Anyways, this page merely represents my opinion about this whole
Alanis Morissette thing, and it might offend you if you're an Alanis
fan. So you've been warned. If you don't like the page, then
there's that handy little 'back' button on your web browser.
So many people forget about that.
On with the page!
Alanis has been described as being 'the ideal representative
of the Canadian music scene'...but why? Well, she sold a whole bunch
of albums, that's why! But, before the 1995 Grammy awards, she did
not seem to proud of her Canadian roots, granting interviews to only
American reporters, ignoring the Canadian media.
So, she'd turn her back on her native country, in order to get a little
extra press? Yep, sounds like an *ideal* representative.
Alanis, along with her label, Maverick, have banned Alanis'
first two dance/pop albums ("Alanis", and "Now Is the Time"),
which I find to be incredibly cheesey. Back then she was a little
dance/pop queen, which suited her at the time. But oh no, now she's
the Altera-Queen, and dance music is oh-so-unpopular, so she
musn't be associated with dance music. That would ruin her image and
disillusion her brigades of angry alterna-girl followers.
Ack! She is SO damned whiny! She whines more than *I* do!
Courtney Love said that Alanis presents a safe form of female "rage".
I agree with her. Alanis' rage is very safe, because it's an acceptable
form for a female to possess....rage about being dumped by a man. Alanis basically
needs to get over this guy, and find out that there's more wrong with this
world than bad relationships......ooooHhH....but that might be scary and
REAL, mightn't it Alanis?
Why I Dislike Alanis...As A Songwriter
Alanis is causing the downfall of the English language! In "Ironic",
she manages to use the word ironic improperly about 800 times (okay, so maybe
I exaggerate a little....).
Hand In My Pocket...Alanis sings:
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm young and I'm underpaid
When in her life has Alanis been broke, poor, or underpaid?
Let's see her lineup of jobbies...well, she was on YTV's
"You Can't Do That On Television" at 11, recorded an album
in 1990 ("Alanis"), a second album in
1992 ("Now Is the Time"), did a TV
movie in 1993, and "Jagged Little Pill" has sold about a billion
copies..(there are so many naive people in this world...)...so I doubt that Alanis has ever had REAL money problems...
and I thought that her songs were about her? Did she lie? hm.
Hmm...One hand in her pocket? One has to assume that she is counting all her "hard-earned"(sic) money...
The "I was in a bad relationship, and I got dumped album" has
been done before. It has been done before many many many times.
It has been done before much better many many many times.
Relationships don't often work out, such is life.
It seems that Alanis gets most (ALL) of the credit for the songs
that she performs. Pardon me, but is Glen Ballard not the
CO-WRITER of all these songs? Give shame where shame is due, please!
Why I Don't Like Alanis...Miscellaneous
Her appearance. Not that she's ugly, she's far from it. But,
I saw her on various awards shows and...she looked like she had just
hopped out of the gutter. I mean, if someone's giving you a whole
shitload of awards...couldn't you at least wash your hair and put on
a clean shirt?
She can't sing.
This really can't be considered her fault, but she really has not
had to work to get where she is. It seems as though there has been
someone leading her by the hand all the way to stardom. I don't
think she had to do all that much work, compared to other musicians...
How can she call herself "alternative", when she's sold how many
million albums? Due to the fact that this is what her and her record
label wanted, why can't they all just admit that she's mainstream?
Alanis dear, you *are* the mainstream...you're right up there with
Mariah Carey, Paula Abdul and all the others who have whored their souls
out in return for commercial success.
Okay, Alanis. Bungee running? One would think that you would have left that behind with your first two albums...
Ways Alanis Could Improve
Wet hair....lather....rinse....repeat if desired.
Electro-shock therapy, anyone?
Learn what IRONY really is! Look it up, cause it sure as hell isn't getting stuck in traffic....Gee, you'd think
that such a proud Canadian wouldn't resort to using the incorrect _American_ interpretation of what the definition is...
To quote a Sonic Youth song...'honey...here's a quarter...go put it in a washing machine.'
Hmm...how about shooting up before concerts, so maybe then she'd have an excuse for being so pathetic. And hey, all the cool Alternative Rock Stars do it, so therefore she would be that much more alternative! Maybe if she's lucky, she'll oversose...and as we all know, dead "alternative" rock whores...I mean stars...are "super-kewl" and sell lots of records....whee!
Much much much more to come!
Other evil people who deserve anti-pages...Hate is fun!
People e-mail me telling me they listen to Alanis because she's
the most powerful female singer out there....Uhm..Yeaaah...go listen to something else.