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You're a Hong Konger if you......
a pre-1997 joke
168 Ways to tell you are a Hong Konger

IMPORTANT: The following message is from the Hong Kong Newsgroup that is quite interesting if you have a Hong Kong background. However, please note that IT CONTAINS SOME MATERIAL WHICH MAY OFFEND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT FROM HONG KONG. Please do not read on if you think that you are may be offended by the jokes.

168 Ways to tell you are a HKer:

1. You are a British Dependent Territory Citizen
2. You have AMZY or AFZY on your HK Permanent ID card if you are over 18
3. You go to Chinese restaurants to "drink tea" every day
4. You have a nicely equipped Pentium with at least 16MB of RAM but no
    modem
5. You use "mail" instead of "PINE"
6. WE, HONG KONG PPL DON'T HAVE ANY ACCENT OF ANY KIND WHEN SPEAKING
    CANTONESE!!!!!!
7. You go to concerts more than going to church
8. Your backpack weighed more than 40 pounds since primary one
9. You love to put stickers with Chinese phrases on your car
10. Your regular slang includes: P.K.
11. You have "3 minutes heat" on anything
12. You don't spit
13. You wear a pair of oval-shaped glasses even though you don't really
    need one
14. You call your secondary male teachers AH-SIR
15. You call your secondary female teachers MISSEY
16. You prefer the green paper $10 than the two-metal $10 coin
17. You wish to join RHKPD when you were young.....
18. You have at least one nick name throughout your primary & secondary
    school
19. YOU ARE PROUD OF YOUR NATIONALITY------BDTC/BNO
20. You can drink alcoholic beverages LEGALLY when you are 18
21. You have "***" on your permanent ID card if you are born in Hong Kong
    and over age 18.
22. You like to drive Japanese/European cars but not American.
23. You know what "Form One Jai" mean
24. You don't call lottery as "lotto."  You call it as "Mark Six" instead
25. You are "inch"
26. You pretend you know Mandarin even though you DON'T
27. You only use the word "toilet," you never use the words "bathroom,"
    or "restroom."
28. You start singing karaoke when you were 5
29. You are an honor student in school (especially in America)
30. You are majoring in engineering or business management
31. You are an expert in MJ
32. You tip only 10% in Hong Kong
32. You prefer Sony or Aiwa
33. You have more than 10 cousins
34. You love HK style BBQ
35. You have once wished for a "Ding Dong's" magic stomach pocket
36. You don't know much about the "Basic Law"
37. You can't tell the difference between "Welcome" and "Wellcome"
38. You have many many credit cards
39. You usually have more than two VCRs at home
40. You think CD is an essential thing in your life
41. You love to wear famous brand clothes: DKNY, Versace, Chanel,
    Replay, etc.
42. You love to wear an oval shape of eye-glasses of the either brand:
    Giorgio Armani or Calvin Klein.
43. You watch LD more than you sleep
44. You love to gossip about HK entertainment
45. You like discos
46. You always go to "Karaoke" during Happy Hours
47. You watch both "Chinese" or "American" movies more than any
    nationalities in the world
48. You have a cellular phone
49. You hate the "Big Circles"
50. HONG KONG 4-ever!!!!!!
51. You drive Honda Accords
52. When you say "how are you" in Mandarin, you are actually saying some
    bad words........
53. You never do "french kiss" in the public.
54. You speak Cantonese loudly although there are many Americans around.
55. You only carry the latest model of cellular phone.
56. You drive your Honda with body kits.
57. You only browse "Next Magazine," "Ming Pao," and "Sing Tao" in WWW.
58. 12am is too early for you to sleep
59. 12pm is too early for you to wake up
60. You never study until the day before the quiz
#61-140 ways to tell you are a HKer
HK1