Well, another boring Sunday has gone by.
I woke up quite early this morning, because I had to get to work, and I started at 7:00 AM. I showered, ate, brushed my teeth then got dressed. That's right, I showered, ate and brushed my teeth completely naked. I then took a quick look in the mirror and left my house.
I stepped out on to my balcony and noticed in horror that the streets were covered in a white, unknown substance. What disturbed me even more was that I had walked outside completely naked. Turns out I forgot to get dressed after I brushed my teeth. The paper boy biked by at that moment, doing his daily paper route.
"How are you doing that? How are you biking on that white, unknown substance?" I shouted to the boy. He looked at me, dumbfounded, as if I were a crazy person. I continued shouting at him, shaking my naked fist in the air over my head. Why is he looking at me like I'm insane? I wondered. Maybe it was the fact that I was naked. Maybe it was the fact that my genitals had shrivelled up to the size of a small raisin because of the cold. Either way, the young boy was shocked out of his mind. I quickly ran down the stairs and into the street. I then began chasing the boy, who started peddaling away on his bike, as fast as he could.
"How are you doing that! How are you biking on that white, unknown substance!" I shouted, angrily. The boy kept on biking. He had started to cry.
"Why are you doing this mister?" He whined and cried.
"How are you doing that!!! How are you biking on that white, unknown substance!!!" I continued to shout. I then stopped in my tracks. The paper boy got away, but I didn't care. I looked at my cold, naked feet and realized that I was walking on this white, unknown substance. I dropped down to my knees and looked up at the sky.
"DAMN YOU!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, fists shaking in the air. Then an old man walked up to me, from the mist created by the white, unknown substance. He was wearing raggedy clothes. Dirty, raggedy clothes. "Jesus?" I asked. I squinted. The stranger approached, and I realized it was Gary, the local drunk/hobo.
"It's just snow, kid," He said, and tossed me a dirty rag. I put it around my neck like a scarf.
"Thank you, Gary," I said. I walked back up the street, in all my glorious nakedness, scarf wrapped tightly around my neck. I didn't know where I was going. Back home maybe. I looked down at my shrivelled genitals, now the size of a small peanut. Wherever I'm going, it better be warm, I thought.
Well, another boring Sunday has gone by.