story

my story

at times in my life, i've thought it quite an unfortunate calling... to have a heart for the least of God's kingdom. the poor, the sick, the needy. but when one embarks on a journey into the hearts of these people that society considers the "least," they find the "greatest."

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    we were church-goers... and by we, i mean my mom, my older brother and i. every week, we'd dress up and walk to the local episcopal church - st. timothy's, roxborough - and go to sunday school. my mom taught sunday school. by the time i was old enough to question this, i questioned EVERYTHING. somehow, my sunday school teachers loved me.
in middle school, i decided i hated jesus. i hated getting dressed up to go to church, i hated that i was forced to go to sunday school. and i especially hated the organ music and hymns. my parents had become more than church-goers. i had wanted no part of this "christianity," but luckily, someone had bigger plans for me.
     in high school, my heart was opened to the poor, the oppressed and the run down. in middle school i had somehow become involved in philadelphia student protests, and my insubordination to "the system" was just strengthened in high school. in the church youth group, we helped in a homeless shelter and raised money for those in need. my parents took care of an elderly man named lester. in school i helped in food drives.
i couldn't pinpoint the exact time i decided not to hate jesus. i think it just happened. it made sense. one thing that i love about the episcopal church is the focus on helping people. on serving the least of god's kingdom.
      when i began college at north park university in chicago, i was called to work with young people in the surrounding community. i became involved in social justice movements, picking my "causes" carefully - racism, AIDS and poverty.
     in my second year at npu, i travelled to morelia, mexico to learn spanish. i didn't intend to make friends or fall in love with a culture - but i did. i volunteered in an orphanage and hung out with my new friends. morelia is far from the two-thirds world we think of when we think of poverty - but i got to travel to the villages and barrios that housed the poorest of the poor. all of whom opened their doors to me and showed me an immense amount of love and affection. just being there reason for the community to celebrate.

it was there, in mexico, lying on my bed, that i realized that god had greater plans for me. i just wasn't sure what. i had changed my major from biology/pre-med to english to spanish to math to history... i had no clue what i was going to do.
i came back to chicago, all the while trying to discern what it was that i was supposed to be doing. my friend megan had left school to become a missionary, and although i hated that word, it wasa vocation that was becoming more and more interesting to me.
i signed up for a short-term missions trip to guatemala, through my college. we prepared. kind of. well, not at all, really.

we sat in meetings and learned spanish children's songs and gave our testimonies. i gave up my 21st birthday to go to Guatemala and wasn't even allowed to have my first legal drink until i came home. when we got there, to san juan la laguna, i really felt like the whole trip was based on what was good for us as a group. we taught english (more on that later) and built in the afternoon. there was no community building, no chance to learn about the mayan people or their culture. i felt like the conquistadores of the past who had come and raped the mayans of their culture.
      i decided after that trip that i was never going to do missions work again. i would stick to the united states. i came back to school, and prepared applications to in country programs like americorps & teach for america. unfortunately, or fortunately depending on the way its looked at, the doors were not opened for me - but i received a phone call asking if i'd like to go to the dominican republic for a year through yasc. i went to the interview weekend and the rest is history. i'll be leaving in october, 2004.
     i've struggled a lot with the decision. i had great plans for me life - to be rich and prosperous... to publish books and teach high school english. i wanted a nice car and a plush house. i am very close to my family and leaving them will be really difficult. my final semester in college has been difficult in that i know that god is calling me to places where my friends will not be. it's like starting all over again. but i know, funnily enough, that i would not be happy in the lifestyle that envisioned for my self - that society envisioned for me, a smart, college graduate.
     my heart for the least of god's kingdom is an amazing gift. i didn't choose it, but i know that the people with whom i'm called to serve didn't choose their social status either. as christians we're called to love and care for each other... and really, that's all i have to give - love.