Morning people- people who are able to get up and be cheerful make me want to puke. These people are supernatural or something. I sleep till 1 and I'm still groggy whenever I wake up. If I ever get married, my one requirement is that she not be a morning person. Anything else I can deal with, but not people who wake up happy.
Movies with overused plots- Teens who get trapped in the woods and begin dissapearing one by one. That is probably the most overused plot movies use. I have yet to find one that is original however.
Nails on the chalkboard- whever I make this sound I try to figure out why people hate it so much. However, when I see and hear others making it I can't stand it. Go figure.
Nausea- You're sick, but you're not. You feel like your going to toss your cookies, but it never happens. All you get is a sick chuning sensation in your stomach. Not even enough to miss school over.
Neat freaks- just drop it wherever you want. Why must everything be clean? Not only do these people obsess about their own cleanliness, they try to conform my slobbiness as well. I don't care if you clean your own room, but when your in mine don't you dare touch anything!
Needing to pee with no bathroom around- When I was in 5th grade I was on the bus ride home from a field trip when all of a sudden I had to take a pee like never before. I tried to hold it in as best as possible. Knowing I wouldn't have a bathroom for another six minutes made the wait unbearable.I felt like my hips were going to explode. I barely made it, but it was scary for a while.
Nerve spasms- Ever been sitting down thinking about whatever, and all of a sudden your whole body lurches in a very odd way? It's very quick, but your entire body moves. Then people stare at you wondering "What's this guy on?" Happens to me all the time. I've discovered I can make it happen for a long time by chugging a Red Bull on an empty stomach.
Not getting the concept until after the test- This was a major problem for me during physical science. I would be taught something that I didn't really understand no matter how many times I heard about it. My test grade usually averaged at about a "C". Then after the test I go "OOHHH YEAH." Now I get it.
Opera- When I say opera I'm only talking about the kind in another language. I actually went to an opera that was sung in English, and it was pretty good. When I can't understand what's being said the plot has no meaning to me, and I don't enjoy it. Yet at the same time I think Shakespeare is the shiznit (I like the "word" shiznit. Not really sure what it means, but I like using it). Maybe I'm just crazy.
Other people being sarcastic- I am th only one who is allowed to give sarcasm. Case closed.
Overdone parodies- This is kind of like overused plots, but I think it deserves a separate catagory. We have all seen hundreds of parodies of Star Wars, The Blair Witch Project, and The Matrix. I don't want to see any more. Please, let us move on already. Parodies are neat and all, but people need to know when it's time to stop making them on one movie.
Overpriced goods- I just saw this in a catalog. It's a box. Here's what you do. Take several dollar bills, and tape them together end to end. Then stick them in the box,and feed the roll through the slit. Give as a gift. $5 FOR A BOX!!! IT'S A FREAKIN' BOX OKAY! YOU HAVE LOTS OF THEM AT HOME! WHY ARE YOU PAYING $5! BOXES ARE NOT WORTH $5! THEY ARE WORTH 75 CENTS!
Paper Cut- They're small. You can't even see them. But they hurt like hell. Who would have thought that a thin fragile object could cut through human flesh?
Passing gas in class- I have only done this once, and it is not pretty. People will remind you of it until they get bored and move on to something else. This can be anywhere from sixty seconds to three weeks. It's embarrassing yes, but it is actually better than holding it in. If you hold it in it will build up and escape anyway through one of two ways. 1. It will force its way out in small incriments, and you will make very odd noises until it has all left. 2. It will build up and exit in one big blowout. The best thing to do it just to let it out at once, unless there's not much time till the bell rings.
Pencil breaking during a test- Many teachers will not allow you to sharpen your pencil during a test. And if you do all the students in the class will glare at you until after you've sat back down. Many times I have chewed my pencil down until it is sharp or written with the small piece of graphite that broke off.
People who buy lottery tickets- The chances of winning are about one in one BILLION. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU WILL WIN ON THOSE ODDS!? Seriously people, we will have mastered time travel before you have won the lottery. Now if you're buying just because you have a dollar to blow, and you think it might be king of fun to see how you do then that's okay. It's the people who sit at their TV goin "pleasepleasepleaseplease," who bother me.
People who change their mind and assume you know they did- As I stated earlier, I will never have super powers (maybe). I can't read minds, so why do these people assume I can? One of my coworkers says "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me." Well you anyway.
People who don't listen- People don't listen to me. That's why I like having this site. You are either forced to listen to me, or you leave. It's one or the other. If you turn away from the screen, the words are still there when you turn back around. Skids (see my thoughts page) is the person who ignores me the most. He is my best friend and he never pays attention to me. Either that or he cuts me off. Many times I'm trying to tell him something important, ask him for advice, or just tell him a story, but he won't listen, and I'm not about to repeat everything I just said. Many times what I'm trying to tell him is important to me, and nothing feels worse than to have him blow it off as me rambling, which I usually say I was doing so I don't have to repeat anything. This is why I don't talk about my problems with him. I always listen to his problems and try to offer the best advice I can think of, but when it comes to me who cares? Actually besides all that he really is a good friend. Just not in the listening department. Though recently he's gotten much better.
