The minute church services are over you go straight for the bar and get smashed.
You only go out of town for Macedonian Tournaments and Dances.
Even if you're a girl, your parents (who can't remember your name) call you (and all of your siblings) "sine".
You are hopelessly trying to bring the Macedonian community together.
Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than 'rakija'.
Your mother insists that 'promaja' will kill you.
Your mother insists you must eat something with 'Sirenje' at least three times a week.
You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup.
You use 'Rakija' to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion.
You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Years two weeks after everyone else.
Everyone sings "EPPY BRZDAY TO YU!" at your Birthday
Your baba will not accept the fact that you're just not hungry.
Your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from Uni.
You go to a restaurant and bring your own drinks.
You go to your baba's house, she offers you supa, sarma, piperki or Kolbasi and gets upset when you dont eat EVERYTHING.
You are at a zabava and the guys try picking u up by asking, 'Hey baby, what's your slava?'.
When you have four pairs of 'Vlecki'in your wardrobe.
All other action stops when you hear the music of 'Ogan da go gori' or 'Biser balanski'
Everyone is sure you are Greek or Italian.
You are a fan of whatever soccer team Darko Pancev plays for.
When your mum calls you 'stoka'.
You can always smell garlic on your parents' breath and they insist it kills all bacteria.
Your walls are crowded with icons of saints.
Your church has a fully loaded bar.
You have a Goce Delcev picture on the wall.
You live with your parents until you are married.
There's a slab of fat in your fridge called 'SLANINA'.
Your parents still prefer to buy tapes rather than CDs.
Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine cabinet.
Your parents think everything is a conspiracy
You have gone to at least 3 protests in the city.
Your old man hits you more because you are still crying.
Your parents tell you that Virginity (for girls only) is more important than your life.
Your mum or Dad screams at you infront of the whole school on report night.
You deinitely know your a Maco when 'Kisela Voda' from the village well is supposed to taste nicer than Evian spring water.
You have at least a whole 'tengere' left over with food after the whole family has eaten.
Geelong picnic is more important than seeing a dieing friend in hospital.
If something goes wrong in the family, it definitely has something to do with 'Magia'.
Every time a relative comes from overseas he brings you "OPINCI" (those maco sandles).
Everyone asks you how much money you made on your wedding night.
You constantly get asked how much money you make at work and how big your home loan is.
The longer you live with your parents after you get married the better off you are because you can save up enough money to buy a $400,000 home in cash.
Other people than the numko choose the name of your baby.
Your wife has to make you food eveyday and if she doesn't she is not a 'domakinka'.
If you are caught doing the vacuuming by your mum or dad, they say that you are under the thumb and your wife's parents are laughing at you
You have atleast 20 grand cash in the roof.
Your parents invite 500 people over to your house because you proposed to your girlfriend.
If you dont go overseas for your honeymoon, people think that you are having financial problems.
Your parents can eat 'luti piperki' like chocolate and not break out in a sweat.
The house has to be vacummed atleast 10 times a week.
After a late night out with your mates on a Friday night, your mum comes into your room at 8:00 in the morning and vacuums your room and tells you to get up because it's almost lunch time..and then she accidently sprays windex on your face because she is trying to also clean the bed head.
If you are seen drunk at a 21st by an oldie, your parents find out the next day and call you a "piyanica".
Your fridge always has more beer than food, just in case 'gosti' come over.
You always bargain at the market and try to get discounts.
You have an uncle that sticks his thumb up at someone instead of his middle finger and calls him a 'poofter eden'
