hawaii, we should check out the beaches.
So for another 3 days we spent most of it on the beaches. Being a week overdue, we decided that maybe we should go back. AWOL isn’t good on anyone’s record – not even mine. So we packed – which ended up taking hours. Not because of the amount of souvenirs bought, but because Margaret was in the mood for…television (HA HA – likely story). So by day 18, we get a flight straight to Kimpo and headed back to hell.
After many greetings, congratulations and cheers that we were back, we both stalked into Potter’s office, full civvies and in big trouble. Apparently we both were up on charges of unlawful conduct and disturbing the peace. Not to mention the fact that we were 8 days late. My replacement was not happy – he wasn’t that greater surgeon either I heard. Potter convinced whichever general we annoyed to drop the charges and so we’ve lived happily ever after, mind you it’s only been a week.
Guess what??? I’m gonna be a daddy! Yep Margaret’s pregnant – for real this time. It’s the best feeling in the world, you’ll understand this when you have kids.
I’ve been writing this for 2 days now and I still have said it. Congratulations kiddo. Wish I could be there but hey, you can still come to mine! Patti sounds great for you as you will be for her. We all wanna meet this lovely lady who stole lil’ Radar from us! I don’t care if you’re 20, 50 or 90 – you’re still kiddo to me. I guess you’ve already started the wedding plans, but can I give you some advice:
1. Let her be in charge. You try and take over and you’ll be run down.
2. Agree with everything she says. I did that mistake – I was lucky to get away with both arms still in place.
3. Don’t give up – even if you find yourself up shit creek DEFINITELY without a paddle – remind her it will work out.
Well it’s now 9 pm here, and there’s still much more I haven’t covered. Potter wants these mailed tomorrow so I’ll be quick in my rambling.
- Charles Emerson Winchester is Human
- A call from Peg fixes BJ like a Martini does for me
- Colonel Potter has great hearing (sometimes he wishes he didn’t though)
- Klinger is a guy – and very capable at your job’
- Father Mulcahy knows everything
- The nurses are still thanking Margaret for marrying me. I didn’t know I was THAT bad.
We’re having a no-talent show next week while Potter’s away.
* Klinger’s running a fashion show with the nurses (and my nurse too).
* Mulcahy is our Tunes Man.
* Charles is judging (spoil sport).
* I’m telling really really bad jokes.
* Me, Beej and Maggie (cute eh?) are doing the finale – a final singing showdown.
* We’re also doing a silent movie – that is if we get off our ass and start practising.
Radar you are constantly in my thoughts. I never had someone as close to me as family other than my father, Margaret, BJ and you. Before I wind this up there’s 3 more things you need to know.
1. Margaret’s really sorry about how she’s treated you. Please forgive her. Guilt for her isn’t good at this time.
2. Use your brains for God sake. You have them – so don’t waste them. A vet sounds really great.
3. We really (me and Maggie) pulled a great one on BJ. Consisting of a cot, a towel, a pillow, a stable and the whole camp! But I must say in our defence that 2 dead rats and a snake is not a good thing to find in your bed when you’re…going to sleep (among other things). I know he’s plotting something, but my paranoia rate is slightly elevated at the moment – expecting as we both are.
I know some things in here may make you feel uncomfortable – mainly the whole me and Margaret thing…you’re lucky I didn’t mention our sex life! BJ isn’t that lucky though (We know how to get rid of him now!) I’m just kidding Radar (not the BJ thing), I don’t need you having nightmares about us. Keep safe, keep well, keep Patti, and keep in touch and good luck with the farm. Park Sung’s a great kid – reminds me of Ho-Jon a bit. Wait, the missus is back.
H. Hello dearest, I was just finishing the letter
M. I was just finishing the emptying of my stomach
H. AGAIN – morning sickness?
M. At 9 O’clock at night? Well the food’s not getting any worse
H. How can you tell?
M. 11 years buddy
H. Ah ha. Well it’s morning in Maine, or Iowa I think; well it’s morning somewhere.
M. Probably, I know I already said see ya Radar, but I just wanted to say we all love you and miss you but we’re all glad you’re home and safe and happy.
H. It’s a known fact Radar, that pregnancy can turn even the meanest Majors into sentimental mentals.
M. I’m not the one who talks into my stomach now am I? Ha – he’s all read now!
H. You’re the one who’s stuck with her for the next 8 months (we started kids early)
M. Unknowingly of course. Hawkeye swears the baby’s a girl.
H. Honestly – she is. An Old Italian Tradition. (as you know – half Irish, half Italian)
M. Which explains his intelligence – or there lack of.
H. Hey – you’re ¾ Irish – I’m only half dumb (other ¼ Polish!)
M. I’ll get him later. Anyway see ya – again. Give my love to Patti.
H. Just us again. Anyway Radar, I guess I’ll be going now, there really isn’t much else to say…Plus Margaret’s getting changed and it’s always fun to watch!
Seriously though, I do miss you – heaps. Thanks for the bear – Walter (you’re still Radar to me). OOOOOH shirt’s off! Remember, I always joke when it comes to the mushy parts. I’d better go before this letter gets anymore heated.
So long little brother
Love always
Your Big Brother – Hawkeye
Aka Dr Benjamin Franklin definitely not Captain Pierce
