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| Sun, July 1, 2001 |
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| What are the best ways to make small talk? Here they are: CONVERSATION STOPPERS (for initial conversations) debating heavy lecturing overuse of wit exaggerating generalizing fabricating one word answers passive answers backbiting gossiping monopolizing cogitating or thinking out loud Conversation should be like a ball bouncing back and forth with no one holding on too long or passing it too quickly. Show interst in the person you are talking to. Conversation includes being a good listener. Ask open ended questions that give room for explaination. Closed ended questions that bring about one word answers are conversation killers. People like to talk about themselves and like to have others show interest. FEAR OF REJECTION We all have this. Remember, being rejected by someone that doesn't know you means nothing. It is merely a reflection of what the other person is feeling at the time or perceives is right for them. Maybe you remind them of someone else. It may be something else in their lives at the moment that has nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally. I know, much easier said than done. Make yourself approachable. Remember the letters in the word SOFTEN. Smile Open body posture Forward lean Touch (not good for guys initially, but ok for women) Eye contact Natural behavior On the touching part: guys will want to avoid this early on because it implies aggression. That is not the first impression that you want to make. But for women, just a little tap on the shoulder or arm can be a good way to relax the person you are with. |