People who don't realize what a genius I am- Isn't it obvious?
People who don't shut up- These people are usually the ones who don't listen (Skids isn't too bad in this area). Most of the time you just want to shout at them. However, if you do then they won't shut up about how rude you are. The only time I enjoy their company is when I can't think of anything to say. Then they save me the trouble of talking.
People who talk during movies- My favorite commercial is the one where this guy is in a movie theatre talking nonstop. "Don't go in there." "I knew that would happen." "This is a load of crap." Finally someone chunks the yellow m&m guy at him and he is knocked out.
People who try to hard to stand out- They dress in clothing we didn't know ever existed. They boast about how they are not in a click (I have no idea if that is how it's spelled). But most of them are just plain annoying. None of us care. It's neat to meet a person who stands out, but someone who points out that they are different really isn't that different after all.
Personal Space invasion- Ever have some weirdo come within a few inches of you and start chatting? You're leaning back trying to get air. What's strange is that this person will move in closer everytime you move back. Maybe he thinks you guys are dancing or something. Finally you mave behind another object to get away from this freak who doesn't realize he is centimeters away from giving you a hug. I only allow a few people in my personal bubble.
Pop-up ads- What would a ranting site be without a section on pop-ups? Unfortunately I had to have an ad on my site in order to avoid paying a fee to the good people at www.oocities.org. They slow down the loading time of your site, and actully take up more screen space than the site itself does.
Power point- power point is the most useless invention ever made. Basically the presenter reads what is written on the screen, only special effects are added to make a boring presentation redundant.
Public bathrooms- A place where a bunch of other guys can say "so how's it hangin" while your in mid stream. Yeah that's a great invention. I've actually been to a place with a trough. It's a urinal made for about three people (no barriers to give you privacy).
"Quit playing that song"- I have destroyed many a radio due to the repetition of annoying songs.
Quotational fingers- Come on. You know you look stupid doing this.
Reality Shows- I decided that one little blip was not enough to fully express how I feel about reality shows, so I stuck an essay about them into my site. To read it click here.
School- To be honest the only reason I go is to see my friends. I'm not exactly the kind of person who would skip, but it would be an epic battle to get me to go. I have to get up early, and be expected to cram eight hours worth of knowledge into my already tired head.
Screaming children- Now I like little kids. I hope to be a father someday. Well... I'm still pondering if fatherhood is really right for me. But when other people's kids just won't stop screaming, I seem to think that maybe I should adopt a 10 year old. The parents don't seem to care either. The pretend it isn't happening, and get upset when you request they do something. "There's nothing we can do. He'll shut his trap soon enough."
Sequels that suck- The main one I can think of it Batman and Robin. I absolutely loved the very first two Batman movies. However, as the films progressed the directors (damn you Joel Schumaker) decided that they wanted to make the movie more like the old TV show. Now I think that the TV show is hilarious, because its not supposed to be serious (they have bat-shark repellent spray), but the movies were serious, and the jokes weren't even funny. Ironically that movie is the only one in the series I own.
Shedding- I remember I was at a party (not the kind with booze and idiots jumping up and down) and the host had a dog. I like dogs, so I was playing with it. I was wearing a dark grey jacket, and its fur was a very light brown. At the end it looked like I was a target for animal rights activists.
Singers who try to act and actors who try to sing- Don't quit your day job. That is my advice to them. Singers and actors rarely make a good transition from the professions. Eminem, Mariah Carey. Neither of them are any good at either jobs, but when comparing singing to acting, I would inform them to sing.
Skinny people who think they look fat- There is a guy at my school who is, I think, either 90 or 120 pounds. He is as skinny as any supermodel in any magazine. He still thinks he needs to loose weight. I on the other hand am in limbo between skinny and chubby. I guess you would say I'm husky. I'm not yet chubby, but I'm not skinny either. I look like someone who should be skinny, but I'm a pig as well, so it didn't work out that way. I don't feel like I'm fat. I do want to loose some inches, so I can be qualified as skinny. This guy is thinner than most females in my school, and he says he's fat. What gives?
Slow downloads- Many times when I get an e-card, or am at a humour site, it takes forever to download something incredibly simple. Meanwhile I don't do anything because I'm not sure how long it will take. When I realize that it has taken a while I consider getting something to keep me busy, but then I'm like "well it's probably getting close to done by now." In short I end up spending two hours staring at my screen.
