Do you want to skip the training process and just purchase the dog lessons? Think twice, it is not that simple. Any obedience trainer will tell you, they don't train dogs, they train people how to train dogs. You will find that you will have to accompany your dog to each lesson, and the trainer will tell you all the training exercises you must do every day at home before the next lesson. In the end, one way or another, you will have to spend the time training him. By using this guide, you can save yourself the money.
Some Obedience Training is important to keep your dog from being a monster. Your dog does not need to know every trick in the book. You may not care if he knows how to fetch. However, without some basic training, your dog will run over you, chew on your stuff, potty in the house, run away at will, run from you when you call him, and beg for or snatch your food, get in the garbage, stroll toilet paper all over the house, and generally wreck havoc. Just like people, dogs learn best when they are young, before they pick up bad habits, and while they have a real interest in learning,
PRELIMINARY TRAINING BEFORE 3 MONTHS
While your puppy is not old enough to understand or follow commands, he is old enough to start preliminary training. It is very important to start your puppy on the road to training now. This is done simply through word association. There are 4 words we want to get him used to before we start training him at 3-4 months. These words are GOOD, POTTY, and COME HERE. We want to associate these words for him at least once a day, and it is even better if it is more often.
Whenever he goes potty, no matter where it is, if you see him going say POTTY loud and clear. Say it over and over while he is going. As soon as he is done, stop saying it. This helps him to associate the word POTTY with the act. Also use a hand signal with the word.
Give him a treat he loves such as a tiny piece of meat or some peanut butter, and say GOOD the whole time he is eating it. Pet him and give him affection for a minute or two after the treat, and continue to say GOOD while you pet him. Anytime you pet him during the day, say GOOD.
Occassionally give the COME HERE command. have a treat ready. Pat you lap and say COME HERE. When he comes, give him the treat, petting, and say GOOD COME HERE.
It is also a good idea to say all commands when/if they should happen.
If you see him laying down, say DOWN and continue to say it occassionally during his laying
If you see him sitting, say sit and continue to say it occassionally during his sitting
Every time you brush him, bath him, or groom him be sure to say BRUSH over and over, and say GOOD BRUSH when he is being cooperative. Remember BRUSH is the word we use for any grooming.
Put the puppy in his den at night and whenever he falls asleep during the day. When you put him in his bed, say BED several times.
When you play with him and his pig ear, be sure to repeat TOY over and over. If he starts playing with something he shouldn't, take it from him, give him the pig ear, and say TOY
Whenever you hear him bark...or squeak as they tend to do until their voice matures, say SPEAK. Say SPEAK after every bark, whether you want him barking or not. He has to learn what SPEAK is before he can learn QUIET.
Remember, he is too young to obey commands to speak or where to potty. Right now what he can do is learn what the words mean. Therefore you want to say the words when he does it even if it is not when or where you want. You are not congratulating him, you are teaching him what the words mean.
BEGIN THE FIRST STEPS OF POTTY TRAINING IMMEDIATELY
She should eliminate in her den. If it is not on the newspaper, pick up the paper and either soak the urine up, or pick the feces up, and put it on the pad. Dogs learn where to potty by smell. She will go where it smells like she should. For this reason, you want to leave a little mess on the puppy pad. Whereever she went on the floor, clean up immediately. Never use pine sol or ammonia based products. Ammonia smells like urine, and they will want to go there. Use some diluted vinegar water on the spot (keep some in a spray bottle). Then, wipe it with alcohol, as this kills odor. If he ever goes on the carpet, use the alcohol and vinegar. They will not normally hurt your carpet. However, it kills all of the smell. This way, the puppy won't be tempted to go there again
If you notice she goes on her paper, try to catch her in the act. When you do, get excited, smile, say "GOOD POTTY" pet her and give her a treat. Do not get mad or even scold her if she goes elswhere until she is 3-4 months old.
UNTIL HE IS 3 MONTHS OLD NEVER SCOLD OR PUNISH FOR MISTAKES.
When your puppy is ready to begin obedience training, which is no sooner than three months of age, read the obedience guide before training to learn the best ways to train your puppy and to avoid some horrible mistakes.
