|Some of those laughs --
(well, okay, pretty much ALL
of those laughs)
-- have come at the expense of Tori Spelling, her family, her
friends, her co-workers, her future husband (the lucky bastard
-- I wish it was me!), the
® Corporation, and, of course, Don Knotts.
I honestly hope (against the vanishingly remote chance that any
of those people will ever actually see
these pages) that I haven't hurt anybody's feelings.
Least of all Mr. Knotts...
Okay, I'm sorry, that was a joke, too. But, really, I'm trying
to be serious. Hurting Tori's feelings (even accidentally) is
the farthest thing from my mind... I only kid because I love.
Y'see, Tori catches a lot of grief from a lot of boneheads
(like me) on the nepotism front. Some is gentle-natured and
friendly (like the phony "bio"
found elsewhere in these pages), but too much of it is just
plain crap: garbage flung at her by a misanthropic gaggle of
losers for no better reason than that she's the big, hard-to-
Somehow, though, Tori manages to weave her way through that
hail of abuse with the sort of grace, dignity, and -- above
that should inspire those of us who love her and leave her
critics feeling small and a little slimy.
To the continuing dismay of her detractors, Tori Spelling
absolutely refuses to be what they claim she is. Instead, she
chooses to be bright and beautiful,
and decent, in a town -- and in an industry -- where those
qualities are in conspicuously short supply.
I really do admire this girl -- and not just because she'd make
such a TORI-fic mattress ornament.
(Oooops! There I go again: kidding because I love!)