President Clinton shouts across the street to reporters: "Can you believe this major league asshole expects that the American people are just gonna 'get over' him trampling their civil rights into the mud and stealing the Oval Office from my homey, Al? What a fucking moron!"

Showing almost as much interest in running the national Government of the United States as he has in learning just where all those dumb foreign leader guys come from, yesterday Smirk (R-No Justice? Not My Problem!) finished his whirlwind tour of Washington D.C.’s movers and shakers by meeting with President Bill Clinton (D-The Legitimate 42nd President) and Vice President Al Gore (D-The People’s 43rd President). Clinton, a true Southern boy, showed up Smirk for the Connecticut Redneck Wannabe he is by pretending to enjoy Smirk’s company immensely, and as soon as Smirk was lulled into a false sense of gemuetlichkeit, conning Smirk into accepting the United States "as is", avoiding costly repairs to its franchise system, economy and social safety net. "I really thought he would put his foot down about accepting the looming ecological meltdown, but that moron took the whole thing sight unseen." President Clinton confided to a close, personal friend. "I got him to pay me twice the normal security deposit, too. And I unloaded that God awful glow-in-dark Velvet Elvis wall hanging that Tom Delay gave me the Christmas before he tried to impeach me. I told Dubya it was painted by Thomas Jefferson’s widowed mother to commemorate a state visit by the King. They should just flat not let that boy outside without adult supervision."

We at the Possum County Daily Flapdoodle are not sure we'd be able to spend fifteen minutes smiling at Smirk, even if we were sworn to preserve and protect the Constitution.

After meeting with the President, Smirk continued onto the Vice President’s official Washington residence in order to totally ruin Gore’s day. "How bad would this suck?" Clinton mused, "When Al woke up, he was on vacation in the Caribbean, on the idyllic St. Thomas Island. Sure, he took his wife along, but Al’s like that. I have long since given up trying to talk sense into that boy about such things. Anyhoo, it starts out a beautiful, lazy Caribbean day and then he’s got to read in the morning papers that some idiots have nominated him to become the President of Harvard, but Harvard thinks he isn’t experienced enough for the gig! I do not know one way or the other if Al would even consider such an offer, but come on! I give the guy the keys to the friggin’ country every time I go out of town. I think he can run some measly little pissant University. Anyway, so he’s got to read that nonsense, then fly straight out of that Caribbean paradise up here to D.C. -- where it’s snowing, thank you very much! - - just to spend fifteen minutes offering his unconditional support and aid to nature’s perfect moron, who not only turned him down out of spite, but couldn’t recognize the value of Al’s advice if it walked up and bit him square on the ass. Do you know that idiot and his baby-sitters are already threatening to start Desert Storm II: The Blitzkrieg Continues? That rat bastard probably spent the whole time doing his passive-aggressive snorting and sniffing at Al, too. I just would not have gone there myself. I mean, Al’s a pretty level guy, but he must outweigh that inbred Nazi crackhead by at least seventy five pounds and that Army judo training just does not go away. Yep, one of the few things I have learned in this life is do not piss off a Vietnam vet if you can possibly help it. Not if you want to stay healthy."

The Pretender To The Throne vs. The People's President

Al looks MAD. What did Smirk say to him? Guess crime does pay, huh Einstein? I'm conceding for America's good. NOT!! Disney has made us a VERY attractive offer for Illinois. Civil Rights, Schmivil Rights. Got any brewskis? Who are those assholes yelling outside your house? So I said to Jebbie: Hey! Let's fix Tennessee TOO! I heard Tipper and I were the inspiration for 'Love Story'. You are SO on my list, Tree Boy. Results

Now that America has finally gotten a chance to see Smirk’s "Compassionate Conservatism" in action, now the Corporate Media Attack Chihuahuas have stopped smearing Al 24/7 and actually focused on other victims for a solid week, guess what the latest polls have discovered? Why - - Al Gore is popular with voters! Did you know his approval rating is back up to 57%? In fact, early December was THE ONLY TIME IN GORE'S POLITICAL CAREER THAT HIS APPROVAL RATING WAS LESS THAN 50%!!!! (Gosh, thanks for telling us that last October during the "Gore Lies" debacle! And "The Greens Will Steal The Election From Gore" farce! And think how much less stressful November and December might have been if we'd known that piddling little detail during the FREAKING ELECTION AND ITS AFTERMATH!!)

Largest Number of Popular Votes Received (+4 million, rounded):

1.Ronald Reagan, 1984	54,455,000
2. . Al Gore, 2000	50,970,857

Most Votes Received By A First-Time Presidential Candidate (+7 million, rounded) :

1. .Al Gore, 2000	50,970,857
2. . Ronald Reagan, 1980	43,901,812

Most Votes Received By A Vice President Running For President (+ 7 million, rounded):

1. . Al Gore, 2000	50,970,857
2. .George Bush, 1988	43,901,812

Largest Positive Margin Of Votes Received In A Close Presidential Election:

1. .Al Gore, 2000	+530,000 (rounded)
2. . Richard Nixon, 1968	+272,415
3. .John F. Kennedy, 1960	+119,450

Note: All historic vote totals are from the National Archives.
(Original table complied by The Maverick Republican)



I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANY MORE!
I give Senator Diane Feinstein her marching orders!

Keep your hand on the plow and your eyes on the prize.

Click on the link to the left to see my open letter to Senator Feinstein. Feel free to use it as a rough guide for writing your Democratic Senators! Remember, change it enough to make it your own letter or it becomes junk mail! Copy your Democratic Representatives, Senator Tom Daschle and Representative Dick Gephardt while you’re at it! Get as many Democrats writing Congress as possible! Let them know what WE want the agenda to be for the next Congress! (If you want to use this letter as a guide to writing Democratic Representatives only, remember that the House doesn’t get to vote on Federal judicial appointments.)

Remember to FAX, FAX, FAX, rather than email - - and let the opposition do all the research! Use the Freeper master list of fax numbers! Scroll WAY down past all the Florida legislature stuff to find the fax numbers for everybody and their Uncle Bubba in D.C.!

Even the Freepers at Newsmax.com know
that AL GORE WON!! Click on the link above if you don't believe me!

Smirk says: "This is my bestest friend ever, Jimmy. Jimmy showed me how to play Donkey Kong. Jimmy showed me how to watch Pokemon cartoons on the computer! Jimmy showed me how to make a secure online contribution to the Gore-Lieberman Recount Committee. Jimmy said if that dumb Gore guy and that dumb Lieberman guy get enough money, I will never have to do any of the really hard President stuff, like uniting the country and restoring faith in honest elections. I told Jimmy to give two million dollars. That sounds like a lot, but it was Jebbie's Visa card."

Want to get that Partisan Rage GOING?? Read some of the back issues of the Senate's Republican Policy Committee Policy Papers!

Read about the extremely evil Al Gore, wasting your tax dollars and GIVING INTERNATIONAL TERRORISTS A HELPING HAND!

Read about how passing the Dingell-Norwood Patient’s Bill Of Rights would INCREASE CANCER DEATHS!!

Read how the THE DEMOCRATS ARE CAUSING ALL THE PARTISAN ILL-WILL ON THE HILL!!!

Read THE TRUTH about Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Joe Lieberman and the rest of the EVIL, EVIL Democrats - - even the Starr Report missed the RAW, UNVARNISHED TRUTH!!


Do me a favor. Post this gif file on your site:

and link it to: http://www.oocities.org/possumcounty/current.htm
It's not like I'm asking for money or anything - - yet.

Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about His Fraudulency, George the Second, Pretender To The Throne, unaffectionally known by us peasants as that Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!

We are becoming like so way totally popular! Visit our close personal virtual friends:

The Fine Folks At Occidental Petroleum Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guys.
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.

Talk To The Possum!
Return To Possum County!

THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!

Thanks to Kevin@Cunninghamstrikes.com - - King Of The Phototoon!!

"If You Don't Know About Cunninghamstrikes.com - -
You don't know Smirk About Comedy!"