LEASH TRAINING Begin training your dog to a leash immediately. Because he is a small breed dog we never recommend attaching the leash to his collar. He should have a collar on with an ID tag at all times. However, you should use a harness to attach the leash for a dog this size. Until he is old enough to get a harness, you can use a large collar going under one arm like a beauty pagent sash. Let him lead you. As he walks, keep the leash just a little tight so he gets used to being on it, yet can go where he wants. Do this every couple days. When he gets a bit older, try using the leash around the house, and eventually outside.
SOCIALIZATION Some people want their puppy to be people friendly, and some want a watch dog. Determine which you would like your dog to be early on. Watch dogs are very helpful. They will bark and alert you to any strange people nearby. If someone comes near your house they will bark loud enough to wake you up, and the tone of their barking will generally scare potential theives away. Unfortunately, a watch dog will generally bark at your company the entire time they are visiting, and may have to be put in another room. If you do not socialize your dog as a puppy, he will become a watch dog.
If you do not want your dog to bark frequently then it is important to socialize them from an early age. This means taking them on frequent visits to see new people. Do not let your puppy walk on the ground outside, or inside a house that has another dog until they have had their 16-18 week booster. They have a weak immune system until this time. A perfectly healthy Dog can be carrying a disease that will not harm it because it's immune system is strong, but that same disease could attack your puppy. If you allow him near any other dogs before the shots after 16 weeks, make certain that dog has had a booster in the last year which would prevent them from carrying any diseases to your puppy.
Once he has his booster, you can start socializing him with other dogs and more people. The more people and animals he gets used to during this time, the less likely he is to be a barker. When dogs are socialized regularly from early on, they often still tend to be on watch around home, but will bark only when he feels threatened, where as a dog unsocialized will bark every time a car door opens within his hearing range. A well socialized dog will also generally stop barking once he realizes that you are ok with this strange person in your home. Most people prefer a dog that is well socialized.
The best way to socialize your dog is to take him for walks and let strangers pet him when they wish. With good socializing, he will learn how to be loving and trusting of people and turn into the puppy that everyone in the neighborhood loves.
The word association and trying to get him used to toileting on paper by using his instincts, having him wear a leash with free will, and socializing him is all the training you want to concentrate on until the puppy is 3-4 months old.
STEP 2...AFTER 3-4 MONTHS OF AGE
It is important to remember that dogs want to please us. Disregard anything you have been told about dogs being rebellious, or trying to teach you a lesson. Dogs do not disobey us out of spite. They disobey us for 2 reasons.
The first reason is because what you are teaching him may be against his natural instincts, such as not to chew things, or not to bark, or not to chase birds. It is difficult for dogs to resist these natural things. It is kind of like you trying to break a habit such as biting your nails. You can want to stop, and know how to stop, and mean to stop. But, sometimes you do it without thinking. Dogs obey their natural instincts without thinking, no matter how much they want to stop to please you. If someone said "I thought you were going to stop biting your nails" you would immediately stop, because now you are thinking about it.
When you are near to remind the dog to do something, they remember. Without a reminder, they may do it without thinking. It is not to "teach you a lesson". When a dog is caught doing something that you know they know better than to do, they often look ashamed. They are ashamed. Just as if you were caught biting your nails by someone you really wanted to impress, somone that detested nail biting, you might look ashamed. Looking ashamed did not mean you did it on purpose, or that you know you were bad for deliberately biting your nails to "teach him a lesson". Plain and simply, without thinking you failed to impress him and are now ashamed. That is how a dog feels when he is caught doing something wrong. That is why he looks ashamed. Sometimes they don't even know what they did wrong. They just know we are mad at them, because they can tell by our body movements, so they are sad because we are mad. If we, as intelligent human beings have difficulties breaking habits, dogs which are much less intelligent have an even more difficult time.
Now, imagine if you had someone living with you all day long, and he or she kept reminding you to stop biting your nails every time you put them toward your mouth. It would be a lot easier for you to break this habit. This is what you need to do for your dog. It takes a lot of reminding for him to break a habit. This is how you deal with him returning to his natural instincts.
The second reason is because it is difficult to communicate with your dog. He thinks differently than people do. His memory is shorter, and it is not natural for him to follow verbal commands. One example to use is a common mistake people make. When potty training their dog, if they see a mess he made, they might point it out to him and yell at him about it. Some people even rub their noses in it so they "know" what they are mad about. It doesn't work that way. The dog does not remember the actual act of pooping. They can't remember what they did 5 minutes ago. They only know what they are doing right this moment while you are yelling at them.They do not think they are bad for pooping. They think they are bad for seeing poop. From now on, the dog will stay far away from any poop he has made. If he sees the poop, he will look ashamed, because he knows he is bad for seeing it. Because it is bad to see poop, he will make sure to poop in hidden corners where maybe neither one of you will see it.
