| A Word From Our Sponsors |
| Beer--It's What's For Dinner By the United Advocates for Alcohol |
| Attention all Americans! The time has come for all beer-loving citizens to take a stand against those who oppose us. Oh, you know who we’re talking about, those prissy holier-than-thou religious groups, the united soccer mom front, those “dry” jerks with their morals and their “I can have fun without beer!” attitudes. For Pete’s sake, this is America, not some beerless nation like...well, that’s the point! Who doesn’t have beer? Vigilant, dutiful beer drinkers across the nation have banded together to form the UAA—United Advocates for Alcohol. We figure, if there can be an organization that makes sure people have the right to bear arms, there should damn well be an organization that makes sure people have the right to bear beer without receiving insults from losers. Think about it. Beer. Lovely, sensuous beer. Golden, foamy, majestic...it’s like a river of happiness, straight to your central nervous system. Ahh...bliss. But will we submit to those who wish to deny us this sweet ambrosia? Those who would shut off the fountain of joy and replace it with nothing but sodas and fruit juices? WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! All Americans! Step forward and drink beer! Let the world see it! Let them see just how drunk America can get! Hell, we’ll even make Germany jealous! |
| HOLY CRAP GUYS, IT'S A POLL: What is Senator Lieberman Looking At? |
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| Just PRETEND there are clicky buttons, because Justin is STUPID and does not know how to actually make a poll! |
| STAFF! Master Justin--Editor in Chief Baron Vince--Managing Editor Baron Ziegfeld--Copy Editor Ludwig--Editor Editor Kou Cao--Very Special Editor The Experts--Are Somewhere Near Baghdad Right Now Thomas Setton--Was Recently Fired From His Janitorial Position In The French Embassy, Those Lousy French Turds United Advocates of Alcohol--Oh They're Out There, Believe You Me |
| 0 Al Gore, with whip 0 Mother-in-law 0 Giant Radioactive Cockroach 0 Trent Lott |