warnings: abuse of HP characters, "Hints of Slash." foooooooddd
Day 54, Tuesday
Draco has locked himself in the Diary Room, and thanks to the hunger strike, he has not eaten for a day and a half.. Now he lies on the floor, still in the sleeping bag, pale and too exhausted to move-
Draco(glassy eyes staring at ceiling): .........iceeee.... creaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm..............
Meanwhile, Sirius Black wakes up to find a plate of potato chips on his chest.
Black: ARRRHOOOOOAARR! (throws the plate across at Snape; it crashes into the wall above his head)
Snape: Too bad that was plastic.
Black: I will kill you, Snivellus...
Lupin(from bed above): One more day, Sirius. You can do it.
Black: YES. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! (stretches triumphantly) I shall not capitulate when I'm this close to victory!
Lupin: ok, well, are you coming down to breakfast today?
Black: er.. let's not press our luck.. (rolls over)
Lunch:
Voldemort: It's so very quiet today.... where are they? have they died?
Lupin: Sirius seemed ok, but I haven't seen Draco since... (trails off, frowning)
Snape: He's in the Diary Room.
Voldemort: Having that heart-to-heart with the audience finally?
Cut to Diary Room:
Draco: .......meaaaaatttttt............ (spittle dribbles out the side of his mouth)
Voldemort(conversationally): I suppose he'd better get that in soon before he goes insane..
Snape: It's a loss.
Voldemort: Indeed.
Lupin: listening to you two is enough to drive anyone insane...
BigBrother: ATTENTION, HOUSEMATES! Today is a special mid-week challenge day, for anyone who wants to play for veto power.
Voldemort: Veto power? Excellent..
Lupin: What's the challenge?
BigBrother: Polka Dancing.
(long pause)
BigBrother: Just kidding - housemates, you must play a simple word game.
Voldemort; I am becoming suspicious anytime Big Brother tells us something is simple.
BigBrother: The game is in the living room on the coffee table. You may play there.
(the housemates gather in the living room; Voldemort has to send Snape to collect Draco, but soon they are all present)
Black: So, what's today's exciting game?
Lupin: Something called "Scattergories"?
Voldemort(reading instructions): So... apparently we decide on a letter by dice roll, then that letter dictates the way we play that round. We think of a word for each category on the card that starts with that letter. For example, for this category Boy's Name, I must have an answer starting with (rolls dice).... G. George. Good?
Black: Easy. Let's go.
So they play the first round, and begin comparing answers.
Draco: Ok.. hm.. for Boy's name with F I said Fortinbras
Black: Francisco
Lupin: Ferdinand
Voldemort; Frederick
Snape: Frank.
Black: mmmm Franks... (Lupin smacks him)
Draco: U.S. Cities? I don't know, I put Fransisco.
Voldemort: That's San Fransisco, child.
Draco: Well, they're a big country, I'm sure they have a Fransisco too!
Black: no points! I had Fort Myers.
Lupin: So did I!
Voldemort: Damn it.. It's the only American vacation spot that wizards visit!
Snape: Grand Forks.
Black: THAT STARTS WITH G!
Snape: It also starts with F. Forks. (Black glares menacingly, but Snape seems unaffected.)
Voldemort: No points for anyone on that! Moving on to "Things that are cold." I had frost.
Draco: Freezer.
Lupin: Finland
Black: the Frozen Forest.
Lupin: hah - two points.
Snape: I had frozen french fries..
Black: WHAT!
Lupin: Stop that-
Voldemort: Three points-
Draco: Frozen is an adjective!
Snape: Yes, but it is a critical part of the nomenclature here. If they weren't frozen, they wouldn't be cold.
Voldemort: Three points!
Black: CHEAT-
(and so on.... four rounds later)
Black: Ok.. excuses for being late..I had "saving small squirrels from imminent starvation"
Lupin: You would.
Draco: I had "studying"
Snape: I had better not hear that from you, Draco.
Voldemort: I wrote "Slept in late."
Lupin: "Sex."
Draco: WHAT-
Snape(raised eyebrow): I'm not sure I would accept that either, Lupin.
Lupin: I'm not sure of that myself! what'd you have?
Snape: sauteeing and simmering succotash.
Voldemort: Three points--
Lupin: I would definitely not accept that!
Snape: Black's answer is the questionable one..
Black: Hey now-
10 minutes later:
Draco: OK PLEASE- next category: (cringes) ice cream flavors
Snape: succulent.. savory.. sweet cream and strawberries-
Black(twitches): STOP THAT-
Draco(pale): Agh.... No... I wrote sausage
Black: I put sewage!
Lupin: those are NOT valid ice cream flavors!
Voldemort: Did no one have strawberry?
Lupin: I wrote Sambuca.
Snape: Now alcohol, Lupin.. Where is your mind these days..?
Lupin: (shrug)
An hour and a half later:
Voldemort; OK... that was exceedingly tedious.. but I had 122 points.
Black: 117.
Draco: 102.
Snape: 120.
Lupin: 124.
Voldemort(affronted): Excuse me, Mr. Lupin?
BigBrother: ATTENTION, HOUSEMATES - REMUS LUPIN HAS WON THE CHALLENGE AND NOW HAS VETO POWER.
Voldemort: This was not supposed to happen (Turns to Snape) Why ddi you have to be so clever with all your answers? You woul dhave won if you weren't trying to prove a point-
Snape: Then I wouldn't have made a point-
Black: Ah! Good going, Remus -
Lupin(looks very surprised at all this): Oh... well.. I guess I'll have to use it then.
BigBrother: And whom will you be replacing?
Lupin: Well. I'll have to put Sirius out of his misery, since he's becoming neurotic about being voted off..
Black: what - me??
Lupin: And... replace you with... Do I have to replace him, Big BRother?
BigBrother: YES.
Lupin: ohh.. Well, Draco, you're looking a little under the weather..
Draco(too tired to look insulted): put me out of my misery..
BigBrother: There it is then. AUDIENCE HAS A NEW TRIO TO CHOOSE FROM. That is all.
(stunned silence; Finally Lupin gets up)
Lupin: does... anyone want tea?
Black: WHAT-
Lupin: I MEAN WATER? ICE COLD Ice water??? (propitiating grin)
Black: YES WATER.
Lupin: Ok. One more day.