If that person then yells POTTY at him, and throws him outside, the dog still doesn't get it. He will start to think POTTY means bad because that is what was yelled at him. Then, he is going to think that being throw outside is a punishment for being POTTY (bad) and he will not want to go outside any more, because that is a punishment. When he hears the word POTTY he may run and hide, and wonder how he was bad.See how easy it is to miscommunicate with your dog? Whenever you say GOOD or NO to your dog, it needs to be for what they are doing right at the exact moment you say it. Their memories are much shorter than ours.
The other thing to consider, is that dogs communicate with body language, not words. When you are teaching him a new trick, such as STAY it may take several attempts before he really gets what you mean. This is normal. Wolves in the wild communicate by reading each other's body language. In order for your dog to catch on faster to what you want, a hand signal should always accompany every command. Their body language is similar to ours. I am sure you have heard stories or experienced dogs that can tell when you are sad or in pain. When a dog is happy, or ashamed, or sad, you can tell just by looking at their faces. They can pretty much read us too, because our body languages are pretty similar. If you point in a direction, the dog will normally go in that direction. If you pat your lap, the dog will normally come to your lap. Hand signals are natural and universal to dogs. Whenever you start a new command, use the recommended hand signal with the command until they know the command by heart.
Many people suggest training with treats, and many suggest training with affection, and many recommend both. We recommend using both treats and affection to start. Treats are the easiest way to get the dogs attention for the training session. When they see the treat, they know they will get it. You can not dangle affection in front of the dog. However, later, when you are out somewhere, and you say a command, you don't always have a treat available. If you have no treat to show them, they may not listen. At this point, affection will have to do. This is why once the dog learns the command, it is important to start making affection be the reward sometimes. Because learning a new command is difficult, when they finally get it right, they need a huge reward so they know that they got it and you are very very happy with them. This should include both treats and affection. As they get the tricks, and you are in repeat mode, you should alternate between treats and affection so that either will be acceptable to the dog.
When first learning a command, dangle the treat in front of them. I suggest something they really want like real meat, some meatballs or some chicken. When they get it right, give them the treat and affection. Once they have started to learn the command, show them the treat, then hide it. Not in your hand, put it in your pocket, or set it down nearby. When they get it right, give them the treat and affection. As they start to get the command, you need to have 5 minute practice sessions with them at least once a day. Show the treat.After a while, make her repeat the command a couple times before getting a treat. When she gets the command right, only give her affection the first time, the second time give her both affection and a treat. Slowly make the treat be given less frequently each practice. Eventually, you want to reach a point where she repeats the practice 5-10 times, and you only give her a treat at the end of her entire session. Tell her GOOD and give her affection after every command.
NEVER hit your puppy Hitting your puppy will cause one of two reactions. She will either become aggressive toward people, or she will cower all of the time. Neither is pleasant. Dogs communicate through body language. Just as we can tell when a dog is happy or angry by the way their face looks and the way they carry themselves, they too can tell how we feel. Dogs love to please. Spanking the dog will not let them know you are any angrier than a stern look and a sharp NO with a pointed finger would. You will see that when you yell NO and point at them, they cower and look ashamed. They may have no idea what they did wrong, but they know you are mad. If they do not seem to understand No, you can try tapping your finger on the bridge of their nose. This does not hurt them, but it is not a pleasant feeling. Try doing this to yourself, and you will understand how it is not pleasant. You should not do this hard enough to hurt them, just a simple tap with the finger. In an extremely difficult situation, if the dog seems to defy you, you can shove the dog away from you, but make sure it is not enough to hurt him. He should never associate people with pain. You can also give him a time out. It is fine to punish him to a room for a few minutes. However, do not punish him to his bed or potty area. He should like to go potty and go to bed. If you use these places as punishment he will think of them as bad. As I mentioned before, dogs have short memories. After about 1 minute, he has forgotten why he is being punished. Never make his time outs last more than 5 minutes.
