Fifty-first day of Spring, Year of the Bear (midday) [5/4/02]
I just had a most… interesting, informative, thoughtful… conversation with Kywyn. I left for a walk, and saw him in the street. He presents no end of a puzzle, and not only to me, it seems. One of the questions he asked me was if my duty seems futile. I told him no, which is true. I wondered if he had been losing hope for some reason on a cause he may be following--but what sort of cause could that one follow? He spoke that Treble may not be joining us on the expedition to the ruins. He said that Daron distrusts the lords, as I already suspected. He made me realize that I should get out more if I’m to perform my duty effectively--perhaps the first step will be to again seek resolution with Agathalos. The time feels right to do so. Kywyn also sounded me on the front of what I hold my duty to be, asking me if I was indeed a paladin--the word seemed to come hard for him. I told him the truth. He asked me something to the effect of, “Have you ever thought on how shadows only exist when caused by the light?” I answered him truthfully again: no. He mentioned gray to me again, and told me when I asked him that he is somewhere in the middle. He also said that evil isn’t something concrete--I think him wrong there. I mentioned my practice of defending, then striking out at the attack, and he told me to consider if “the root is darker than its branches.” I agreed, mentioning the lack of wisdom in acting hasty.
His most important statement came as we parted: if I should believe that the darkness inside of him is growing too great, I should tell him my mind. He disagreed when I said he may do more for the Light than he knows, but I believe so, regardless of what he may think.
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