The Horrible Tale By The Toasty-Fried Co-op
	We've made much of nothing, we've made much of nothing. This horrible story, this foul-smelling ugly tale, this melodrama of pure crapola has no moral or substance to speak of. So, we've decided to relate our story, in fact, we're going to begin immediately.      When we tell this story, boy, will you like it! Because it is very special, lengthy tale, we'll tell it in three parts. The first part is called "The Original Transcript" The story is not that bad, in fact, it is superbly calculated to induce great feelings of sheer orgonic bliss. The details are extremely sketchy. We wrote them to confuse and irritate you. It requires great endurance for you to listen to the entire work in all three episodes. You had better get real comfortable for a while, because this story is extremely tedious. You'll probably get a headache before we're finished.      Part Two is even longer. It may take years to relate all of the epic to you.      Part Three is not even close to being finished, because it transcends all of our ability to tell it. Reading is sometimes better for stories, but not for this story. You will regret asking us to tell it to you. Gee, what a nerve we have!      We've established an organization dedicated to the telling of our horrid story, and we've hired many of the staff from classified ads in the back of the magazines that are banned everywhere. Former Miss America, Vanessa Williams, loves our storytelling because the length satisfies her dramatic tendencies. We like reading to pornstars also. They give us pleasure by listening attentively despite the terrible, tedious tales that we relate. In fact, we've created a special club which gives free advice about storytelling, so you can do what you want.      Lawmen dislike us because we disturb them while they try to sleep, by droning on and on over their radios and causing much anxiety.      We haven't told our story lately because it is too horrible.                                                     THE END
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