Dogs' minds do not work like ours. They communicate by body language. Learning verbal commands is unnatural to them. Dogs have difficulty with words. It is important to use short, often single syllable words. It is also important that your commands do not sound alike. Dogs confuse a lot of similar words like SIT and GET or SPEAK and SLEEP. The comprehensive list of commands we have put together takes all of these things into consideration, so that there is less confusion during training.
COMMAND LIST
You may not want to train all of these things to your dog. You also may not have the time. That is ok. However, the following first list of commands are very important for your dog to simply be well behaved. It is also important that they are taught in the order the guide gives, because many words will be used to train later words.
NO
(slice your hand through the air as if you are sticking it out to shake hands with someone, or as if using karate to chop a brick in two)
GOOD
bend down and reach out to him palm up as if you have a treat for him, (sometimes you will have a treat)then pet him
COME HERE
pat your leg
POTTY
squat a little and put your hands up as if begging and make them into fists
GO
point in the direction you want him to go
GO HOME
point toward the house
GO BED
point toward the bed
STAY
hold your hand up in the stop sign
TOY
swish hand back and forth like a fish
GIVE
hold hand palm up, and curl fingers in and out
SPEAK
move your hand as if you have a puppet on it talking
QUIET
put a finger to your lips
The rest of these commands can be used if you want to further train your dog.
SIT
hold hand out palm down, then bend all fingers down
LAY DOWN or DOWN
hold hand out palm down, then lower it
WALK
use two fingers as legs walking
SHAKE
hold hand out, palm up near paw
DANCE
hold hand as if you have a treat in your fingers, and move it up and down
FETCH
throw toy
OFF
move hand as if backslapping someone
HEEL
point down to the ground right next to you
BRUSHED
hold hand flat and move back and forth as if petting
KISSES
touch cheek
LEAVE IT
hold hand palm down and smack in a downward direction
If you teach your dog any other commands, be sure they do not sound like any commands listed, and be sure they are short words. Also be sure to use a hand signal with them
PART ONE: GOOD, NO, COME, (NAME)
The very first thing you need to teach your dog is GOOD and NO. These are the base words you will use for all training. To begin, you want the dog to always associate good with a smile, happy voice, petting, and a treat. You want him to associate NO with a mad face, a loud firm voice, a pointed finger, and no attention.
Unfortunately, it is difficult to teach these two words with no real reason. We need to incorporate another command COME. To help the puppy get started, we need to follow these two exercises below several times a day for several days. Be sure to have some treats on you. Any time your dog is not paying you attention, call his name. If he is extremely distracted, you can say his name before the command such as "SPOT, SIT"
First, get down on your knees. Say the dogs name to get her attention. Then say COME HERE and pat your lap. The first few times she obeys, give her the happiest face you can, say GOOD COME HERE and give her treats and petting. Continue this for several days. Do not say "GOOD SPOT" or "GOOD BOY". He is not good for being a boy, and he is not good for being named spot. He is good for coming here. Dogs have a difficult enough time understanding verbal language. We need to make sure we are very clear by saying what he is good for.
For the command NO, you have to find something she does that you do not like. If you can think of nothing, putting some nice food on a low table such as a coffee table will tempt any dog. When she approaches it, very loudly say NO, and point your finger at her. Be sure to call her name before or after saying NO so she learns that you are speaking to her. If she is insistent, take the tip of your finger and tap her on the bridge of her nose, then shove her away from the food, put the food up and turn your back to her. If she is real insistent, hit the floor or table loudly to scare her, while once again saying NO. After a couple minutes, put the food away. The training sessions should not be over 5 minutes long.
Once he/she understands these commands, Repeat training these words every day for about a week. It would be even better if you can do the training session a few times each day.
SPEAK - QUIET-GO HOME
Dogs need to learn SPEAK in order to learn QUIET. Hopefully, you have been saying speak every time she barks up until now. First we must teach her to speak on command. Find something that makes her bark. Having someone knock on the door normally works well. Have the person knock, and when she barks, say GOOD SPEAK and treat her. Then say SPEAK. Tell the person on the other side of the door to knock right after you say SPEAK. You say SPEAK, he knocks, and she should bark. Then treat her and say GOOD SPEAK. After she appears to get it, you try knocking on the door while saying SPEAK and see if you can get her to bark. For a few days, you will have to knock while saying SPEAK. Once she has it down pat, stop knocking. Just say SPEAK while moving your hands in the hand signal. Make sure we have this down pat before we teach QUIET. She needs to be speaking without a knock really well
Now we repeat the exercise with another person standing outside the door. When he knocks, she will bark. Say NO SPEAK-QUIET. She will probably not understand at first. Put one hand around her muzzle to prevent her from speaking, and with the other put a finger to your lips. When the person knocks say NO SPEAK-QUIET. Eventually cut it down to NO-QUIET. Then simply saying QUIET. Say QUIET and then knock on something. Say NO-QUIET if she barks. Try knocking while holding her muzzle.
