| Random Thoughts: * Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. *If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. *Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out on its own. *Go for younger men. You might as well; they never mature anyway. *Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself type. *Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. *If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. *Remember that sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his. *Sadly, all men are created equal. *Women prefer the simple things in life - like men. *Boys will be boys, but one day all girls will be women. *I only wanted to have a child, not marry one. *The average man is proof enough that women can't take a joke. *If you catch a man, throw him back. *Men call women birds. Is that because of all the worms women pick up? |
| Sucks to be Guys! *Guys have to take out the garbage. *Guys don't have sofas in their restrooms. *Even if a man gets his head caught in an industrial woodchipper, he's not allowed to cry. *Ribbed for her pleasure. *Guys can't flirt their way out of a jam. *"Women and children first." |
| Things You Will Never Hear a Guy Say: *"I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude." *"I think hairy butts are really sexy." *"Sometimes I just want to be held." *"Screw Monday Night Football; Melrose Place is on." *"Honey, I'm going to the store. Do you need some more tampons?" *"Do these jeans come in lavender?" *"My butt's too big. Don't lie, it's true. I know my butt's too big." *"I'm sick of beer. Gimmie a fruit juice with a lemon twist." *"I understand." *"Damn these onions; pass me a tissue." |
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