Up until just before my 12th birthday I was a beanpole. The skinny little girl who would rather climb trees, run and play. Mom had to call me in to eat. All that changed in 1969 when my Father died and some other family tragedies occurred just as I was going through puberty.
From size 5 and flat chested to size 14 and a 36 C in one year, and it just continued to get worse from there. I met my husband when I was 15 and we married when I was 17. I wore a size 18 1/2 wedding gown, the smallest size item I was to wear for the next 29 years.
I've tried just about every diet out there from nutritional supplements, to shakes, to counting calories, fat grams, carbs, diabetic exchanges, and several attempts at Weight Watchers over the years. We even had a group at our Church called Pray Off Pounds at one time.
In 1998, after having a tumor slightly larger than a grapefruit removed from my hip and by the Grace of God finding out it was benign, my doctor suggested putting me on his "Dr. B's no BULLS**T plan" which included taking pills. I told him "I didn't need pills to gain the weight, I don't need them to lose it either." He was skeptical, I was determined. I joined TOPS, a non profit weight loss support group and made daily visits to the chatroom at www.diettalk.com. I did well the first year, losing 92 pounds following a 1500 calorie per day diabetic exchange type diet. Then, our 25th wedding anniversary and a trip to Las Vegas to renew our vows. I returned with a 6 pound gain the same week I started my new career as a manager of a new office, surrounded by fast food and working longer hours.
Two months later, I went for my annual physical to hear wonderful Dr. B say " I found a lump in your breast, let's get you to a surgeon for more testing". So here I was, at the same surgeon who had removed my tumor the year before, now being tested for breast cancer. Needless to say, dieting took a back seat while I went through mammograms and ultrasounds and follow up visits, and once again, by God's Grace it was NOT cancer. The surgeon said it was "normal breast tissue" that I and my doctor had not felt before because it was buried in the fat. By now, I had gained back about 20 pounds.
Over the next 4 years, I gained a total of 108 pounds, higher than where I had started.
I joined Weight Watchers and started being "on plan" on August 1, 2003. I lost 11 pounds that first week on the winning points system. I was determined to stay on plan for 25 days so the behaviors I needed to follow could become habit. The second week we had the blackout of the Century, so no meeting, and the third week my husband and I went to Chicago on vacation. I returned with a 3.5 pound loss.
Mere words cannot express the wonderful feeling when my total loss reached a 3 digit number. I had never done that before in my life !
My leader, Jeannie, is a true inspiration having lost 106.6 pounds to goal and kept it off for 3 years. She is a beautiful and caring person who seems intuitively to know exactly what to say to keep me motivated.
All the behaviors I fought against while a TOPS member have proven to be just the things I needed to do. I have been on plan since August 1,2003 and continue to record every single thing I eat, drink a minimum of 8 glasses of water per day, exercise at least 3 times per week and eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables and 2-3 servings of dairy per day.
My biggest concern at the moment is excess skin. I have to accept that 30 years of weighing over 300 pounds is not going to disappear that quickly. As I get closer to goal, I hope to do more shaping and toning exercises. At the moment I am focusing on aerobic activity.
Rewards I have given myself along this journey:
25 days on plan = got a manicure
50 days on plan = new purse
75 days on plan = first ever leather coat
100 days on plan = perfume
first 50 pounds off = emerald earrings
125 days on plan = Escher print for my home office
150 days on plan = DVD player
175 days on plan = tickets to "The Producers"
first 100 pounds off = gold neckchain
I've stopped rewarding myself every 25 days as I am now spending more money on smaller size clothes. It's extremely important to enjoy this journey and not just focus on the destination. I am trying new foods, experiencing new things. The Producers was the first play I'd been to since the orignal Evita in the early 80's. One of my girlfriends is going to "Brunch with Bach" with me at the Institute of Arts soon. I "hope" to ride on a roller coaster this Summer, if I can find a willing partner. My husband is afraid of heights....anybody else want to join me ????
I acheived the goal of this page, Onederland, as in a weight of 199.9 pounds or less on 7/15/04.
November 30, 2004
I am 17.2 pounds from goal. I don't recognize myself in the mirror, and have FINALLY found a hairstyle I like. . I doubt that has a thing to do with weightloss, just an illustration of how we are always reinventing ourselves.
My husband went through a rough patch in Sept and Oct first with congestive heart failure and then with having his gallbladder removed. I have now gone "off plan" 3 days in the last 487. In the past, one day off plan would lead to six months and gaining back a ton of weight. I have learned to forgive myself and move on. Weight Watchers technique of anchoring has been extremely helpful in this endeavor.
Even more helpful, is the constant support and encouragement of friends, both in person and on the internet. The friends I have made on the GoaD board are all on the same path, some at lifetime, some still on the journey with me.
Reflecting on my weight loss to date, I have gained or stayed the same 20% of the time, yet have lost close to 150 pounds. It's not the day to day, it's doing the right thing everyday that is making a long term difference.
I got out of the exercise habit while my husband was ill. Now I need to refocus again, and whittle off these last 17.2 pounds to goal, lifetime and beyond :)
GOAL !!!! FEBRUARY 17, 2005 Day 566
LIFETIME !!! April 7, 2005 Day 615
Update December 24, 2005
Like Deja Vu all over again (to quote Yogi Berra) I have once again gone through another breast cancer scare. Went for my annual exam just before Thanksgiving only to hear dear Dr. B once again say "I feel a suspicious fullness here". This time I was whisked to the lab for mammogram and ultrasound the very same day. Talk about scaring the daylights out of me! THEN I had to wait until December 7th for my results. Now you'd think that a lifetime member with 2 years of WW experience would handle this ok, NOT. Went back to those old binge behaviors and gained 12.5 pounds during this waiting period. So here I am, back on plan, a little over goal and working to get back down again. And yes, Thank GOD I do not have cancer.
I am so much more than a number on a scale and days on plan truly is the one thing I can control myself. Not any medications, illness or stress, just *ME*. So my new goal is to remain on plan all the way to day 1000 which will be April 27, 2006. It won't be 1000 consecutive days, it will be 1000 days since joining WW, but I truly believe I can do this. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
February 27, 2006 Update
A couple great things! I am now 17.9 pounds from goal.
My favorite leader, then one I lost all my weight to goal with, now has a Wednesday morning class that I can attend....YAY!
I got an e-mail from the National Weight Control Registry suggesting I send my success story to the Oprah Winfrey Show! WOW! I talked it over with my Sister and we sent our story in. Don't know how long it will take for a reply but it is definitely helping to motivate me to stay on plan.
PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL NEW UPDATES ARE IN MY
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