| Because they are so protected, children begin to feel invincible. They begin to use lying as a tool for their own amusement. Deviousness is packed with thrills, if you know how to play your cards right. My mother, in reminiscing about her childhood in the Philippines, recalled a time when she and her cousins all conspired against their nearly blind grandmother as a practical joke. The little girls wrapped a bunch of leaves in a white paper napkin and handed it to their grandmother on a plate, passing it off as a Filipino egg roll. They laughed hysterically as my great grandmother took a bite and screamed hysterically as she chased them around for a spanking. Though my mother realizes the unkindness of the joke now, I highly doubt that she regrets being one of the conspirators, evident by the mischievous grin that tugged on the corner of her mouth in retelling the story. Should parents scold their children for plotting practical jokes? No! These schemes are what the best memories are made of. Parents should applaud their kids for their cunning and ingenuity – especially if the joke is successful in completion. Children should make the most of the years when they can get away with mischief. Honestly (if you are able to trust me at this point), I did not follow these same teachings all the time; I was too guilt-ridden living under my mother’s watchful eye. My mother invoked more fear in me than even the law. I committed my first crime at the age of four. As my parents removed groceries from our cart to be checked out at the grocery store, I stood staring at the towering candy shelf, wide-eyed. After much deliberation, I selected a pack of plain M&M’s and held it up to my mom awaiting judgment. I was denied. “Put those back. We just bought cookies.” What she didn’t realize is that there is a world of difference between M&M’s and cookies. Justified in my pursuit and confident in my reasoning, I slipped the slim pack of candy-coated chocolates into my pocket. As if nothing happened, I took the pack out of my pocket after being properly fastened into the back seat and opened it. “Where did you get those??” “My pocket.” She tried to reprimand me, but all she could do was laugh. Deceit caught me at a young age – but I’m a fast learner. I’m not an advocate of shoplifting, but that memory has lasted in my mind for 17 years as a positive, comical one. Innocence wasn’t all encompassing – I knew I was breaking the rules. Children, after reaching a certain age, are conscious of what’s right and what’s wrong. But it has never been my philosophy that people should just accept the truths that are taught to them. A lesson learned first-hand is a lesson you are less likely to forget. Lying is an excellent way to learn a lot of lessons. Traveling the path of dishonesty should be seen more as self-exploration rather than treachery. The worst part about lying, particularly as a child, is being completely aware that you’re doing it. An unfailing twinge of guilt accompanies every little fib. Being taught that lying is wrong is probably the only thing that kept me honest, especially in a Catholic household. Number Nine was staring over my shoulder at all times. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” During confession, cramped in that enclosed box in which I knelt two feet away from complete clemency, the only thing that stuck in my mind, that I would consistently ask forgiveness for, was lying (other petty crimes would vary). Of course, once I had recited my three Hail Marys and one Our Father, only a short while would pass before I felt complete freedom to sin again. Adults would find much more offense in complete candor from children anyway. It’s not polite to tell someone that their breath is stinky or that their nose is huuuge. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Hypocrisy. The day before that Mom was saying that secrets are a form of lying. So which is it? Having to decipher each situation, each context is a pain that children shouldn’t have to bear. When they learn to lie in some situations and be honest in others is when children learn to spread rumors and beat around the bush, the distinguishing and horrible characteristic in adults. A quality that I scrutinize and find highly respectable in people is their ability to be straightforward. Ideally, we could all speak frankly and constructively with one another, but that is a far stretch from reality. People are accustomed to lying and being lied to. Paradoxically, children are shielded from that invaluable truth with falsity. If their aim is to create an archetype society, parents should teach kids one of two truths: 1) Lying is ok and skillful deceit is a valuable commodity or 2) The truth should be spoken at all times, regardless of etiquette and their own reputation. The enjoyment of life is the top priority. Deceptiveness is wasted on wearing masks of propriety. Children should revel in the riches their artificial reality – it has to be better than here. |
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| propaganda My Worldview 5.26.98 Maligayang Bati 10.5.00 The Devil, the Grape- fruit Diet and Fat Pants 11.14.00 Lies: Kid-tested, Mother-approved 8.6.01 |
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