warnings: abuse of HP characters, "Hints of Slash"
Day 41-42, Monday AND Tuesday
0415hrs
Voldemort is well enough today to take his usual early morning shower. Afterwards he ghosts down to the den and steals the vodka. He returns to the sun room and lies in wait.
0616:
Tonks is awaked by the feel of fur against her nose. She opens her eyes to see a squirrel sleeping on her chest
Tonks; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (it jumps down - she struggles out of bed and begins swatting at it with a pillow) OUT! OUT - WHERES MY SPRAY PAINT!!? (reaches for can furiously)
Next door:
Black: (opens crusty eye) eghh?
Snape(sardonically): 11-9.
Black: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah (starts to chuckle, breaks into coughing fit)
Lupin: meghmm?
0800hrs
Black: mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooony-
Lupin: rrrmmmm..?
Snape(from under covers): quiet!
Black: can we go to breakfast today?
Lupin: imgonta sleep in...
Black: all right..maybe i'll get up
0830hrs
Professor Dumbledore is attempting to cook hash browns and french toast at the same time. The tea kettle begins to whistle-
Dumbledore: Ah.. tea's ready! (removes it from stove to counter next to pot; pours it in - the pot cracks) Oh...! I could have sworn I warmed it up first... ah.. (glances around for another pot; rummages in cupboard) I thought there was another one here... Accio-- (stops himself with a grin) No, not resorting to that, Albus.... (suddenly the distinct odor of burned potatoes reaches him; he spins around) Oh...! (jogs back to stove, tries to disattach the hash browns from the bottom of the pan - the french toast begs to be flipped as well) Where is Nymphadora today? And Remus? It's not even the full moon....
1430hs
Voldemort sweeps into the kitchen where Draco is seated playing solitaire.
Voldemort: Child.
Draco: (looks up) Yes?
Voldemort: would you like some.. orange juice?
Draco: Sure.
Voldemort: I ... thought I'd take some; muggles believe it's healthy. (gets out two glasses and the orange juice, fills Draco's glass half with vodka first; hesistates a moment before pouring some into his own glass. brings them to table) Ahhh, let us toast to health!
Draco(flatly): Here's to health (raises glass, takes sip, smirks) What kind of orange juice is this?
Voldemort: (sniffs): Does yours taste a little odd? Mine does too - perhaps it's old...
Draco: ah.. (shrugs)
1510hrs
Lupin finally drags himself from bed; Snape and Black have already rejoined civilization. Lupin decides to take a shower despite the cold water ("maybe it'll wake me up.") Now he leaves his room - finally notices the unusually colored wall..
Lupin: what the...? (leans over to inspect)... what - paint??? (touches - it's dry, sniffs in distaste, remembers that he needs another kleenex)
1530hrs
Sirius Black is taking it easy today - its best to leave the impression of being too weak to do any work, too weak to help himself --
Black: Too weak to possibly have been responsible for letting a squirrel into your room...
Tonks: I'm going to KILL you -- that thing woke me up at 6am today!!
(He is lounging on the living room sofa; Tonks tries to tower threateningly over him, but he seems perfectly content)
Black(chuckles): was it very bad??
Tonks:AGHHH-
(Suddenly Voldemort and Draco pass by in the hall - Voldemort has his arm aronud the youth)
Voldemort: She's a wonderful little companion - every boy should have a cat-
Draco(slurring): Animalssare worthlessss-
Voldemort: no, nonsense - they can alert one to danger, even..
Draco: Ahhhhhhhh, who neeeeeeeds 'hat?
Voldemort: (chuckles darkly) No one...
(Black and Tonks are watching in confusion)
Tonks: what -
Black: I have - OHhhhh!
Tonks(sits): What? Tell me.
Black(chuckles): He wants revenge. Apparently Draco forced him to reveal the whereabouts of the ice cream the other day when he was too ill to retaliate..
Tonks(raises eyebrow): Should we...
Black(grins): Let justice run its course.
Tonks: Speaking of which - YOUUUUUU-
Black(holds up hands): you got me - (grins) 11-9.
Tonks: Where's my spray paint!? (storms off)
1550hrs
Dumbledore is cleaning up the kitchen and finds the vodka.. he inspects it curiously - enter Lupin.
Dumbledore: Remus, welcome!
Lupin: ..(eyes dart around suspiciously).. has he killed him already?
Dumbledore: ... Tom? Draco - I don't know.. but there is alcohol here.
Lupin(smiles): I'm going to feel very guilty tomorrow, but for now I think that's great.
Snape(has appeared in doorway): Famous last words... what's going on?
Dumbledore: We fear for Draco's well being.. What do you know about it, Severus?
Snape: Lupin knows as much as I do..
Lupin: Doesn't mean Lupin wants to talk about it anymore than you do. (sits at table with glass of water) You probably shouldn't let him wreak untamed vengeance upon the poor kid.
Dumbledore(twinkling): Perhaps it'll send him crying to one of us?
Lupin: Severus? (Snape glances over) Don't you feel any... parental head-of-house obligations?
Snape: If you're so concerned, why don't you investigate?
Lupin(sigh): All right.. I'll go make sure he's still breathing....once I finished this glass..
1600hrs -
Lupin is surprised to see Voldemort proudly stalking down the hall.. He passes wordlessly.
