Harold And The Cat By The Toasty-Fried Co-op
	First and foremost in our minds was the way to make a lot of big, chewy cookies out of lard and pizza. It wasn't easy. First, we had to make a pizza.      The lard came out of our pig, Harold, who died in a car accident last Friday. We then made cookies. They were not very tasty, because we forgot to make them with sugar, flour, and chocolate.      Next, we tried making a batch of minced onions, but we didn't have any onions, so we used Harold's brain. It wasn't very tasty, either, so we used it for spackling for our bathroom tile. It smelled like old pork and burning rubber.      We got tired, so we slept for seven hours in the bathtub. We woke with heavy breathing coming from our sink. I jumped and hit my head on the sink, and bled from my eyes. The dog lapped up the blood and jumped onto the sink from floor. He attacked my cat with his trusty teeth. The cat was scared. He screamed at the dog, and ran out of the bathroom. The cat ran into the oven, where we had baked Harold's lard, which was still not finished.      We opened the oven and found that our cookies had burned, and the cat ate them all, and the cookies grew to enormous size inside the cat, causing huge festering sores to appear like glamourous Bedouin starlets on his fleshy body.                                               The End
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