THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE Serving America - One Possum At A Time! NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!! Just who's in charge here, anyway?

THE CORPORATE MEDIA'S TOP TEN REASONS BUSH WON TOMORROW NIGHT'S PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

Reason number 10:

Gore cheated by buying a new suit that makes him look way hotter than our guy.

Reason number 9:

Destroying Democracy is like a total rush!

Reason number 8:

I'm not spending the next four years interviewing somebody named "Tipper"!

Reason number 7:

Gore's press conferences: Bor-ring. Bush's press conferences: A total hoot!

Reason number 6:

I'm still hacked Clinton won in 1992.

Reason number 5:

I can't even figure out how to use the Internet.

Reason number 4:

Governor Bush promised he'd share his cocaine if he won.

Reason number 3:

"You of Earth are stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!!"

Reason number 2:

I'm part of the wealthiest 1% and I want my f@$%!*ing tax cut.

And the Corporate Media's Number One Reason Bush Won Tomorrow Night's Debate is:

The Devil made me do it!

The Fine Folks At Fox and Halliburton Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guy.
Or Else.