Year 2004 has passed, praise God! If I ever ponder on the things happened in the past year, 2004, I was thinking, wow... There were a lot of things, trials, storms, tribulations, all the negative things, that have passed in my life and my family's life. It's like, in every quarter or worse, in every single month, a storm with a high signal should happen. I wonder why...
In the beginning of the year, we had to talk to my daughter's school principal for a request of reconsideration since our check bounced because of some financial company who mishandled my account and in turn, denied my application for cash loan late this year, supposed to be for my Christmas shopping. Second quarter was getting worse, I was transferred to a department and was assigned to a different boss, a boss whom I will never ever forget. No words can describe him. He's not demanding nor he's bossy nor he's cheap, but he's the kind of boss you will never ever wanna work with, ever. I don't know what to say, he's just different... I've worked with a lot of bosses already, some were strong, some were really demanding, some has even high blood pressure all the time, some naughty and some were even perverts, name it! But this one is totally different.
Since this story is not about my boss, I needed to say that my third quarter was unpleasanter than the previous one. Damaging if I may say... My own flesh and blood, which is my Aunt, my Father's sister, disclaimed me and my husband, not in a way of disowning me as her family member, though her husband did, even threatened me of trespassing if I ever attempted going to their place, for a misconstrued business transaction. So am I a thief now? I knew she loved her husband that much to the point that she believed in every word he says so even if I also knew that she did not mean to disclaim me but her husband did, she's somehow compelled anyway. I knew it and I can understand. That's her spouse, naturally, you are one, if God did bind you together. The story's kind of complicated and too long to discuss but the saddest thing here is, my Aunt, who is a devoted "Born again Christian" was compelled to also get furious with me and my whole family and did not treat me as her own flesh and blood. Her husband did not trust me and my husband enough that he prompted himself and my Aunt to not return my Video Camera they borrowed from me unless we sell or buy their car at their desired amount, even treated my husband like a silly, useless idiot. This was the most humiliating and most hurtful thing ever happened to me this year. I cannot imagine my own Christian Aunt to ever treat us this way.
Nevertheless, I love my Aunt sincerely, even missed her so much to the point that I wanted to apologize, regardless of whose fault was it anyway, so as to restore our good relationship. To be able to share laughter together and talk about our lives in a funny way. I do believe that God would restore this valuable relationship back and with more rejuvenation among us. Forgiveness is a must for without forgiveness, there is no restoration and blessings are blocked.
The following months might be described as more than worse, sicker would be the right term if I may say. Our car was sold, my company car has to be returned, and so we need to use public utility vehicles, after more than twelve years of having our own vehicle. We used to have 2 to 3 cars in our garage and so this is an entirely new endeavor for me and my family.
We need to understand that the villain here is not my Aunt nor my Brother nor my Uncle but satan of course. I guess he is too threatened of me. He has stolen a lot from me and my family. The bible says in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;" He does his very best to destroy me to pieces by all this condemnations and criticism business me and my family has to go through. Perhaps he knows what God's plans for me are and he knows where my ministry is that is why he is testing me to the utmost of his capacities. Yes it is difficult, very difficult indeed if I am operating in the way of the flesh. Human beings are prone to weaknesses and are by nature, self centered. If I will only think of "I was" or "I have" or "They did me this" I will never grow because these words will trigger self pitiness. In the way of the world, I could have returned evil for evil, an eye for an eye. Satan himself said this in Job 2:4-5, "...A man will give all he has for his own life. 5 But stretch out Your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse You to Your face." But this is not the way of God. This is not how the Kingdom of God functions. Job didn't even do this as satan has presumed.
I do believe that sometimes God allow these things to happen to His own children not to punish us but because He is so committed of transforming us into His own Son. God allows these tests to happen so that we will learn to still love Him and trust Him despite troubles. We need to learn to love and trust God even in the midst of problems. The Bible says Job have faithfully accepted his fate still with too much respect and love for God, revealed in Job 2:10.
I know that God wants me to discover how big He is compared to how big my trials are. Will I still love Him in the midst of much condemnations and distress? Will I still know that He is the one in control of my life? Am I still a hundred percent sure that He loves me? Yes indeed, says in Joshua 1:5, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Jesus spread His arms and died for you and me, that's how much God loves us. As the Author Andy Andrews said in The 7 Decisions for Success, "I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the future." And so he is right, I will also lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, because I know that I know that God has great plans for me this year. I will hold on to it, even if it means that I have to experience pain and humbling. My destiny is assured. With these, all problems become smaller no matter how big they are, because my God is surely infinite.
By: Maya Guzman Santos
