Even a reverse side has a reverse side
Be the hammer not the nail
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most
I'm not crazy; my reality is just different than yours
A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people o make it worth the while.
Love your enemies, it ticks them off
Don’t poke an angry swarm of bees
Don’t push on a pull door
People don’t listen; they just wait till their turn talk
If evil people want to destroy the earth, where do they plan to live?
It’s better to let someone think your an idiot, than to open your mouth and prove it
Next time you think you’re perfect, try walking on water
Never fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose
If toast always falls butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, then what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat, and drop it?
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn’t doing the same thing
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger when they get closer, and then it hit me
Organized people are just too lazy to look for stuff
Don’t spit into the wind. Trust me on this one
I consider the lottery a tax on the stupid.