Lupin: ....? (he continues to sun room- looks in.. there is Draco, apparently passed out on a sofa, perfectly well, except - Lupin covers his mouth laughing and goes back to kitchen)
1813hrs
The group is gathered around the kitchen table, except Draco.
Tonks: I'm glad Remus is alive still. I was getting pretty sick of pasta-
Dumbledore: I'm not used to cooking - I overcooked the hash browns this morning.
Snape: They were good.
Lupin(smiles): Severus likes them burnt.
Dumbledore: And the french toast too..
Tonks: And you broke the tea pot..
Black: Why does all this happen when I'm indisposed? I should have liked to see that..
Tonks; You were recovering from your INEXCUSABLE PRANK--
Voldemort: What did he do?
Black: ' let a squirrel into her room yesterday.
Voldemort: Child's play.
(as if on cue - there's a blood curdling scream from the sun room; everyone grimaces except Voldemort, who is grinning triumphantly, and Snape, who is back in No Expression Mode.™)
Dumbledore(glance to Lupin): I thought you said.... it was nothing serious..?
Lupin: Nothing... I think is serious..
Voldemort: But you and the young Mr. Malfoy have.. slightly different perceptions of value..
(Draco storms into the room. He stops at the table, scowling and red with rage - or is it humiliation? His fists clench compulsively, his shoulders arch in anger, and his hair... his hair is cropped very short and sloppy -- giving him the overall air of a disgruntled flapper who's had a bad day at the beauty salon.)
Voldemort(chuckles): Love the new look, child...
Draco: WHAT - DID - YOU -DO!!
Voldemort: Clearly I thought your hair was getting a bit ... straggly? So I took off an inch.. or a few...
Draco(grabs at hair desperately - as if his hands will magically bring the rest of it back): ARHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Tonks: HAHAHAH!!
Lupin(hiding his grin behind a napkin): It's not that bad-
Black: hehehehee... Can we count this as 11-10?
Draco: NO!
Voldemort: oh... and... I figured that since your hair is so much more manageable now, you won't need all those ridiculous and time-consuming products, so I took the liberty of dumping them down the sink..
Draco: !!! - (Speechless, shaking, he runs from the room)
Voldemort: heh heh heh....
TUESDAY morning--
Draco is in bed, arm hanging over side like Lupin's usually does. It's 830 and the other three are bustling around -- bustling, since they're all feeling better. But no signs of life from the Malfoy.
Snape(observes flatly): He's killed himself.
Black(on the way out): ah, too bad!
Lupin: what! (joins Snape at bed) He has not. He's still breathing.
Snape: Perhaps I meant a slow, psychological death.
Lupin: He's young. He'll recover... or his hair will grow back.. whichever first..
Snape: Malfoy pride has been wounded.
Lupin(pointedly): Yes, but not everyone carries around a grudge for years on end...
Snape(only glares in agitation - then steps forward darkly): You know-
Black(sticks his head back in the door): Hey - bathroom's purple!
Lupin: What!?
Black: And green!
Snape(laced with disgust): ...purple?
Black: And 12-9 sprayed on the wall in red..
Lupin: I'm not sure I'd count that as a prank.. let's veto.
Draco(lifts head): aghe??
Black: We need to catch hold of those damned spray paint cans before she takes them to our heads-
Draco(groan): HAIR! (falls back into pillow, sobbing)
Lupin: Professor Snape. Damage control. (nods ironically at Draco; takes towel and goes out with Black)
Snape: ... (turns briskly to Draco) Get Up!
Midday - Tonks and Dumbledore are in a game of tiddlywinks
Dumbledore: You should develop your skills.. I foresee in you a dangerous tiddlywinks player...
Tonks: oh, go on, Albus - you're just trying to distract me.
(Draco walks past in the hall; Dumbledore raises an eyebrow)
Dumbledore: I don't need to distract you... this house is distracting enough without my help..
Tonks: Good to see he's still alive.... (reconsiders) I think...
Diary Room:
Draco enters - he seems to be permanently red-faced now. He sits on the chair, agitated.
Draco: Oh audience.... this is... (runs hand against cropped hair; it attemps to stick out in various directions, but it's quite short) this is NOT to be borne!! What - agh.. w- ha- (shakes head, pauses - regains composure) Who does he think he is?? My hair is SACRED! What would my father say if he heard about this mistreatment?...Oh.. what a day of wrath... (trails off) I shall have to have my revenge.. (pauses again, frowning) But then... he is the Dark Lord.. That counts for something, doesn't it? (leans forward, props an elbow on his knee and thinks, head in hand) hmm..........
After dinner, Tonks finds Lupin reading in the den again. (Apparently Snape has given him back "Epic Thuringian Wizard battles of the 17th Century.")
Tonks: I might be voted off....
Lupin: What? No- Who would vote off you when choosing between Voldemort and Draco?
Tonks: .... Remus. Think about it. Who's been voted off so far? Harry, Hermione. Ron!
Lupin(frowns): ..but Draco's hair is so pitiful now. Surely he'll lose his fan following?
Tonks: Wishful thinking..
Lupin(takes chocolate bar off coffee table, offers it): If you are voted off you'll just have to accept it - shouldn't be too hard... You don't want to be stuck in this house when Draco devises a revenge scheme...and when the retaliation for that happens..
Tonks(sigh): I guess so...
Lupin: at least if you go, you've still won the battle.. I'm afraid the sickness tripped us up.. You were just lucky...
Tonks: hah! You've still got til tomorrow morning....
Lupin: .. indeed..