Dateline: September 17, 2000
Dear Daily Flapdoodle Spin Doctor:
I was among the millions who were filled with disgust and disillusion at the entire political process when I heard about Al Gore’s latest campaign finance scandal. Imagine my surprise when I read in the Los Angeles Times that the Department of Justice is not and has never been investigating Gore on this charge, due to lack of evidence. This must be the millionth time Gore has slipped through cracks just because he was innocent.
I have always believed that politicians are biologically incapable of doing anything except lying like rugs and robbing us blind. But Gore’s continual innocence is starting to weigh on my mind. I hear this tiny voice in my head saying: "If the Special Prosecutor has spent eight long years investigating this guy but hasn’t found thing one that he’s guilty of, maybe he’s on the level." Next it’ll be saying: "Maybe some politicians can do some good." My world no longer makes sense. Stop me before I vote!
Signed,
Lost Lamb in La-La Land
Dear Lost Lamb:
Don’t panic. You are just the latest victim of the vast Left Wing conspiracy that controls the Liberal Media Elite. Of course the L. A. Times would say he’s innocent! The Greater Los Angeles area is under control of the hyper-liberal Hollywood "mafia", who are all original FOBs. Plus, Clinton gave Janet Reno controlling interest in the L. A. Times immediately after she hushed up the Vince Foster murder. And now she’s getting Disneyland since she let that Chinese scientist guy who sold our nation’s nuclear secrets walk!
In short, Lost Lamb, there are two things to always remember about "Vice" President "Al" Gore:
1.) Buddhist Temple Fund raiser and
2.) Buddhist Temple Fund Raiser
Signed,
The Spin Doctor
P.S. You sound like you need to relax more. Have you thought about watching the Olympics for the next 52 days or so?
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Dear Daily Flapdoodle Spin Doctor:
