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| Lady and Friends |
| Lady |
| TO MY LADY.... Who knows why things happen the way that they do? They're beyond our control - we haven't a clue. What I do know is this - I loved a beautiful soul To be worthy of you one of my only goals. Your time with us was all too brief - Three short years - now all of this grief. If I could go back and undo that day I would - in a heartbeat - would turn out a different way. If there were a way to have a second chance I'd jump on it - with no second glance. But time I can't change - fate stepped in that day. I'm left behind - trying to find some way To get through each day - however mundane - Without letting guilt & what-if's drive me insane. I'd be with you today if it were His will But it isn't my time - things to do here still. So play with your friends there - run & have fun! I pray at days end - when your romping is done Your dreams will be filled with thoughts of the one Who loves you so much, who still hurts so deep Who longs for your kisses, who misses you a heap! And when the day comes for my spirit to take flight I'll come straight to the Bridge - I'll follow your light. You'll all pause in your playing - you'll all turn to see "Has my mommy or daddy come to be with me?" "I'm sorry" - I'll tell them - "Not quite your time - Your loved ones are coming - Everything's fine." Then you'll turn to your friends "Mom's here!" you will cry And, running full speed, into my arms you will fly. We'll roll on the ground, laugh, play, and hug... Back safe in my arms... My Sunshine, My Trudie Girl, My Ladybug. Lord Maxwell's Little Lady February 7, 1998 - August 28, 2001 written by Lady's Mom Pam, November 12, 2002 |
| ~ Tears ~ If tears could build a stairway And memories were a lane I would walk right up to heaven To bring you home again. No farewell words were spoken, No time to say goodbye. You were gone before I knew it And only God knows why. My heart still aches in sadness, And secret tears still flow What it meant to lose you No one will ever know. ~ Author Unknown ~ |
I nap the day on a snowy cloud Gentle breezes rocking me And dream the dreams of earthlings And how it used to be. The trees are full of liver treats And tennis balls abound And milbones line the walkways Just waiting to be found. There even is a ring set up The grass all lush and green And everyone who gaits around Becomes the Best of Breed. For we're all winners in this place We have no faults, you see And god passes out those ribbons To each one, even me. I drink from waters laced with gold My world a beauty to behold And wise old dogs do form my pride To amble at my very side. At night I sleep in an angel's arms Her wings protecting me And moonbeams dance about us As stardust falls on thee. So when your life on earth is spent And you stand at Heaven's gate Have no fear of loneliness For here, you know I wait ~ Author Unknown ~ |
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| Miss Molly |
| Maxwell |
| Maxwell |
| Lady |
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| THE SPIRIT OF A DALMATIAN I was standing on a Hillside In a field of blowing wheat and the spirit of a Dalmatian Was lying at my feet. He looked at me with kind dark eyes An ancient wisdom shining through And in the essence of his being I saw love there too. His mind did lock upon my heart As I stood there on that day And he told me of this story About a place so far away I stood upon that Hillside In a field of blowing wheat And in a twinkling of a second His spirit left my feet. His tale did put my heart at ease My fears did fade away About what lay ahead of me On another distant day. "I live among God's creatures now In the heavens of your mind So do not grieve for me, my friend As I am with my kind. My collar is a rainbow's hue My leash a shooting star My boundaries are the Milky Way Where I sparkle from afar. There are no pens or kennels here For I am not confined But free to roam God's heavens Among the Dalmatians kind. |
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| You Are My Sunshine You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey you'll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away The other night dear as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms when I awoke dear I was mistaken and I held my head and cried |
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| You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey you'll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey you'll never know dear how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away Please don't take my sunshine away Please don't take my sunshine away Please don't take my sunshine away |
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| Lady's furry family members, missing her also ! Maxwell & Miss Molly |
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| GREMLIN "Fats" ~ May 1990 to September 24, 2001 |
| Gremlin |
| Gremlin & Snowball |
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| Snowball |
| Snowball |