Quiet is not an easy concept for her to understand, so it may take a while. Once she understands, do practice sessions with SPEAK and QUIET rotating them.If you intend to potty train her to outside, you need to teach her to bark to go out. Once she has SPEAK downpat, make her use it to go out. Go to the door, say SPEAK and when she does, let her go outside.
After a few minutes, open the door and say GO HOME, pointing into the house. When she goes inside say GOOD GO HOME and pet and treat her. This a very important command to learn. 90% of the time when someone sees a lost dog, they say GO HOME. If she knows this command, it could literally save her life and bring her back to you.
POTTY TRAINING
Potty training is one of the first things most people want to teach. However, before they can learn, they must understand GOOD and NO. Be sure they understand GOOD and NO very well. If you are training her to outside, she should know SPEAK well, and know that she should speak to be let out.
Potty training is probably the most heart wrenching thing for us to teach. That is because people appreciate freedom and don't like confinement. However, keep in mind that confinement is not as traumatizing to the dog as it is to you. Every professional out there will tell you the best way to potty train is crate training. Keep in mind, this process should only take a few weeks, then your puppy can have his freedom again.
You need a crate and bed that is the right size for your dog, about 13x23 or the size of a bed pillow. He should only have enough room to stand up, turn around, and lay down. This is important, because if the crate is too large, it won't work.
Dogs absolutely do not like their bed to smell like urine or feces. The point of the crate is to make them hold their bowel and bladder. Start the potty training when you will have two days to dedicate to the dog. The training will take a couple weeks, but you will need to be at home all day the first two days.
Decide how you intend to train him. He can either go outside, or in a litter box. Some people like to use newspaper or puppy pads. That is fine, but they need to be in a litter box. Cat litter boxes are much too small. Purchase a tote box that is about 2 feet by 3 feet minimum and has sides at least 10 inches high. Cut a panel out of one side so he can get in and out. If you intend to use litter, make sure it is dog litter, which is scented wood chips. Cat litter gets between the dogs paw pads and can cause sores.
If he is going to go outside, you need to pick a specific spot and put the used newspaper there. During training, he will only be going in this one spot.
You will need to have treats ready, and he will have to be wearing either a collar or harness. Have a leash available.
Start the training process at bedtime. Give him plenty of water and food before bed, and put him in his crate right after he goes potty for the night. Then get rid of his den.
Make sure he had some dirtied newspaper in his den. Put the dirtied newspaper where you want him to potty. Put it on the grass outside, or in the litter box on top of the litter, pads, or by itself. It is time to move his bedroom to his new permanent place. He bedroom should not be near his potty area. If you are training him to a box, make it in an entirely different room. For the next couple weeks he will spend most of his time in his crate.
Set your alarm clock to wake you up in 4 hours. Dogs can not hold themselves for 8 hours until they are about 6 months old. You should never expect him to hold it for more than 4 until then. When the alarm wakes you, get up and put his leash on him and grab some treats. He needs the leash whether he is going outside or in a box. Take him to his potty place and stand there holding the leash just tight enough that he can't leave, yet loose enough to let him move and sniff around. Say POTTY. Do not move from the spot or let him out of the box. He should go within 15 minutes. If he does not go within 15 minutes, put him back in bed saying GO BED and pointing at the bed.
If he did not go, set the alarm for 2 hours and repeat the process.
If he does go say GOOD POTTY as soon as he starts, and until he is done. then pet him and get excited and play with him. Let him off the leash so he can play for a few minutes. Then put him back in bed and say GO BED and point. Set the alarm for 4 hours later, and repeat.
During the day time, every 4 hours take him to his potty spot on his leash. Then let him off the leash to eat. Keep the leash and treats handy, such as around your neck and in your pocket, and dedicate your entire attention to him while he is out. Let him play for 30 minutes after eating. If you see him sniffing around or squatting or lifting his leg, yell NO POTTY to startle him, snatch him up, and put him on his potty spot. As you are setting him down, put the leash on him. Then say POTTY and keep him there for 10-15 minutes or until he goes.
30 minutes after eating, put his leash on him, take him to his potty area and tell him to potty for 10-15 minutes or until he goes. After he goes, put him in his crate, making sure you say GO BED as you put him in it.
These processes need to be repeated all day long, every 4 hours when he goes, every 2 hours if he does not go, for at least 2 days. After 2 days he should know that he better potty while he is out. If he does not go when you take him potty, make him wait another 4 hours instead of 2.
Check his bed daily to see if he had any accidents. Smell the bedding for urine, because sometimes it dries and can not be seen. You do not want his bed to smell like potty. If it smells like potty, he is more likely to think it is ok to go there. If he makes any mistakes, wash his bedding immediately.
If/when you must return to work on the third day, you will need to have someone come over once 4 hours after you leave, take him to his potty spot, and let him eat and drink, treat him, then crate him. When you are home, be sure to repeat the 30 minute potty, eat, potty process every 4 hours. This should continue for one week, with you giving him treats every time he goes. After one week, if he seems to have it downpat, quit using the leash. Pick him up and set him in his potty spot and tell him potty. If he starts to wander away, put him back, again saying potty. When/if he goes, treat and pet him and give him free time.
After a few days of this, try getting him to go to his potty place by himself. Open the crate, and say POTTY, then walk to the potty place, point at it, and say POTTY. If he hesitates, use COME HERE to try to get him to go. This may take some time.
When you finally teach him to go to his potty spot, try to teach him to go to his bed. Point at the bed, and say GO BED. If he hesitates to go in, toss a treat in his bed as you say GO BED. After a few days he should have this down pat.
Quit giving him treats every time he goes. Make it every other time, then every third time, then just once and a while. Be sure to continue to say GOOD POTTY and petting him
After about 3-4 weeks, he should immediately go to his potty when let out of his crate. If you feel he has successfully got potty training down pat, then it is time to give him his freedom back. Remove the door from his crate. At night, simply tell him to GO BED. He should go with no problems. If he doesn't, he needs more training.
20 minutes after he eats, tell him to GO POTTY. He should go with no problems.
If you have trained him to a litter box, you should not have to get up to take him potty any more. If you have trained him to go outside, you will need to continue to set your alarm for 4 hours into the night, and have someone let him out 4 hours after you leave until he is 6 months old. Also, although I have not done it, many people find it helps a lot to put a loud bell on the door, low, where the dog can reach it. Because they hear the bells every time the go out, they will associate that noise. They will automatically paw at the bell when they need to go out. As I have said, I have not done this training, but from people I know that have, they seem to pick it up automatically with no training.
Sometimes Dog's relapse on potty training. Normally it is because we stopped giving him affection and treats when he goes. Dogs don't need treats and affection every time. However, they need to know that there is a possibility that they might get one. So, at least 2-3 times a week make sure you give him a treat when he goes potty to prevent him relapsing
Sometimes dogs make a mistake and this is normal. However, if he has made 2 or more mistakes in one week, and he doesn't have a problem like diarreah, you need to go back to congratulating him every time he goes. If he still makes mistakes, you may have to crate train again. However, it should be easier this time
If/when he ever makes a mistake, ALWAYS clean the area with alcohol to remove the smell. Dogs go potty where it smells like potty.
OTHER COMMANDS
At this point, you should pretty much understand how to train your puppy. Teaching any command uses the same techniques. First do whatever you can think of to get her to understand what you want. Second, Treat and pet when she does it. Say GOOD before the command when she does it right (GOOD STAY). Always use hand signals. Always practice the commands every day for a week. Limit practice sessions to 5 minutes. Last, do a practice session using every command she knows at least once a week. If she doesn't use it she will lose it.
When teaching other commands like stay, sit, lay down, or heel you may want to begin by physically making her do what you want. It is ok to lay her down, then treat her as if she did it herself. This helps her to understand what you want. And remember, dogs want to please us. There is no reason to punish them if you reward them right. Punishing them only serves our selfish need to get our anger out.