| This page is reserved for guy-bashing jokes. Trust me, I love guys as much as the next girl (maybe more? I've been told I'm pretty bad), but let's face it: there are just times when guys have to be bashed on. Come on, guys, we all know you complain about us, too. So here you go, girls, and have fun! |
| Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares? Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three, if you slice them very thinly. Q. Why do men get married? A. So they don't have to hold in their stomachs anymore. Q. What do you do when your boyfriend walks out? A. Close the door. Q. What did God say after he created man? A. "I've gotta be able to do better than that!" Q. What did God say after he created Eve? A. "Practice makes perfect." Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature. Q. What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A. A widower. Q. Why did God make women so beautiful? A. So men would love them. Q. Why did God make women so dumb? (HEY!) A. So they'd love men. Q. Why did Moses wander the desert for forty years? A. He wouldn't ask for directions. Q. What is the thinnest book in the world? A. What Men Know About Women. Q. How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. One. Men will screw anything. Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They're both empty from the neck up. Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. No one knows. It's never been done. Q. What's the differnce between men and E.T.? A. E.T. phoned home. Q. What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A. A hot dog and a six-pack of beer. Q. How do you save a man from drowning? A. You take your foot off his head. Q. Why is a man like linoleum? A. Lay him right the first time, and you can walk all over him for the next twenty years. Q. Why does a man always have a clear conscience? A. Because it's never been used. Q. Why are men so happy? A. Hey, ignorance is bliss. Q. Why can't men mind their own business? A. No mind, and no business. Q. How many men does it take to make popcorn? A. Three. One to hold the pan and two to show off and shake the stove. Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. |
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