A guide to the people who make up Saint Matthias Campus
Who are they?
They're a small posse of dedicated men who you'll see wandering around in UWE jackets from time to time. They all have thick Bristolian accents, and at least one of them played up front for Bristol Rovers back in the days when they were good (or less crap than they are now, anyway).
So what do they do?
Pretty much run the campus, from what I can see. Mowing the quad, driving the minibuses, moving heavy stuff around, making repairs when bits of the Principal's House fall apart, they do it all.
So they don't have much spare time, then?
You wouldn't think so, would you? But actually, they spend a huge amount of time sitting in the porter's lodge drinking tea.
Why's that?
Well, you see, whenever there's a student activity on in the evenings, like drama rehearsals and stuff, one of them has to hang around to lock up when they've finished. So instead of going home to his lovely wife and kiddies, the unlucky porter has to hang around until late at night, by himself, with nothing to do except read the paper and drink the aforementioned tea.
Wow! That's harsh!
It is, isn't it?
I think I love the porters.
I think I do too.
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