21 - Yesterday I got pissed at Judy. I had a really bad day yesterday; I am sick and tired of just about everyone in my life. I want to run away. There is a job that just opened up here at the City I am going to try for and there are also two jobs in Portland I am going to apply for. I went to see Static-X and Soil last night; they kicked ass. I asked 6 people to go with me as I had an extra ticket. I ended up going alone; big surprise! I still had a great time though. I ran into Cody, Dave and Frank. Cody says "call me!".. ya.. I always call him.... he can call me, damn it! I stopped by Mitch's house and left a note on his truck telling him to have a good day.
26 - What a lousy week I had last week. I still miss Josh terribly. I just don't understand how I can miss something so much that I never really had. I went to see a band play at a bar Friday night and this drunk guy who smelled like vomit kept bugging me for my phone number and wouldn't stop breathing or spitting on me when he talked. Saturday afternoon/evening I went to a naked pool party at someone's house. It was coo. Sunday I went to CG and also enjoyed myself. I talked to a couple for a really long time about the Red Rooster; I think I may go check it out this week sometime. I saw Mitch this morning; I just handed him 2 waters, told him to have a nice day and drove off. I signed up for about 7 e-groups today related to getting a job in Portland and also one about nudists in Portland. I really want to go home to the NW! Money is becoming less and less important to me.
27 - Josh is an idiot; thank god I didn't get more involved with him. I am finding most people in general are selfish, rude and ignorant, and today I am wondering if I even want to be among the breathing. Sure I've met nice people, but after I get to know them they are just like everyone else deep down inside and everything that seemed "good" about them was just a front to suck you into their fucked up lives. I am also becoming more and more convinced that God is nothing more then the very first fairy tale character. Starting today, I am going to do my best to distance myself emotionally from the human race.
31 - Tue night I went to the RR which was interesting; I was a good girl. I don't know if I will go back or not. Wed night I met Iron Mitch at the Suncoast pool party. I showed him how to people watch, grope while walking though a crowd and explained how a mosh pit works and how it serves my "agenda". He thinks I am nuts. Thurs I was supposed to meet Rick at the KOMP mini-kegger but we didn't hook up. He called me later to say he just got off work. We talked for over an hour and got along great; we have some cool things in common. We had lunch yesterday and I thought it went well; he is very nice and cute. He told me to call him later that day to read his astrology thing to him; I did; he didn't answer or call me back :-(. I went to be a battle of the band judge last night at the Cannery; that is a cool venue. There were not that many people there which was sad because the bands were good. Martin was supposed to meet me there. I called to make sure he was coming because if he wasn't, I was going to invite someone else to come. He said he was coming, but didn't show. I think he is freaked but thats ok because a) josh was trying to hook us up b) he is only seperated, not divorced and c) i didn't really have that good of a feeling about him anyway. Yesterday I was stoked after lunch about Rick. Now that Rick hasn't called and Martin didn't show up, I am back to feeling like shit. John (an old guy from Single Volunteers) was there last night and kept telling me how great I look. Why do all the men who I don't want shower me with compliments? Why do some men say I am such a great catch and others seem to run away screaming?
