20 - It has been 11 months today since my surgery. I have lost 122 pounds. Yes, the scale finally started moving again. I am down to 188 and I am feeling great. Wanna feel me? he he. I still trip out sometimes when I see myself in the mirror. Damn, I am fine! haha I am still suffering from depression though. This past weekend, I tried to stay busy again; that really helps. For the most part, since I have moved in my new place, I have been home a lot more and not as busy as I used to be. Its a good thing that I WANT to stay home more because I like where I am, but I miss being busy and feeling better. I had a blind date Friday night. He was very nice and we got along well but there wasn't really an "attraction" I don't think. I saw Rob (see entry from Sept 15th) on Saturday night. He is cute, but there are enough red flags that I should run away screaming. He does not show his emotions (which he told me used to drive his girlfriends crazy) so he is very hard to read. I don't mind a little hard work, but I don't like to work hard to figure people out or have to assume things. He is not normally what I would find physcially attractive, but yet I am very attracted to him. He is very mysterious so I guess I find that challenging. I have decided to try my hardest to not call him and see if he calls me. Grrrr... I have no patience. Although I do like Rob, I still think about Josh. He is very young and has many issues, but I felt so comfortable with him and felt like I could do or say anything around him; that felt great! I hope he calls someday and we can at least be friends. I have decided to write a book about my life; it will be called "All my boyfriends have girlfriends - The story of my life".
16 - I saw a plastic surgean Friday. I liked him and felt comfortable with him. He said he could probably do my boobs, arms and belly at the same time. However, my legs are quite another story. He said he will only do one at a time and not in conjuction with anything else. Boobs, Belly and Arms are $11,555. Lets are almost 10k for both. On another note.. been pretty depressed about not having a love in my life for V-Day or my B-Day. However, I have two blind dates today and I did something completely insane today. Last week, I waved at the trash guy to say "thank you" as we had more trash out there then normal. I didn't intend on paying much attention to him when I decided to wave and mouth "thank you"... but he waved back and shot me this killer smile that just about knocked me out. He looked so happy and mmmmm. So this morning (a week later), I planned to check him out a little more, but I slept in a little as today is a holiday. I heard the trash guys and jumped up to look out the window. Yup.. thats him! So I got ready for the day and chased him down. Ya, I have reached a whole new level of pathetic desperation. :-) I did find him and let him know that he has a very beautiful smile. He seemed very flattered. If I could just see his smile every monday morning (trash day).. I think I would have a much nicer week!
20 - Today is my Birthday and 1 year Anniversery date of my surgery. I am down 130 pounds. I now weigh 181. I weigh less then I did in 1990 when I returned home from my honeymoon! I weighed 173 on my wedding day, but gained 10 pounds in the week of my honeymoon.. awe, wonderful beginnings.. haha. I have been fighting a cold all week. I am getting some photos done of me today and then going to see Linkin Park/POD/Hoobastank tonight. I am excited about the photos as they serve as a "after" as well as a "before". I am hoping to have plastic surgery soon and well have another set of "after" pictures when that is through. I got a beautiful flower arrangement from my friend at work this week. I do have some really special friends!
23 - Concert was cool, pictures turned out AWESOME! I can't believe the changes in a year. I saw the trash guy this morning. We talked over a half hour. I dig him A LOT! I am very, very excited to get to know him more.