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| Lady's Story (as posted at Petloss.com board - August 2003 by Lady's Mom Pam) As an anniversary looms ever closer, I have found myself in a terrible funk. I have been absent from here as well as the chatroom. I am no use to myself....how can I possibly be of any use to anyone else? As I struggle to deal with this pain, it occurs to me I have never posted Lady's story...maybe it could help? I can't talk to anyone at home about her....they have "gotten over" her. I NEVER will & I know you, my friends, will understand. This is Lady's Story. Two years ago today began a nightmare for me....a nightmare I don’t seem to be able to wake from. August 26, 2001, was a Sunday. At approximately 2:45 AM, we arrived home late from racing out of town Saturday night. As usual, upon arriving home after a long drive, I needed the bathroom NOW! So I dashed in & my hubby took care of putting the dogs out to potty. He put Max on the leash but for whatever reason did not tie Lady on hers. His job done, he went to get ready for bed, leaving the dogs out for me to bring in a few minutes later. I went to do so not 5 minutes later to find Lady nowhere in sight. I called for her but she didn’t come. I went back inside & told my hubby to get up & come out to help me find her. We spent the next 2 hours searching vainly through yards, streets, & alleys for blocks around our house. The more time that passed, the more frantic I became. At 5 AM we met back at the house to try to figure out our next move. We would call the law enforcement center, the local animal shelter, and the local radio station. As I reached for the phone to start making those calls, the phone rang...it was Sgt. “T” from the local police. They’d found our dog. I fell to my knees & began crying with relief. Please tell me she’s ok, I begged him. His reply...she’s been hit by a car. She was at our vets, alive, but we should come right away. We piled in the car & flew across town to our vets office. Dr. K hadn’t arrived yet but the employees the police had contacted had Lady in ICU already. Sgt. T filled us in on what he knew...someone had hit her, apparently looked at her tags, got the name of the vet & dumped her in front of the clinic door. Sgt. T was making his routine drive-by when he spotted a person sitting in front of the clinic & stopped to investigate. A good Samaritan happened to pass by & saw Lady there, struggling to get to her feet. The woman stopped, got a blanket out of her trunk, wrapped Lady in it, and sat there with her for almost 45 minutes waiting for someone to come by and help. When Sgt. T arrived he first called for help then questioned the woman & looked over her car. He was convinced she was not the one who hit Lady...she was simply a kind-hearted person who went out of her way to help a wounded soul that early morning. Once she knew Lady was being taken care of, she went on her way...we never learned her name. Sgt. T said he knew right away Lady was well-cared for & well-loved...he said her tail never stopped wagging despite the fact that she was obviously in pain. After getting this information we went in to see Lady. She slowly raised her head and, again, that unstoppable tail began thumping. She didn’t move much else and had some cuts on her head. Dr. K arrived & she was taken to an exam room. Aside from the cuts on her face, she had no outer injuries. She showed no signs of pain in any of her legs and was able to stand and walk, although wobbly & slow. There were no signs of internal injuries. Her temperature was quite low - a sign she had laid outside the clinic for much of the time we searched for her...on the completely opposite side of town. If only the person(s) who dumped her there had made a phone call... Dr. K put her back in ICU on fluids & meds to help with shock & to assist with blood clotting - just in case. He said the prognosis looked fairly promising. She appeared that she was going to be very lucky. We left her there & went home about 8 AM Sunday morning. After catching a little sleep, we made several trips out to try to visit her during the course of the day. My daughter & I went to work that night & my hubby called about 7 PM to tell us he’d just left her. She was doing very well & we shouldn’t worry about her. She was comfortable & Dr. K said if she remained so overnight, she would go home on Monday when she showed she would eat & drink & also go outside to potty & poop...had to make sure everything was working. That call was such a relief. My Sunshine was going to be OK! To be continued... Lady's Story - Part II August 27, 2001 - Monday morning I was up bright & early this morning. No work today but want to be ready to go get Lady when Dr. K calls. This last 24 hours has been like a bad dream...one I never want to have again! At about 8:30 AM I can’t wait any longer. I called to see how Lady is this morning. Stacy tells me Dr. K has looked in on her & she looks ok but that he wants to spend a little more time with her. He wants to take her outside himself & see how she does. He will do that as soon as he’s finished with some other patients. About 10:00 AM the phone rings. It’s not Dr. K but is Sgt. T - just wondering how Lady is doing. So sweet of him to call & such a testament to Lady & her ability to touch hearts. About 11:45AM Dr. K finally calls. Lady is very sore & bruised but he thinks the best medicine now is home & TLC. She ate & drank this morning and when he took her outside she pottied & pooped & all appeared normal. No sign of blood in urine or stool. We could pick her up & bring her home! He gave us a list of things to watch for - signs of shock or infection or other trouble and we left with her. By 12:30 PM she was home...sleeping peacefully on the couch. The afternoon was spent quietly. She moved very little - only to go outside once. We carried her up & down the steps so she wouldn’t stumble & helped her on & off the couch. She ate & drank at meal time. We took it slow & calm. That evening we were planning to move our daughter to college about an hour away. Not wanting to leave Lady alone or put her through the stress of that long drive & then the moving & heat, we took her to our sons house while we were gone so she wouldn’t be alone & someone would be with her just in case something went wrong. We completed the