| YUDGE!!!! |
| Yudge. The name says it all. Actually the name says nothing, but hey. Once an enemy of the STA in many many conflicts, the Yudge is now a gentle creature, forced to live a life of seclusion and isolation. He still smells really bad, though, and the new STA, commonly known as RENT, has started a campaign to make him smell better (this is impossible, as the battle royale with Lynx uncovered, but the new boss is just too damn cocky). The first agent to go in was completely blown apart from his stench. His remains were scattered over a vast distance and other RENT agents tried painstakingly to put him back together. This is one of these agents at work: |
 |
| We will remember him. His family requested that his name be not told, so as the media won't bother them anymore. He served us well. He has become a martyr amongst RENT agents, and we shall avenge his death, along with the awful tragedy that happened to Agent Joanne. |
| Another fine piece of information is that Yudge smells funny. By the way did we tell you he smells? Yeah, thought not. Well he does. Badly. Like smelly cheese, actually. Or so two fine agents thought. They, however, were deserters and left STA (as it was called at the time) to go forth and write a novel about their experiences and make big money off it too. If you, too, are a jackass and wish to purchase their book, just look for this cover; |
 |
| But as we were saying. During the late 1990's, the members of the STA were battling Yudge with all they had. These battles were furious. Nothing was held back. Every major brand of deodourant on the market was used against the creature, but nothing worked. We were losing more and more men and women by the second and something had to be done. This was, of course when Lynx stepped in. But that's another story entirely. Which shall be told now. Lynx was a brave young deoudourant. Yudge was a stinky young animal. They were bound to meet sometime somewhere. The STA had been developing a yudge-proof chamber for some years. The crazy scientists who had been in the lab for one too many years thought they had it. There were layers of Mum, Rexona, even Gillette deodourants, but the small sample of Yudge they had just burst through this wall like a hot knife through butter. Something had to be done. The word had been spread through the headquaters that the Yudge was invading. All members were to take cover in the Yudge-proof chamber. The crazy scientists (chiefly Mr Harvey) pleaded with admin. to not go in the chamber yet as it was simply just not ready. All could see the problem but time was running out. This was when Lynx stepped in. Lynx and Yudge were old high school friends. Lynx was once evil, but gave up his past to join the STA and fight bad smells. Yudge never forgave him for this. The battle that followed was an amazing demonstration of gallantry and stupidity. The scene was set. It was a damp, dark, moldy day when Yudge stepped out of the smoke that was the battlefield:stinky. All that lay around him was endless destruction. The STA had fought a hard battle, but defeat seemed like the final, awful solution. Until a hard, cold voice came from within the smoke. "Hello, Yudge." Said Lynx, in a psuedo British accent, but not as rough as Patrick's one. "So, Lynx, we meet again." Said Yudge in, well, it's hard to describe Yudge's weird as accent on the internet. Imagine if gorganzola could talk, then add off milk. Leave for fifteen years to decompose, and then sound squishie. Welcome to Yudgeville. What happened next is a blur to all parties involved. All we can uncover is that the STA won with a little help from Lynx. Lynx went missing, however, and his whereabouts is now unknown. Our sources say that he's on a shelf in Priceline, but we doubt it. Maybe he's in the PE changerooms. Who knows. There is more to this story. Actually there's nothing more to this story except for Yudge's girlfriend (yes, even Yudge has a girlfriend, so it isn't that hard), Phoebe. |
| ..... |
 |
| This is not a photo of Yudge. |
 |
