THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE
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NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!!

Just who's in charge here, anyway?

Dateline: September 14, 2000
GORE CRIME WAVE SWEEPS NATION
(Back In The Saddle Again/Reuters)
"Vice" President Al Gore and other "Party Members" have no respect for private property!
Today the American public was shocked to learn that yet another Democratic Party Official who knew Vice President Al Gore (D-Fall Guy) by sight may have violated Federal Campaign Finance laws by asking a Texas law firm to donate money to the wrong party.

Karen Hughes, spokesperson for Republican Presidential candidate George W. Bush (R-H.M.S. Titanic) echoed the nation’s deep disillusionment with the criminal activities of "Vice" President Al Gore.
Rare F.B.I. survielance photo of Gore splicing an illegal cable hook up at Camp David!
"Thank God this earth shattering scandal was finally brought to light by those unsung loose cannons in the Justice Department, who had the foresight to reexamine documents that they have had in their possession for the last three years. Mercifully, they may have saved the American people from accidentally electing a President who is the worst criminal in history."

This latest scandal could not have come at a worse time for Gore, whose foundering campaign has only accumulated 24 more electoral votes than is necessary to win, and is a scant 50 electoral votes ahead of Bush. "The worstest part bout this here lates real awful type crime is how it detractimates so muchly from my nouncement bout that dumb Gore guy done caved like the great big whiny baby tree huggin Commanist all us Real Peoples knowed he am an finely agreened to debait me. Bout time he done it, too. I thinks the Americanian Peoples deserve a Prezidenkt what gone step up to the plate an put all his Real Plans for Real Peoples out there where everbuddy kin git a good, strong whiff. An that guy am me," Governor George W. Bush concluded fervently.


Are our law enforcement officials corrupt or merely incompetent?
Gore’s most shocking crimes go completely unpunished!
Here Gore flaunts international naval law by steering a Mississippi riverboat without a valid Confederate States of America Ship's Pilot license
Gore wore his hair this way throughout 1978.
Can we entrust the Presidency to anyone who could walk outside, looking like this?
I think not!
Busted!
Gore budges in the cafeteria line.
AGAIN!
Gore flagrantly violates the Fire Safety laws about the maximum number of people who may be allowed to vote for a Democratic Presidential candidate.


THIS JUST IN!!! Vitally strategic papers detailing the incredibly complex George W. Bush Presidential debate strategy and video tapes of the Governor actually DEBATING have been MYSTERIOUSLY mailed from Bush Campaign Headquarters in Austin to THE GUY PLAYING W. FOR GORE’S LAME SO-CALLED PRACTICE DEBATES. It seems clear to the meanest intelligence that THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. In the extremely unlikely instance that Governor Bush should "loose" the Presidential debates (and really, there are no losers, it’s an honor just to be nominated, isn’t it?) WE’LL ALL KNOW WHY.

Is Al Gore biologically incapable of playing fair? Or was it being raised from birth as the ultimate Washington insider that has corrupted him beyond any hope of redemption?

In a completely and totally unrelated story, Democratic National Committee Headquarters was broken into and at least three computers and a palm pilot were stolen.

I’d totally ignore this story if I were you.



The Fine Folks At Fox and Halliburton Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guy.
Or Else.




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