move & got back to our sons to pick her up about 11:00 PM. He said she had been out to potty once and otherwise had not moved much. He thought she seemed cold...at least her legs & feet. We took her home & went through the list of things Dr. K had sent home. Everything looked good so at 11:30 PM I lifted her into bed, she snuggled into her usual spot between our pillows, I crawled into bed beside her, and fell asleep as usual...with my hand on her side. To be continued... Lady's Story - Part III (Sorry so long) Tuesday, August 28, 2001 Lady is home! She’s had a slow, quiet day and she & I have been in bed for almost 2 hours when she suddenly sits straight up in the bed, takes 2 huge gasps of air...and collapses. I yelled for my hubby who was in the living room watching TV. He came running & seeing something wrong grabbed the phone & called Dr. K - there was no answer so he left a panicked message, hung up, and immediately began CPR trying to revive Lady. It was no use...she was gone...no cries, no whimpers, no warning. The phone rang back - it was Dr. K...took him a minute to reach the phone...but it doesn’t matter...there is nothing that can be done. Max is howling - he knows his girl is gone. My Sunshine died in my arms at 1:30 AM. I spent the next several hours holding her, crying, rocking, not knowing what to do. My hubby offered to go dig a hole near where we had buried our first cat, Ashes, so that we could bury her there, too. NO!!!!!! Burial was NOT an option - it went against everything that Lady was. She hated to be in the dark. She hated dirt. She hated getting wet. She hated being alone. Besides - who would take care of her if we ever found the dream house we’d been looking for? I would not be able to move & leave her there. Hubby called the vet to ask about options. Thank God cremation was a service they offered. I would be able to have her near & one day her ashes would be buried with me. It took a few more hours before I was ready to make that awful drive to the clinic. We had decided to have an autopsy done to determine why...while it would not change the outcome, it may prove useful in future cases for Dr. K...give him something more to look for. Everyone at the clinic was so wonderful. Through a series of 4 surgeries the previous year, Lady had become their miracle dog. She had touched each of their hearts, too. We spent a little more time with Lady there at the clinic then left - broken & alone. My husband cried - My God - I’ve killed our baby! How I fought the urge to tell him yes he had and that I may never be able to forgive him. I was so angry - at him, at God, at the person who hit her, at the devil for not listening to my pleas to take me - just give me back my baby. The emptiness inside me was unbelievable. Never have I felt such pain...not when I lost my father or my grandmother who I took care of for the last years of her life. Dr. K called the next day with the autopsy results...massive internal bleeding. My baby had bled to death without so much as a single outward sign. How is this possible? How could I not know something was wrong? How could we not have fixed this? How could I fail my sweet girl so totally, so miserably? Later that day we received a card & plant from Dr. K and his staff and flowers from my boss. Such nice gestures for a dog who was so much more than that - she was my heart. Two days later Sgt. T called for an update...he was totally unprepared to find Lady had passed. His voice cracked as he offered his condolences & said again what a sweet dog she had been that night. Later I talked with one of the jailers who said Sgt. T had tears in his eyes when he got off the phone...who says cops are tough? Lady’s ashes came home on September 10, 2001. What a bittersweet day. I hugged the urn all the way home & made a little shrine for her. Her collar, tags, and bandana are there, along with a poem I found on the internet. Just recently I added the beautiful “Angel Lady” picture that Magicwolf created...thank you so much, Mareike! When I ask Max where his girl is - he goes to the curio & looks up at the urn...he knows. On November 9, 2001, my hubby disappeared all day & didn’t get home until midnight. I was sooooo angry at him for making me worry like that...until he produced a tiny, spotted furball. In an effort to help my heart & ease his own pain, he had found a litter of dal pups hours away & spent the day getting a new pup. I fought the urge to love her...I didn’t want to betray my Lady nor did I want to open my heart to that kind of pain again. But in very short order - overnight, really - we came to realize that this was a very special little girl, sent to not only help us heal but to show us that Lady did not blame us or think us irresponsible. She has trusted us with a little life who just happens to be deaf. Miss Molly is now almost 2 years old & very much loved. I thank Lady everyday for sending her to us & for trusting us to keep her safe - something we were not able to do for Lady. The guilt I have over what happened with Lady will be with me always...I may never be able to forgive myself. But I do know I was a good mom and would never intentionally hurt any of my “kids”. Accidents do happen. We are now much more vigilant & some would say over-protective. But so be it. My husband gets upset that I still grieve for Lady - he misses her - but he feels my grief is wrong - he thinks I am grieving more over a dog than I did my dad. That is not true - I’d give anything to have my dad back. But I also know from my time here that many have felt the same way. The love of our furkids is so unconditional with no strings attached. The purity of that love is what makes it so hard to lose. Lady hated loud noises - particularly thunderstorms. I would rush to be with her & comfort her...now she has no one & I am left raging at the sky during thunderstorms. You may have heard me once or twice. My God & I are back on speaking terms...perhaps one day when I get done making my explanations to Him - He will explain this to me. Until then, I go on, loving my furkids, praying for forgiveness & strength, and thanking everyone here for being here & for understanding. You are great friends - nice to know there are good people in the world. Sorry this got so long. But it did feel good to put this all in words. Thanks for “listening”. To my Lady - Happy 2nd Re-Birth Day, my Sunshine! I know you are whole again and no longer in pain - from the injuries of the accident that took you away or from the seizures you had endured most of your short life. I know you are with Gremlin, who joined you at the Bridge less than a month after you got there, as well as with Muffin & Ashes who left our house for the Bridge years before you. Take care of each other & know that your mommy loves you always. If only one such love can come into my life - I am so glad it was you and I’m so sorry I let you down. I treasure your visits - just Friday night at the track - the least likely place for you to be! Thank you for sharing my life for the short time we had. Love, Mom In Memory of My Lady Two years have gone by since you were called Home To the beautiful Bridge where you’re free to roam. Free of leashes and tethers and dangers from cars, Free of pain, free of fear, free to shine with the stars. You wander the fields, valleys, and streams, Your nights are so peaceful, filled with sweet dreams. Your friends there are many, and OHHHH all the fun! Troubles - there are none - well, OK, maybe one! But she, too, is a friend, having fun like the rest And you ALL know just a LITTLE mischief is best. I’ve learned how to go on and to deal with the pain, Secure in the knowledge that I WILL see you again! I deal with your absence and all the things that I miss - Your scent, your warm snuggles, your gentle, shy little kiss. I miss you beside me as I read or I sew… Do you know I’ve not stitched since you had to go? Nothing in my life will ever be the same. You lit up my world from the first day you came. But my life will go on as long as He sees fit And I’ll give thanks everyday for having had you in it. So be a good girl, don’t forget your moms’ love. We’ll be together again one day, reunited above! |
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| Lord Maxwell's Little Lady February 7, 1998 - August 28, 2001 Thank you to all my wonderful Petloss friends. I could not get through this without you. Love & hugs, Pam - Lady's Mom - always & forever |
| Snowball went to the Bridge today (as posted on the petloss.com board on May 26, 2004 by Mom Pam) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I know I have not been to Petloss much lately. Have been busy with mom (alzheimer's) and getting her affairs in order along with the rest of the springtime busy stuff like everyone else. I do get to the board & into chat when time allows.....but now, another loss brings me back. Our beautiful cat, Snowball, went to the Bridge at 4 PM this afternoon. She was 19 - almost 20 - and had been failing for some time. But when I got home from work this afternoon, she was particularly bad. She could not stand and her cry was so weak....almost as if she was crying for help. So....with very heavy hearts & lots of tears, my daughter & I made that last trip to the vet with her. She went peacefully & I know in my head we did the right thing....but my heart is hurting so bad. We brought her home & buried her with Ashes, Gremlin, and the guinea pigs. Now, as I write this, it is storming....AGAIN. How fitting. Matches the storm going on inside me. This is the first time in almost 25 years there has not been a cat in our house. This is too weird. I thank you all for being here and for letting me ramble. You are the only ones who understand. I wrote this poem for Snow...forever "Kitten". In Memory of Snowball Pure white fur, soft as a sigh, Gorgeous big eyes, blue as the sky. Your start in life was both cruel and unfair Just dropped from a bridge by one who didn’t care. You and your siblings in that bag cold and forlorn. The cause for this torment? The fact you were born! Fate led us to you on that glorious spring day, I knew with one look that with us you would stay. Not six weeks of age is what the vet said, Anyone who could do this must be out of their head! But your life would get better - all it took was love And some timely intervention from the Big Guy above! Days turned to months, months into years In what seemed like no time, we realized our worst fears. You were no longer that kitten who would frolic and play, The one who would lay in the sun and nap hours away. Your eyes lost their sparkle, your coat lost its luster, To get through each day took all the strength you could muster. Then finally today you gave me that look, The one filled with pain that could not be mistook. We answered your plea the kindest way that we could With the heaviest of hearts, we did what we should. We helped your sweet soul to the Bridge, but no fear, At THIS bridge there’s no danger, let me make that quite clear! Lady, Gremlin, and you will all be together Just as back at home - birds of a feather! So snuggle with Gremlin, give Lady a nuzzle for me, Tell them we’ll ALL be together again when moms spirit is free! I love you, Snowball. Thanks for sharing our lives for so many years. Thank you for being here, my friends. Love & hugs, Pam - Lady's Mom |
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